Sex Files 01: Rebecca Keil

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Go You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast in all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self-loving, sex, orgasms, and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the master nation? Let's get into it. Okay, welcome up to a brand new feature here on the Girls Get Off podcast, the sex files. We're trying to spice things up and give you more of an insight into what's happening in our world, but also create something that represents what Girls Get Off stands for. Every fortnight we'll be inviting a guest to speak with us about their sex life, from when it started to how it's going now, from the awkward to the amazing. We've got nine questions that we'll ask every guest while we hold a safe space for them to open up. While this sounds scary to some people, for us it's just about living our mission. So Girls Get Off is about normalising sex for everyone and the best way to do that is to share as much as possible in a safe space where people can feel heard and validated. The truth is if you feel empowered and can ask for what you want in the bedroom, you'll be having the best sex of your life. And sex is many things to many people, so some episodes might be serious, others will have our trademark sense of humour. Whatever happens, it's going to be a full on ride. If you enjoyed this podcast, please follow it on all your podcast apps and share it with a friend. This week we have Rebecca Kahl joining us. So you might know her from her Instagram account, Rebecca J. Kahl, where she shares her daily life about being a mum and an all round good sort. And fun fact, when we were starting Girls Get Off and no one wanted to talk about vibrators on their Instagram stories, Rebecca was one of the very first to believe in GGO and make sure everyone knew. She'd had the, and I quote, because I remember the story you posted, she'd had the best orgasm ever from her missy. So how are you Rebecca? It's been so long. We were saying before we jumped on this is the first time that all three of us have actually jumped on a call. I think it's always been emails and DMs and voice notes. Yeah, no, I'm really good. I've got my fun, girls get off. supporter stories, you guys sent me McDonald's after I had my baby and it was the best thing ever. That's right. No, after I had Aggie, who's about to turn four, in like three weeks, I literally the day, so I had her like 11 o'clock at night and then the next day, all this McDonald's just turned up and honestly, I've never, what more do I want in a brand relationship than vibrators and McDonald's? That was early days, that's right, because we were at your house, Jo, and we were like, She said the baby, she like, well, let's send her McDonald's. Who's in her house? She's got her mom, her kids. We were like, yeah. We thought people would send you flowers and we're like, nah. We'll send her cheeseburgers. Honestly, because you people around and like the kids and like you send so much McDonald's. We could just live in our best lives. It was great. Cause we were sitting there trying to figure out how many people would be at your house as well. We're like two other kids. We've got Jaren, we've got your mom. I had like 20 at my birth, so like, you know. Just perfect. Oh my gosh, how good, I'd forgotten about that. So had I. And we wrote something in the, like on the docket, didn't we? Yeah, there was like a, yeah, I think they actually put a post-it note in, like obviously you'd said, and then they must have written it. And it was like, I'm pretty sure it was like a post-it note, because I was like, what is going on? And there was like a post-it note from you guys. I can't remember what it said, but it was like amazing. That's so funny. Oh my gosh, how good. Hey, well, you're welcome. Thank you. Happy to help. Happy to help. Who would have thought some cheeseburgers would have landed us with our first guest on the Sex World podcast. And for what we did leave out of the intro, Rebecca, what else do listeners need to know about you to understand who you are? So I am Rebecca and we live in Christchurch. We are from Otutahi. I've got three children. I've got an 11 year old and nine year old and a three year old and I reckon I'm one of Girls Get Off's biggest fans. I actually do shows, comedy shows sometimes and literally at every show for the last seven years I've raved about Missy Mini. So I love, I love, love the Missy Mini but we'll get to that. oh But we're all over the place at the moment. My life's very chaotic. If you follow me or know me on the internet, you'll know I thrive in some chaos. So currently we live in Christchurch, but my husband has been living in Tāmaki Makaurau. We've been up there back and forth during the year while he studies. So yeah, it's been a very interesting year. We're sometimes surviving, not thriving, but I love a live, laugh, love and like a YOLO and it's just, everything's fine. Let's get. into it shall we? Before we get started we wanted to warn you about the last question we're going to ask you because it's a pretty big one. And that question will be what's the one sexual thought, fantasy or experience you've had that you've never told anyone about and why have you kept it to