It’s the kind of chaos we live for. No one’s getting hurt, but egos? Maybe a little. Expect laughs, gasps, and a few “oh no they didn’t” moments as the Girls Get Off community proves that revenge really can be sweet (and sometimes spicy).
Podcast Transcript
Speaker 1 (00:00.142)
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You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast in all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self loving, sex, orgasms and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the Mastination? Let's get into it.
Hello and welcome to the Girls Get Off podcast. If you're new here, are Viv and Jo, founders of sexual wellness brand Girls Get Off. This season, the podcast has had a of a glow up and we're excited to share with you our weekly segment, the weekly quickie.
This is where we keep you updated on what's happening in the GGO world, what's new in electric toothbrushes and what's going on in our lives. We'll release a new episode every Wednesday, so make sure you follow the podcast and do us a favor by sharing it with your friends.
That said, the last quickie of each month will be a spicy DMs edition with anonymous submissions from you. And this month we ask for your funny or petty breakup revenge stories. Are you ready, Jo?
Speaker 2 (01:07.638)
Yay. Yes, let's get into it.
So these came through via email or DM so in future when we ask for submissions you can get in contact with us anywhere and for everyone's submission that we share we send them a $50 store credit.
Beautiful. Love it. Okay. Are you going to go first or me? Okay. I replaced the number of the person he was secretly sending dick pics to with the number of his mom's.
You can go.
Speaker 2 (01:44.494)
As I'd love it, I'd love it, I'd love it.
my god, imagine. my god, that's wild. That's a good one. And I assume then broke up, but that's a good, that's thinking on your feet.
Yeah, that's the type of revenge we love, right? Like nobody actually gets hurt, but gosh, it's good revenge.
But wouldn't if it changed the number, I guess, yeah, I guess I'm thinking too logically here. If you change someone's number, wouldn't it then come up with your history? Not sure. Who knows? But that's a good one. I love it.
Who knows? Well, it's under, it's still under the same name. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:24.494)
Yeah, true, very true. Who knows? Hopefully I never have to use that one. Alright, here's one that was sent to us through email. when I broke up with my narcissistic ex, I arranged for the Jehovah's Witness door knockers to visit him. I put in the special notes section, I may seem resistant at first, but please persist and convince me that the Lord has a plan for me. He hated being inconvenienced, but after two years of his crap...
I felt it was well deserved. I sent them over a couple of times after that and hope he is utterly confused. Call me petty, I know I am.
Great level of investment there, you know, going above and beyond with actually explaining, you know, that I'm going to be resistant. Love it. Well done. Yeah, it wasn't just a simple go to this address. Really got into it. Love it. OK, my reply is too big for the answer box. This one's through DM. Was with him for nine years. He fucked my best friend.
She doubled down. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:18.089)
No.
Speaker 2 (03:29.934)
and a bunch of other women. He's a real a-hole, no shit. When I kicked him out, I put his box of porn mags and porn DVDs in the front seat of his grandma's car, it up so she couldn't miss it, and added two bongs in there too.
my god. Also, this must have been from a while ago. Who's got porn mags and DVDs? Right?
That is a good point.
Yeah, and also, obviously an X from a long time ago, I'd hope.
Yes. Yeah, well that was like, she was doing shit before her time. Like, how good.
Speaker 1 (04:16.514)
I'm glad she could finally share it, you know, on a such platform. Okay, this one, another one anonymous. They're all anonymous. So my partner and I were breaking up and I was not about to go out without a fight. I knew her favorite sex toy was the only thing I could use to get at her right there and then. So I decided to hide it away in the roof so she couldn't find it. And then when she messaged about if I'd seen it, I told her to look in the manhole and the rest is history. She made a TikTok about it and it went viral.
You
don't even know why she told her where it was. I would have hoped it was one of the remote ones or the Bluetooth toys. You just turn it on in the night or something.
think the joke was the manhole. Was that not the joke?
yeah, guess so. Wow, that's lost on me, isn't it? Was there a man involved? What? I mean, is it a reference to something happened with a man? I feel like I need more to that story.
Speaker 2 (05:12.536)
Did we just miss the joke? Men hole, but you're right.
