Weekly Quickie Episode 13: How You Met In The Wild - ft. Special Guest

Jo (00:13.142)

and welcome to the Girls Get Off podcast. This is our weekly quickie segment where normally we're keeping you updated in the world of vibrators and sex toys and everything that's going on at Girls Get Off, but for the last episode of every month, it becomes submissions from you guys. And this month, we've got stories about how you met in the wild, which we're gonna get into in a second. But normally I'm recording with Joe, my business partner, except this week, I've got a special guest, Joe Sick.

And in her place is Emma from Get Good Face. Woo woo woo! Woo woo woo! Now Emma, if people don't already follow you on Instagram, we know each other through friends, but also through business. Tell us about Get Good Face. Well, Get Good Face is a skincare brand and it is the best damn skincare you will ever try. I've got Get Good Face all through my shower now and I've got all the little travel sizes. You gave them to me last time I saw you. you have the cleanser now.

I've got the cleanser. And you're also, would say, one of my friends who loves a Maz the most. So I feel like even though you are in the skincare niche. I'm also in the Mazzy niche. Is that throwing you under the bus? I don't think so. think you're quite open about the topic. I totally am. But you know, I'm trying to be professional. This is not a professional podcast. Yeah, no. Me and Viv usually call each other up and just...

What have you now to are just been having a mess

That's not a lie. That's exactly what happened yesterday. Emma, do you want to come on the podcast? What have you been doing? Oh, mazzing. I'm like, perfect. But it's good because whenever I need product feedback, you're one of the best. Yep, absolutely. Send them my way. Okay, so the way this segment is going to work, people have messaged in how they met their partners in the wild. This came about because Jo and I were obviously single, always thinking about different ways that we can meet people that aren't on the apps. And I feel like

Jo (02:14.016)

This is relevant to you as well. Yeah, I need some bloody tips on how to meet men in the wild. I'm just about, I've signed up to golf and I'm just about to sign up to the driving range close to my house because I'm telling you, actually, girls listening to this, golf driving ranges and not the ones that you go and play outside because I've gone to those before and everyone is freakishly silent. Like you're not allowed to, you're not allowed to make a noise. Everyone's just quietly hitting the balls.

But this one that I'm signing up to is, it's like an indoor simulator one. Yeah, so instead of going and like smacking balls outside where nobody says a word, this is like an indoor one and there's like bar leaners at each booth and there's guys in there that'll go with like two or three mates and they're just like laughing and chatting and hitting the ball. So I went in there the other day to sign up and was like, my God, I've cracked the code.

come here, there's no other girls around, was the only girl there, dress up, put some heels on, and go and practice my golf swing. And people are actually talking, so you're more likely to get a conversation at one of those places, like the simulator places where they have like drinks and stuff, because people are chatty, than one of the places outside where people are all silento, like you literally cannot talk at those places.

Cause I guess the driving range they're actually practicing their golf, whereas the simulator they might be there on a bucks party or just having fun or catching up after work. Well, they are actually all practicing golf. Like they bring golf clubs and stuff, but I've never seen like that many good looking guys walking into one place. So I've still got to go and like sign up for my membership because I couldn't find their bloody app. And then I'm going to start going three times a week and I'm going to literally dress up and make sure I look nice. And I'm going to go and practice my swing and I will.

update you on all the dates I get asked on. Are you go by yourself? Yeah, I'm gonna go by myself, but I'm also gonna, you know that book that you read, what is it, that Matthew guy? Matthew Hussey, How to Get a Guy, or How to Get a Guy? Yeah, yeah, I read that. Yeah, yeah, I read that book. I don't know about that book, but anyway, was just parts of it I took from it, and it was like, you have to just talk to men. So even if you're not even interested in them, just speak to them anyway to practice speaking to them, because you never know, they could have a brother or a friend.