yourself? You don't have to answer now. Our aim is to have such a good chat and be so comfortable with each other by the end of this that you'll want to answer it. If we get to it at the end and you're not into it That's okay as well. Good sex is about great boundaries. Okay, are you ready to jump into the questions? I sure am. How often are you having sex? So I guess this is gonna be two different answers when you were living together and now. Yeah, so I think this is a really fun question because obviously as a mum, like shit's wild, like things change so drastically, like so quickly. like, you know. I was talking to a friend about this recently who literally is like daily, like cannot, will not, like daily, no, no, you know, no accesses. Whereas I was like, yeah, but like, don't you, I've definitely gone periods in our marriage where like we've gone ages without like, you know, anything. And then periods where you're like, oh my God, you're so great, let's fuck all the time. And obviously now, which I think super normal, why I wanted to say that was just, you know, being a mum, like it's so normal to have like, fluctuations and change and things like that. And like my normal's not someone else's normal. But obviously at the moment we're a little bit like challenging because I live in one island and he lives in another island. We've also done a lot of like long distance. My husband's been in the army and the police. And so we've done lots of like dry spells. And this was like, I'm so glad that we have you guys now because I'm going back like when he was in the army, there was like A, nothing and B, like. It was not like no one even talked about like toys and vibrators and things like that. So you would, I just, you'd just go months, maybe a finger bang every now and then, but you just like, you know. So we have sex when Jared's in the same house as me, which is not super, we're probably like four weekly currently. Once every four weeks, once a month. Yeah. When you see each other now, are you both like ready to jump each other? Like a But then you've got like kid challenges and things like that, right? So it's like so annoying. I'm like, what do you mean you're in my room? Like get out. Like literally I'll tell you funny story. So like we're a very sex positive, like household and family. And at the moment we've got my sister and her family living with us because they've bought and sold, move out tomorrow, hallelujah. We've probably cut that bit out. But so we've had for the last 13 weeks, I've in my bedroom, I've got myself, my nine year old and my three year old. uh we've got two single beds and maybe dream. So Jared, my husband, went to visit um like two weeks ago and um I was like, right, Roob, she's sleeping in with you, another room. And she was like, why? And I was like, it doesn't matter. She's like, you guys are gonna have sex, aren't you? And I was like, well, here we are. Do you know what we are? So you can leave. I was like, you may as well, um we don't need to be around the bush here. Like, you know what that is. You know that we have it. You know, like, yes, we're going to have sex, get out of the room. And so she was like fine and went and slept somewhere else. But like that will mortify and horrify people but like fucking YOLO like who cares? Like anyway but she desperately wants a sibling so she was like I'm out. get poor. And then it was like did you make a baby? So you know I was like no we didn't but so our sex life is A, challenging because we're in different islands. It's B, challenging because we have got multiple children sleeping in our bedroom when we are together. And yeah, so we're definitely doing the sex when we're together frequently. I, if my, like, hey, I'm pretty sex positive. We all know that. But man, if my mum told me that she was going to have sex with me, like, oh, that is just like, that is my ball. I'd be like, ah, never sleep in their room again. Does she come back into your room the next, you know, the next? Oh yeah, but this is what I think the sex positive family and household is. Didn't even, didn't phase her. No, I think that's great. Like there was no, like she was probably more like, fuck you for like, you know, making me leave than she was. Like there was no gross doubt by it. Like it was just, do you know what I mean? So, and also she thought she was getting a sibling out of it. So like she was all for it. She's a motivated girl. Exactly. So yeah. I had two big boxes of these mystery boxes that were launching. in a couple of days, but they're like rogue mystery boxes from the trade shows in Hong Kong and literally two clear boxes and I'd bagged them in clear glad bags. So there is like nothing hiding anything. And Jake who's 17, he walked out the other morning. He's like, you've really got some interesting stuff in there. And then that was it. And then walked by and I'm like, oh. This is getting so much better, how good. Yeah, and I like we've just pinked early. Okay, Rebecca, if you had a theme song for your sex life, what would it be and why? Okay, so I think that I've only picked this one because it's got a little bit of a backstory and we've obviously worked out by now, I love a little bit of a backstory. um But I think it would be, um it's cliche, I'll make love to by boys to