Surely then that's referencing something else that happened and why they broke up.
Yeah, but otherwise, if that wasn't the joke, then you wouldn't tell her where it was, right?
Okay, I guess next time I want all the details. I want the why.
Yep, the Y. Okay, I love the way this one starts. Pity as fuck, perfect. But I told, pity as fuck, but I told her that her favorite designer purse I had bought for her was a fake. It wasn't, obviously, but I heard she gave it away pretty quickly. Some random person out there has a really nice, genuine Saint Laurent bag, and that makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (05:58.903)
funny, wow.
That's so funny. Wonder if she ever found out though. Probably not. Maybe now. you? Did you give away a bag that you thought was a fake from an ex?
Okay, this one was a story reply. Broke up with my cheating boyfriend and took all the furniture and kitchen stuff out of the house, but also stole all of his towels that weren't mine when I moved out. A month later, invited him over to my new place for a booty call, just to know I've still got it. And he noticed all the things of his that I took and commented on the fact that I left him with no toilet paper when I moved out and he found out the hard way when he was taking a shit.
And then after the booty call, he asked if he could stay over and I said no and kicked him out again and blocked his number.
That is so many levels of petting. Love it.
Speaker 1 (06:50.35)
Again, I need to know, like what the, I think I need to know from these stories, you know, what happened for people to deserve this as well. Cause that's the only question in my mind. I'm like, what's happened? I mean, it's not the segment is it? But that's all that, those kinds of stories just leave me with like, what caused this? Cause that's an effort.
haha
Speaker 2 (07:14.478)
That's so funny that like you take the towels and it gives you like, it gives you like the one-up feeling like, yeah, I got his.
Yeah, also like hate moving house. I don't want to have to move anything more than I need to
I know, but good move taking all the toilet paper.
The towels is pretty funny though, like that's very inconvenient.
Like if you get out of the shower you're gonna have to dry yourself with a t-shirt or something.
Speaker 2 (07:42.678)
Yeah, great, great. And I love that. no. Awesome. Love it. All right. My ex had an affair. She moved in with him pretty much straight away. I went around to pick up the kids, used the toilet, saw their toothbrushes, left a little piss on it.
I was actually, until I read this one, was actually surprised nobody had done any toothbrush pranks. feel like toothbrushes, like whether it's like wiping the toilet with it or something, what was another one? Like password changes and stuff, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's so many common ones you hear of like that.
I actually, when we started doing this segment and I ran into a friend and she said that she was like, this is right up my alley. And she had actually, when she broke up with this guy, she had called the council on like a thing that wasn't permitted or something in his house and like just caused like just trouble, you know?
Or signing people's email addresses up to spam or mailing lists or something. think that would annoy me the most if I had to unsubscribe from all these terrible or annoying different lists that I get enough as it is that I've signed up to myself, let alone if someone else went and just signed me up constantly. Right, this one is a Christmas themed one. So take notes for anyone who finds themselves in a position this...
the silly season. I bought him some t-shirts from our local surfwear shop. Couldn't refund them and had no use for them, so gave them to him anyway. I got a phone call on Christmas Eve morning from our local radio station to say I'd entered a competition and won 5k. Turns out the shop attendant had put my name in the drawer and I had not paid any attention. Definitely a win for me. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:46.498)
That's that is the right kind of Love it.
That's not very petty, that's good karma because you gave them the tops anyway.
Yeah, like she didn't actually have to do anything. That's the universe just on her side, right? So good. So good. And there was also nothing about fish, which I'm stoked about, like fish going off dead fish. Have you not heard of those stories? Like a fish under the seat of the car or like.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:14.653)
God.
Speaker 2 (10:18.798)
Okay, but I think that's it. Is that enough pettiness? Everybody that sent in those submissions though, you're getting a $50 store credit. And if you have enjoyed the podcast, make sure you leave a like and a comment. And you can find us on Instagram or TikTok at girlsgetoff. Our Facebook group is girlsgetoffuncensored. I went to say Facebook uncensored, but girlsgetoffuncensored.
and we will see you next week.
See you next week. Bye.