Jo (04:35.54)

or you just don't know, like you're opening up your sort of like radius to other men. So I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna smack balls and I'm gonna practise talking to men and I'm going to try and get a date out of it. Amazing, are you gonna set yourself any targets? Like are you gonna, you go like at least minimum one guy per session? What, KPI's? Yeah, KPI's. Well, I think I've got to come up with some tactics like, you know, can you help me with my grip or, or.

I don't know, I could smack a ball really hard into someone else's square or something like that, like smack it through the wall. Apparently you can't do that, but I could. Or I could scream like, ow! Or something, like, my God, yes, just start doing sexy noises as I'm hitting the ball. Yes! And watch them run over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So no, we'll see. I'll go in there and I'll just suss the place out first. And then, yeah, I'm gonna start.

I'm literally trying to do that. also, I'm going to a golf tournament. Like fuck is if I really want to do that. To watch or to play? No, just to go because that's where men go. Yeah, this is smart. I like this. Yeah, so I'm trying to, I'm trying to put myself in places where there are men. Yeah, I'm all about this. I am

I feel like I was doing that, but not anymore. feel like the swimming group lately has gotten way more mean, is good. But maybe we're going to get some inspiration from the following stories. I don't think anyone's got a golf story. well, that'll be me in the next one. So let's hear them. Nice. OK, first one. were both young restaurant owners, her in the North Island, myself in the South Island. Found her restaurant Instagram through a mutual bar we both followed that she commented something funny on.

Followed her and commented on a picture of a selfie she took in her room, giving her shit about the mess and the multiple pizza boxes in the background. Got to know each other via writing about how our days were and how service was in the form of erotica. Little while later, I surprised her IRL by turning up out of the blue to her restaurant while she thought I was on the other side of the country. Long distance for a while, eventually my restaurant went under and then hers was forced to close. So she moved down to the South Island and we've just welcomed our first baby together. So we'd love to snag about you.

Jo (06:49.71)

I love it. Okay, interesting one here to unpack. I've never, I don't know if you have, had anyone apart from absolute schloosers go and try and come for me in Instagram. Like have you? I think I've only had very seedy, hi, hi, your boyfriend must be lucky in the GGO request folder, but they're quite few and far.

between I've never had, actually I reckon, no, I take that back. Once I had someone slide into my DMs after I posted a very hungover story on like New Year's Day, things weren't good. Yeah, but a total stranger. You're not a total stranger. This guy was a total stranger.

and then he saw her like something on a mutual thing they were liking. So it'd be like if we were looking at something funny on Instagram and then I saw that this guy, let's say, called him like, I don't know, Tom, Tom, Tom. He does mean skin care. A last name, yeah, whatever. And I just clicked on his profile and was like, oh, he's kind of hot. And then I just added him. Like, I would never, would you do that? I'm trying to think if I have done that before. I don't think so, I know.

Yeah, like ballsy move, like to start with, because I just would think, well, how do I know that they don't have a partner? But I've had friends say, oh, Instagram's the best dating app. And I'm like, what do you mean? No one comes to me on my Instagram. I've tried to go shopping before for people, you know, if I am going to like a group event or there's a group chat, I might have a little nosy through and see who's going, see if there's anyone I don't know. But I've never gone full cold turkey like that. And I don't understand how it went from.

I can, you know, maybe two business owners, that's not a weird thing for them to talk, but then to go to erotica renditions of your day, it's quite a jump. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm like, now I'm just wanting someone to randomly message me, but honestly, I think if someone randomly messaged me off Instagram, I would just be like, I would block and delete them. I'd be like, what do you want? I love the story because I'm like, wow, that's, that's great to know that.

Jo (09:09.548)

you know, normal people are out there doing that. Well, I think the key is that it wasn't like they were hitting on her, like he wasn't hitting on her from the start or something, you know? Like if someone, if someone was, like if they were just messaging you like a random person and you built an online friendship, I feel like that can happen. Yeah, I know it can happen, but I just, I'm trying to imagine myself in that situation. So I get a random friend request from someone, I look at it and it's like,

Tony Roberts, okay, I don't know, let's see. I would be like, I don't know Tony Roberts, decline. You know Yeah, yeah, fair, okay. So, but this is good because now I'm like, well maybe those randoms that if you do get a random follower request, this is giving us a positive story that maybe you should accept it and start chatting. All right, next one. Moving on. Hi team, I met my now husband in the wild in a very Romeo and Juliet.