men. And is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah, but. Casey and Jojo. Casey and Jojo? Oh my gosh, you're speaking my high school language. is... I'm an addler to you. And you want me to... Is that Boys 2 Men or Casey and Jojo? So when we were again, all of my like stories go back to high school. So sorry about that. We went to the Boys 2 Men and Casey and Jojo. They came to New Plymouth. Why? I don't know, but they did. What? I know. And so we went to the... um We went to the concert. I didn't know you called a concert. It was, you know, at like the town hall. And Jared went with another girl and he came home with me that night. So, then definitely had sweet, sweet, probably not great sex too. I'll make love to you after the full play of seeing Boys To Men Live. How good. That's so good. That's so good. Love it. Love it. I can't believe there was such an incredible act all the way in the neck here at the town hall. Yeah? I know. And why will we go into our teenagers, to boys to men? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's wild. Or my other would be like a pretty Ricky song. Growing up, did you talk about sex at home with your parents? So I'm the last kid out of like six and my oldest sibling's like in her fifties. So um we like... My parents, think, kind of just like, they just gave up a little bit. Like, you know, you get to the last one and you're just like, whatever. Like, I was a reasonably good kid, so I kind of just got to like do what I want when I wanted. But we definitely were like, again, I think, like I actually, you you think back and like, don't remember like the sex talk or like anything like that. But then at the same time, like it was never like a taboo subject. So like I, you know, was taken. to get the pill. My dad actually took me to get the pill. Obviously someone made an appointment, but he was the one who was available to take me when I was young. I don't remember specific conversations and stuff, also it was never like a, I never felt weird about it or I couldn't ask something or talk about something or things like that. So we were definitely like, but again, I was like the last of probably. They'd relaxed a lot and were just trying to get on with their lives but they still had a kid at home, which was me. So it was pretty chill and yeah, I never felt weird or it was just normal. Say it was sex talked about, I don't know, by an older sibling saying, oh, they slipped at blah blah blah's house last night. Or was it talked about in terms of, or was it like, oh, how come, I don't know, it's something to do with, I don't know, did you? Chlamydia at a young age, I'm not sure. know, like, how was, how do you mean it was kind of casual? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me a funny story about Chlamydia, which you might have to cut out because it's really not great. So I got Chlamydia when I was like in high school. Again, who cares? But the funny thing is, so I think I probably cheated on Jared and that's how I got it, which was fine. We were like. 16, 16, like whatever we married, fine. And, but Junot's so funny. So like we had like a free clinic, which like most towns did, right? So like when they had great, great nurse, when they got the things. And then I told Jared, I told Jared that I had thrush and he had to take these pills as well. And so he just took them and asked no questions. And then he still to this day, I don't think knows that story. So that's fun. uh Did you get, what, did they give you pills for, cause Klamini, just gotta take a couple of pills. That's an easy one. It was real low-tech rock and talanaki, like, you know. Okay, yeah. They were like, just feed him these pills. Yeah, she was like, just give him these. And I was like, okay. And he just took them without asking any questions. well, yeah, I guess so. But, you know, at least, you know, we're all learning. But that's a very good share. And the clinic got shut down. Don't worry about it. It's fine. They're not like, well, actually, you know, a funding issue, which is sad. well, because they're giving away too many free drugs. That's why. Hand them out, willy-nilly. Yeah. Probably they reach the bonus thrush. Hey, at least it's stopping the spread of chlamydia. Exactly. You've got to do what you've got to do to the rampant teens in Taranaki. no, well, I lied to Gerard about it. That's where I was going with that. So I obviously didn't tell my parents I had chlamydia either. Oh, would somebody tell their parents they had chlamydia? I don't think you would, especially if you've got those, like, free clinic kind of things, you know? You know, like you didn't really have to share that. That's like oversharing with parents, feel. I probably would have. But then I think I'm smart enough to know there's a knock on effect because like, obviously there was unprotected sex. So, you know, then you get a whole fucking thing and I probably didn't want deal with that. just, I could just deal with things myself, I guess. yeah, like it was just, no, great. I mean, I just wanted to kind of quantify what was, you know, talking about sex at home, where's the limit? But that's great, makes sense. Yeah, I definitely could have. Like I have no doubt in my mind that I could have if it was like something like that where I couldn't go to like the local clinic that was gonna double up on my drugs. I definitely could have been like, something's not right. Or I actually like, you know, for example, I also got, this is another funnish story. I also got vaginismus. Is that what it's called? When I was in vaginismus. Vagina Smith, that's such a good name. That sounds way cooler than Vagina Smith. Oh. Yeah, I had a real good sex education that I can't even say whatever. Anyway, but I got that when I was in high school and my mom took me to the doctor for that. like, guess, and then I had to go buy a vibrator and then I had to go see a sex therapist. This was all in high school and like, Pauline just, how good, you know? It took me nowhere. She's there, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And do you know, I think I got it from the guilt of cheating on Jarrett. Yeah. Oh, you. Like a total, it's like a, so then I went to the GP, which Pauline took me, and then I went to, my treatment plan was to see a sex therapist who was a kid at school's mom. And New Plymouth is a really small place. And then the present from there was to buy a vibrator. That was my first ever vibrator. And Pauline probably gave me the money for that, you know? Like, so I guess to a certain extent, I didn't tell them I had chlamydia, but I had told them. that I couldn't get the dick in, because, you know, it's too tight. That is outstanding. I love that. So, yeah. Go Pauline. Okay, is there something you unlearned about sex that changed everything? I feel like everything. You unlearn everything that you think you know, when you're like, I think that you probably, I feel like this will be a common thing, but like I have had, I started having good sex, probably not until... late 20s, like I want to say like in my 30s, but it was probably, you late 20s, but you just like unlearn, I guess, everything. I'm grateful for, well, I'm not grateful, I look forward to the generations growing up now that maybe have better knowledge and understanding in sex, as in just like sex, there's more to it. I probably didn't think, obviously I knew sex and pleasure, but you kind of just start having sex, right? And then you kind of continue that on. And I think probably growing up as well and the generation that I am and probably other people, you kind of just like had sex. then I probably didn't start having pleasurable sex until in my 20s. if I'm being told, obviously it's still good and fun and stuff, but like good, pleasurable sex. Was the purpose for you, because I know it was like this for me as well, was the purpose for you um the guy finishing? Like that's what I thought sex was, so. Yeah, yeah, let's play. And like you knew about orgasms, but like who had those, you know? It was like you didn't, um yeah, I don't know. And I think that I, again, like, I'm going to turn this into a parenting podcast because that's what, that's my jam. But like again, I look forward to like. my children having such a better understanding and knowledge of sex and again being really sex positive with them so that they like I just think it's so weird that we know people are having sex kids are having sex teenagers, shouldn't say kids, teenagers are having sex but like so why not have them do it properly like I think that's such a like thing that is so like to build people listen to this and be like oh my god she's talking about her kids having sex but like if they're gonna have it why not teach them how to like enjoy it and do it properly. I don't think that's probably not the right word, but you know, like I want my son to know that it should be pleasurable for a woman and for their female partner. And same with Ruby. I'm like, you should be enjoying this. Like, so if you had to describe the difference between say an afternoon night session, having sex at 21 versus at 31, what would, how would the nights differ? Like take us so that people can understand like, you know, it was better in your 30s. How would those two nights differ? Talk us through the 21. Okay, 21 year old are because like having fun sex because you're like young and it's fun, but I wouldn't say fun's not pleasure, doesn't, they're not, you know, fun doesn't equate to pleasurable. I think that's probably the unlearning there, right? Sex is like fun and it's like great and it's like spontaneous when you're like 21, right? And then having sex now, the biggest difference is like I orgasm first when I have sex. like no, not doing it if I'm not doing that. So that's probably like the biggest unlearning. So like 21 year old kind of like bang, bang, bang, the guy finishes, I've had sex, yeah. Yeah, it's just like, my God, I'm having sex, you know? Like, as opposed to like, I'm having sex to really enjoy it and to orgasm. It's just like, this is like hot and heavy and like, you know? But I still at that point, I didn't know that I could orgasm every time I have sex or like during foreplay or like whatever. So it was just like, yeah, like this is so great. But actually like shit, it was shit. You don't actually know any different at that age, hey? And that's what I mean. Like unlearning for me was everything. Like it was literally like everything to do with sex, I think. You've been with Jared for most of this time, right? Yeah, so. That's this is so