We were both volunteering at Christmas in the Park behind the scenes for our respective surf life saving clubs Red Beach for me and Oriwa for my hubby. These surf clubs are massive rivals given how close they are to each other and when we met back in 2009 they had a very strong rivalry and almost hated each other. Also funny thing was that we were both working for the local council at the time although hubby was never office based as he worked as a lifeguard supervisor so I never saw him.

Hubby is British and was working continuous summers, half the year in New Zealand, half in Wales at the time. So after he chased me and we started being exclusive, we did two years long distance with me going over to the UK for one five week period, the first winter and for three weeks the second winter. He then immigrated for good and we married in 2012. We now have two daughters, nine and four years old. How cute. Very cute. Well, as someone who did surf life-saving for over 10 years,

Tell you what, I certainly am not married with children. However, I can relate to sleeping with your lifeguard supervisor, because I did do that at one stage. Did you do it on the beach? No, didn't do it on the beach. But it was a great time. Lovely guy. Still say hello when we see each other. that's cute. Do you know the thing with this story, the long distance side of it? I always think like, God, long distance would be so hard. But when you very hear these long distance stories, I always think.

Jo (11:31.672)

That's so cute that you actually like each other enough to do long distance. Do you know what? I feel like long distance would drive me up the wall. I'm too impulsive. I can't even deal if I am, have just started talking to someone, I'm really into them and then maybe I go away for two weeks. It just makes me want them more. And then when you do see them, I feel like it's, you know, it's almost like.

No offence, but it's almost not as good as the build up and the fact that you can't have it while you're away. So I cannot imagine doing six months long distance with someone. Yeah, well people do, yes, but it's like the fantasy of missing them almost is sometimes more than the actual feeling of actually missing them. You know, it's like, it's that feeling of missing them. It's almost like sometimes more intense than how much you like them. Not for these guys.

I've read about that before, but like big props to anyone that does long distance. I actually think for a little while it would be quite nice. You'd have your own space, you can do what you like and you can just, you know, get on with it. And then you have, you know, your special time together. But I couldn't probably go longer than a year. think I'd and you must have like very good communication and the guy must not be a fricking arsehole. Yeah. And good sex toys. What about, have you slept with your boss before? Have you slept with a supervisor or? No, well, I've never had a boss. I've only been my own boss. So I guess I have.

That's right. For those who don't know, you just... I'm sleeping with my boss every day. Emma's one of the OG entrepreneurs and was like selling vegetable peelers back at the markets back in the day. But look, that's a story for another day, another podcast probably. Not very sexy, but good stuff. OK, this is the last one here. I met my husband in the wild nearly 14 years ago. It was on a cattle station in the Northern Territory, Australia when I was 18 years old and fresh out of school. I went to the Northern Territory for a gap year to work in the stock...

camp where he was the head stockman. We got off to a rocky start. I arrived with another girl that I had driven there with. It was January and so bloody hot we were wearing denim short singlets and thongs on our feet. When we arrived the cook took us for a little tour on the quad bike so we put boots on for safety. This is when I first met my future husband. His first thought was look at these two idiots wearing short shorts with high top boots. They must think it's going to be like McLeod's daughters. They won't last long here.