fun. So me and Gerard have been, we've been like together since we were, we started dating when we were 15. And so I remember when I first started, like people knew that people would be like so mortified, you know, and I get that. It's like, you've only had sex. And I'm like, no fucking please, I was a fun gal, like chill out. So that's my, we've been together since we were 15, like. you know, obviously when you're in high school, like you're going to be on again, off again. And like, it's so funny when I go to New Plymouth and do like these comedy shows that I do, like I love being like, well, who in this crowd sparked my husband? it's... I just thought of making it that really uncomfortable, but it's such a place, so there's, we've had... They would, that's so funny. That is so funny. Cause if anybody had, they were probably going there like talking shit and then you just like. Because then we'd be back together probably the next week. No, but we, you know, so like we broke up like teenagers do and you know, banged other people. And then there was definitely like, you know, during those earlier years, like I said, we were probably cheating on each other and stuff as well. You know, like you're teenagers, who cares? um But that has been quite an interesting aspect of my sex life, I guess. I think for me, I've only ever had good sex with Jared and I don't mean that like, ever, all the time with us, but like all of the other people that I've had sex with like was more just like wham bam, like, you know, like sex as opposed to like, I've done my like learning and my unlearning and my, you know, being more knowledgeable and know what I like and communicated that with like, you know, Jared. And I think when you've been together a really long time. it, like, I'd say both our sex lives have got better at the older we've got, which again, I think will be quite a common thing. Well, that's why I was curious, because I was like, not only, you know, a lot of people can say that they had better sex at 30 than 20, but not only have you done that, you've done it with the same person. Whereas there's also, you know, at GGO, we see a lot of DMs or, you know, messages in the Facebook group for people who've been with someone for a long time. And that makes it to them harder to talk about different, you know, I want you to do it this way. Can we change this? Can we try something new? So. That's fascinating, but like, listen to you, you're a communicator, aren't you? So. Can you imagine? Can you imagine me not communicating? Yeah. It's also great for the people in the like, uncensored group and stuff like that, that you see come through that is like, he's like, they don't enjoy the sex with their partner at the moment, for instance. And it can get better with communication, you know, like it's just all a part of it. You guys are both. learning together and growing together. yeah. Has it ever been a struggle for you? To like communicate? Yeah, before we go to... No? Like have there ever been times where you think like, oh, I want it like I want to change this or do this something different in the bedroom and I'm not sure how he's going to react? No, I don't think so because I think we're probably both really like on the same page with like with sex. So I think that like no one's really gonna nothing's going to be too left field because we kind of are quite similar, I guess, in what we enjoy. And also, yeah, I feel like if I was like, wanna have sex on top of that lamppost, hanging upside down, I would know to ease into that, you know? Like, so nothing. Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I don't think so. Like sometimes. think that sex is so interesting because you can be, you know, when you say that, like, yeah, there's some times where I'm like, oh, this is a shit, but like, whatever, like, great person, love you. Like, I really can't be fucked with, like, you know. So I do think there's an element of sex where it is connection and that's not always, um you know, especially as parents, sometimes it is just connection and it's not the best sex in the world, but like, you feel great afterwards because you've finally done it after fucking three weeks of hating your life and your kids and your husband, you know, like. And you're like, oh my God, this is like my, think this is so important for like parents because you can just all of a sudden be like, holy fuck, it's been three weeks. And like, that's not because you don't want it or you don't like your partner or, but it's just all of a sudden you blinked in three weeks in general is fucking passed by. Like you don't know, know, like you, just life's just passed by and then you do it. And then like this has happened to us so many times and you do it you're like, oh fuck, that was really nice. Like we should do that more often. Sometimes it is just making the effort to do it. Because, yeah, so. Yeah. What's the most awkward experience you've ever had in bed? Okay, so I did practice this with my friend the other night. I pre-enacted it for her. So that was probably how I got my back, no. So I had two, one's like, okay, so my first one is just like. when again we were like teenager, both the teenager stories actually, which I think is only relevant because again, like I've been with job so