Jo (13:50.624)

A few weeks later we had a blue at the horse yards. He was being unfair and uns- a blue like a fight. Yeah, Jesus. a bluey. He was being unfair and unsafe to me with the horses and I yelled at him and stormed off. I didn't like him much at all at this point. Things slowly settled down and within a few months I'd gone to him to ask some advice about another guy on the station that I'd kissed as I wanted a male's perspective. There was no previous advances from him or any inkling from me that he had any interest-

until his hands started to wander when we were watching a movie with some of the others that night. One thing led to another and after everyone else had gone to bed, we ended up making out in the lounge. We successfully snuck around for about six months without anyone knowing and with only a couple of close calls of getting caught. The following year we made it official and have now been married for seven and half years and have three little girls. I wonder why they had to keep it secret because he was her head stockman, maybe? my God, I've just like.

fantasizing this whole story in my mind, like the Clouds Daughters. And the fact that they, I think having to hide it for six months is so horny. Like that's fun. Yeah, that's, and you're in a remote place. There's probably not a lot to do, no offence to the Newland territory, but you're on a farm. And you're not meant to be doing it. That's like all the good parts of the long distance anticipation, but you can actually have sex with each other.

Yeah, God, I want to have a fling with someone I'm not allowed to. Watch out. Lock up your husbands.

No. Keep away from the golf simulator. No, I bought a new car today and honestly I have this weird crush on the guy that I bought the car off. I don't know why, I think it's just because I've had no attention from a man for so long and he's obviously been real nice to me because I bought the car. But today he's like, you've got to be okay, driving off now, here's the drive, now put the brake on. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go now. he's like, wait, wait,

Jo (15:49.324)

I need to show you a few more things inside the car." And I was like, okay. And I literally know he has a wife and kids. Like, obviously I'm not trying to go there, but for some reason I was like really fond of him because he was so nice to me. So nice to you. The bars were alone. literally, he mansplained how to drive an automatic car and you're in love. Yeah, yeah. And then he's like, you know, stop by and have coffee anytime. And I'm like, why would I do that? And he's like, well, you know, people pop back in and they...

we make you a nice coffee and we can just chat about how the car is. And I was like, I'm never gonna do that. Like, I'm never gonna do that, Nigel. And he's like, all right then, well don't. And I'm like, well, seriously, do you think I'm gonna pop by and have a coffee? Like, that's just the weirdest thing ever. He's like, all right, I'll give you a call next week to check how the car is. And I'm like, okay.

Okay, so we've got one, what is it, forbidden love in your life, but that's actually forbidden. It's not long distance, it's not on a farm with your work colleagues. What about a colleague? You haven't slept with a work colleague? I've never had a colleague. never, I've had a couple, yeah, I've always been the boss, but I have had a couple of jobs, but no, I've never got it on with anyone at work. That's so boring. That seems like the funnest place, like an office job where people get it on.

I can't imagine. I remember when I had a crush on someone like in my swimming group going up and nothing ever happened, but I just liked going to swimming so I could see them. I think the same as you, I mean, I went to, I worked for a little bit, through, you know, school jobs and stuff. But then other than that, literally, girls get off. There's not a lot of men in the spheres of who I'm talking to. I did think to myself maybe,

you know, another, I could specifically start another business that was male focused as a good way to essentially work with guys. But it seems like a bit of a long shot, a lot of effort. Well, I wanted to start at like a dating agency where I got to choose and match people. Cause I think I'd be a good matchmaker, but obviously every man has to come through me. So depends like if I want to.

Jo (17:55.47)

give them away or if I just be like, before we proceed your application, I just want to check, would you like to just date me? You don't have to pay the fee. I just come absolutely free if you'd like to date me. And that's the best way that I can get them all. And then I have all these poor girls being like, when am I going to get a match? And I'll just be like, nom, nom, nom. You need more. You've an absolute pipeline of guys. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just off having orgies like in the back room, like, yeah, soon girls, soon.

Little trial run. Wait till I'm finished with him. Introductory phase. But no, I actually think maybe we need to just start a business for men. Yeah. Men's skincare. Yeah, exactly. do. Men's what? Men's vibrators. Oh, I don't know. I've got no idea. Anyway, thanks for coming as a guest on the podcast Emma. That's our weekly quickie. Oh, one and done. Oh, that was real quick. And if you want to find...

More about Emma, where can they find you and Get Good Face? You can find Get Good Face at get.good.face. Nice. And Girls Get Off is at girlsgetoffgirlsgetoff.com. Have an amazing week. You too.