long, everything, we had kids at 22, so you know, everything gets a bit boring in the sense of like adventurous sex from there on out, because you've got a fucking kid in the house all the time. But we, one time we were having sex and we were like, oh, we might've actually been like, yeah, teens. And we were at my parents' house, we were having sex in the middle of the day, and obviously, no, I was home. and my parents, family cat, know, cats. So obviously his legs were moving and my cat, my family cat, attacked his fucking legs and wouldn't let go to the point where I had to get, we had to disembark and I had to remove the cat from his, it was fully attacking his feet and it would not stop and we couldn't get it off and we had to disengage and I couldn't get the cat away. So that's like. Did he try and play it cool at the start? Like just like get off and keep going like yeah. No, oh yeah like tried to do the kickoff and he couldn't kick it off. Like it was like keep the fuck, like you know when you're like trying to flick it off and it like literally just would not. um That would have, the cat would have activated its back legs and done the kicking thing, yeah. Yeah, it was like, what are you doing? Get off her or whatever was happening. don't remember, but that was fun. Anyway, other ones actually so funny, but also like so, so mortifying. I know Jared's mum won't listen to this, so it's fine. then one of the other times we, Jared had just had surgery. Actually, this is hilarious. And I'm going to tell you, run this. this is out of all the things, this will be the one that gets me in trouble. He had a, he had a pulmonary cyst on his butt. And I always say it because he doesn't wash enough. So, He, this is again in high school, he had to go have surgery and so then he was like off school, know, what have I and so obviously I was like, well, I'll have to come see you, like everyone's at work. So I went and saw him and we ended up, this was so good, so bad. We ended up having sex on his like family couch, right? So he had young siblings at the time. And so, oh my God. And anyway, we were like butt naked having sex and his mom came home. and how their house laid out as you'd come in and the lounge was this way and then their bedroom was this way. And so we obviously heard the door open and she came in and thank fuck, she went straight to her bedroom obviously to put her shit down. So immediately, and then off the lounge over here is his little sister's bedroom. So I leap off and run into his little sister's bedroom. Here I was throwing my underwear at me, fucking trying to get him to sort of like. Anyway, she comes in. and goes, oh, where's Bea? Jared's like, what do mean? And she's like, where's Bea? And he's like, she's not here. And his mom's like, her car's in the driveway. Jared's like, oh, oh. And I'm like, hi, I'm just in here. And I'd looked around trying to figure out why the fuck I'd be in a sister's room and I found some nail polish and I was just painting my toenails. And so I tried to play it off like super cool. But Jared's like, she's not here. What do you mean? I'm not in the driveway. She's obviously here, Jared. And I'm like, oh, sorry, I just, you know, I was just painting my nails. I was like, oh my God. And to this day, I just always think, imagine if she'd walked straight into the lounge and caught her like, I don't know, were probably like 16, 17, just like banging on the family couch, like at board. She was probably happy that she didn't walk in on whatever she'd missed as well. She would have clocked you guys. I love that you told us the reason why he wasn't at school when it wasn't even necessary to the story. Totally important. Context is key, it adds to it. Alright, when was the first time you really felt like you had great sex and how was it different? Do you know what? I know this is going to be real kiss-ar-fee but like true story, I honestly reckon when I got my Missy Mini. Because like, I'm serious. it. For real. It's not just because you said cry number three. I reckon, like, really consistent. I think it's probably, like, consistently good, right? Because I also think it's really important, like, I don't, I'm very rarely would I orgasm with, like, penetrative sex. So, m yeah, I very rarely will, like, orgasm with that, which I think is, quite common in a lot of people. So getting the Missy Minnie just, changed our sex lives entirely because I know I would orgasm with that. So it went from, like, him just coming. to like knowing, well, if it's not gonna work that way, I know it will work this way. So like genuinely, hands down, I reckon that's when it started being like, like I said, consistently good. Obviously you'd get like, I was still having like good sex before that, way more effort involved when, you know, again, time poor. yeah. How good. That makes me so happy. uh And you're right, only 18 % of people can orgasm from penetration alone. yeah, that's why, yeah. And because no one's really talked about vibrators before, everyone then thinks that there must be something wrong with them as to why, you know, but I should be able to do this like naturally or something like, yeah, of course, but also it might take a while. So you're use. But I think it's just like the normal, normalization around it as well. Like up until that point, you know, you guys, like, you did, it was so, I don't know, like, yeah, taboo is probably the right word, but like, you couldn't easily access, it wasn't accessible, oh my God, I can't talk, it wasn't easily accessible to get something like that, you know? Like you either had to go into like a sex store or you had to like, I don't know, like you guys just made it so accessible as well. And then seeing people talking about it and it being so normal, was like, oh yeah, cool, like this isn't like a, I don't know, it went from being like, oh, you're really into sex toys or like, you you need to like. be having all these different things or like really complicated stuff to like, oh, this is just like a normal thing that is used in the bedroom when you're having sex or being intimate to both enjoy it equally. And that I think was the big shift there. I'm just sitting here speechless because I don't take compliments well at all. I'm just like, I love this. This is great. Oh, no, that makes me so happy. I mean, that's what Girls Get Off is about at the end of the day. And it's thanks to people like you. And that's why I've been your longest and worst-witted man. But it's people like you who are happy to share that with people because people still feel so uncomfortable about it. And that's what allows, you know, gives other people the permission. But they do. You know what? So weird as well. like I said, I do these shows and I genuinely, for the past seven, how long have you guys been operating? Four and a half years. Yeah, so since then. I've been doing the shows for seven, as well as for the last seven years. So literally since then, I think you guys have given us ones to give away and stuff like that. At every show, I talk about me and Missy Minnie. And even when we've given away Missy Minnie's, people are like, oh, no thanks. Like, oh. And I'm like, what? What do you mean? People are so still weird about just like, in general, are still so weird about toys and vibrators and things like that. And I'm like, just fucking take it. What do you mean? Give it to someone. But it's like, oh no. My husband wouldn't like that. It's like, oh, fuck sakes. Like, it's just normalizing it like one person at a time. Like, it's not a big deal. don't, like, trust me, it's not a big deal. And once you introduce it and A, it opens up communication with your partner that you might not be having. B, you'll have great fucking sex. Like, there's only A and B. Like, you're fine. Perfect. Okay. Have you done any... personal work to improve or change your relationship with sex? Oh, I reckon probably, I've probably covered quite a bit of that, but I think like just, um like the personal work's just getting a vibe, a good vibe right now. Amen. I think that just like, yeah, the personal work's just understanding sex more and understanding what I like and learning what I like and. also understanding that I will always come first in our relationship and every aspect of our relationship, including sex. and that's just, you know, once that was introduced into our relationship, into our relationship, it was always in our relationship, into our sex um life, she's castina la tina. I know that we're both gonna get what we need out of it and you know. So that's probably probably the personal growth is just, again, everything goes back to communication, right? Knowing and communicating. um And then just knowing what I like and making sure that that happens instead of just like, you know, a bit of fake noises and, oh my God, yay, you come. think that's such a key point is uh knowing what you like, because there's no way somebody else can know what you like before you know yourself. Yeah. And again, it goes back to that unlearning and not knowing that it could be that good, because you didn't really, I don't think our generation were encouraged or, you know, like we had fucking cosmos and sealed sections with the worst advice in them. like, you just didn't know. uh everything's so easily accessible that you can learn and um yeah, and have personal growth. Amazing. And I guess this one leads on to what we've already been talking about, but what makes you the most confident in the bedroom? um Yeah, probably communication and knowing what I like, but also just like security, I think, and your partner. Like for me, obviously in my situation where I've been married, I've been mutually exclusive with him for a long time. You know, we got out of high school. uh And the security in that is probably like a big factor in that as well. Like I know that there's no judgment on my body after having children or um like there's the love piece. Like this is very like woo woo cliche. But you know, like that does, that is for me and my sex life very important because I would hate to be having sex with my husband that didn't make me feel confident, know? Like, yeah. I'm also just naturally quite confident, so. Haven't picked up on it at all. uh No, go Jared. That's, I think, for any partner just to make you feel like that as well. That's awesome. Safe, appreciated, yeah. Especially at this stage in life, you know? There was a time when I was just fucking at a gray body. and was like in my Brazilian push-up bra. Remember those? Yes, those. You remember that brand with the little lace on the side and they were like ragingly push-up and everyone had that? They real bright and fun. There was a time when like I was just confident because I knew I was like, had this great body. But obviously, know, confidence changes with that and different things make you feel confident. And that's why I do at this point need my husband to make me feel confident as well. And also define great body, Rebecca, you know, like, obviously it's just, it's just not a thing, you know, the cosmos that told you what a great body was is so clearly not a thing when Jared just thinks you're amazing. I just made my birds back when I was two. Yes, I know that feeling. Hey, they've grown some good kids though. Yeah, they have. Yeah, they've grown some good kids. We are at the... testing question stage and the name testing question really freaks me out for some reason. I think it makes it more scary than what it is. But what is the one sexual thought or fantasy or experience that you may have never told anyone about? You may have told Jared, but like you may not have told anyone else. And why have you kept it to yourself? I love this because like, what do you do when people are like, no, not going to do it. I will, don't worry. But like, so fun. We'll have to see on the podcast. It's going to be fascinating. It's not like super exciting. I was talking to my friend about this and she's like, but why would you tell them if you haven't told anyone else? And I was like, well, that's the whole point. It's a podcast and in podcast world, nothing matters. No one else hears this, right? Like, no, a few thousand people. It's like when you're straight in the mirror, if I can't see the back, I don't care if it looks like shit because I can't see it. It's just the same thing. but I reckon probably would be, not like, I guess again, because of the communication. communication thing, I pretty much kind of get what I want in my, you know, sex life. But I reckon I could go with threesome. And I've never told anyone that. Oh, I've definitely, like we've talked about it, I've told Jared that. But like now I've told the world that. I've told that like in between podcast realm where I'm sure no one will listen to that part. Threesome with another guy or another guy or another girl? Girl, definitely girl. Yeah, so I reckon I could. Yeah, but yeah. Who knows if I actually, you know, want to or it's just a fantasy? Do you know what I mean? Like who knows whether it will come into fruition? Provision and I feel like, well, you never know, you might get some offers after this, but uh I feel like that is quite a common one. I feel like it's quite a common one as well. And like I said, whether or not, you know, an opportunity presented and it happens or not. or whether it's a fantasy, like I said, know, I haven't explored it too much, but I've always thought about, yeah, I reckon I could do that. I reckon I could go there. Yeah. Just real peewee, like yeah, I reckon, yeah, nah, I'll give it a go, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, I'm the same. Not that this podcast is about me, it's about you, but. But I like, you know, solidarity in numbers. Like I like to know, you know, if I have to be a youth, yeah. Yeah, but my preference would be a girl as well, like. The thought of two guys is intimidating for me. Yeah, no. you know, like, I feel like if I could go, like, break out with Gero tomorrow and have a guy. So like, like, when else am I going to go try a girl? don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I see the appeal. see the appeal. Yeah. And I also think the thing about fantasies is that you know, you can try it or you can not try it, just because someone has a certain fantasy or you have a thought or you watch them porn, like it doesn't necessarily mean that it's what you want. It's just like curiosity, right? We're all so curious. That's like the fun part of it. That's why men are not, who knows? Who knows? So good. Love it. Thank you so much, Rebecca, for sharing so much with us. uh I think people are going to get just as much out of this as we did. And, you know, just to reiterate the reason we're doing this and Previously we've interviewed so many people on the Girls Get Off podcast who have been in the sex industry, you know, they're really in this space, but the power of talking to people who have different backgrounds, lifestyles, uh you know, they have one toy, they have no toys, they have a million toys, is that we realize the more we talk about it, the more normal it can become and then therefore the better sex people can have if they're not so freaked out about it. Well thanks so much for coming on Rebecca and if you've enjoyed listening today make sure you follow us wherever you're listening to your podcasts you can check us out at girlsgetoff on Instagram girlsgetoffonscensored is our Facebook group and if you would like to get in touch with us jellylegsatgirlsgetoff.com and more importantly if you'd like to follow them with Rebecca she is Rebecca Rebecca J Kyle on Instagram K E I L correct and where else can they find you Rebecca? That's mainly where I hang out. I'm on the TikTok, but I'm a bit too much of a geriatric for that. you know. Awesome. Well, thanks again and we'll see you next week. Thanks for having me.