Confessions of Rhythm and Vines

Oh You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast in all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self loving, sex, orgasms and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the Mastination? Let's get into it. 

Hello and welcome back to the Girls Get Off podcast, first podcast for 2024 and it's a special one, Live Confessions at R&V. Yay! I'm so excited for this because we've recorded this, I mean today's the 12th of Jan and we recorded this at Rhythm on the 29th of December so it's been a hot minute since we recorded and I cannot wait to release this. Yeah, I had a listen the other day and I... I always feel like I need to apologize for my cackle, but it was loud, it was funny, it was great, we had people joining in. So yeah, we're going to take it a step back first though, and paint the picture of us getting to Rhythm to do this. Yeah, and for those who don't know what Rhythm & Vines is, so Rhythm & Vines is probably, well, it is like the longest standing New Year's festival in New Zealand, so it was actually the 21st year that it was happening. last year, so that was pretty exciting for them. And I think it's sort of like a rite of passage in New Zealand, like there's not many young Kiwis who haven't grown up in New Zealand and not been to Rhythm and Vines. In fact, now I speak to people, I literally ran into someone at work the other day and he was like, oh yeah, I went to Rhythm again. Like it's almost a running joke that people go, oh, one more time, one more time, one more time, you know? That was his ninth year and that's not the only person I've heard of that's had... like that many times in a row or has been that many times, I feel like, yeah, it's just a fun time. And even though there's lots of like young people, like there's plenty of people fresh out of uni, and there was certainly not as many people I knew when I'd look around the place as in previous years, but I feel like there's still heaps of people that are similar age and there's a whole range of ages and also people that come out of the woodwork. Like we saw like my friend Morgan at the Portaloos and then I saw someone else. at another bar, so it's just like a constant stream of seeing people. Yeah. It was my first time though. It was your first festival. I know. Don't ask me where my twenties and thirties have gone, but I was not at festivals. You were having babies. Yeah. But still could have, I think cause this one was always like for the past five years, I've known a whole group of people that are going there. Yeah. But it's always between the Christmas, New Year's, we're family stuff. Not a good time for the moms. Yeah. But no, so stoked to have an excuse to go this year. And it was epic. So good. Do you know, and I spoke to someone recently again, I'm an Aussie again, and a friend over here who's a DJ here, she was like, I've heard from performers that it's just the best. And I'm like. I just thought it was fun because it's, you know, you know, so many people and, you know, rhythm is rhythm, but it just goes to show that it's not just the Kiwi punters that think that way. It's also the artists and, you know, word travels far about the experience. I don't know what it is. I think it just, I mean, it's always such a trick to get to Gizzy anyway. And then you're there to sort of enjoy it and it's fun. Yeah. Go Hamish and the others that all put it together. It was so great. And it's like the whole town of Gizzy gets hired for it. It's so funny. Hey, like I've seen like things on TikTok of like security guards on like horses trying to stop people from like jumping the fence. So it is, hey, it is the whole town gets hired. It's so funny. Yeah. And like all the taxi drivers, like we had a couple of taxi drivers and She was telling us about how people come from like out of town just to provide rides and stuff. It's a full thing. There must be over 30,000 people that go, I think. Yeah. Shout out to that lady, that taxi driver in the morning though, like 6 AM. I rang out to get a taxi and she legit thought that I was ringing from someone else's motel room that I was just needing to escape. She was great. She was great and stopped into the bakery, found a bakery that was open for us to get a pie and- Spring roll for Bricky. Yeah, anyway, so I thought that, yeah, seeing as we're winding it back, I mean, I think I woke up on the boxing day, maybe 26th, 7th of December, and I was genuinely like, wow, I'm losing my voice. So I just decided like Christmas day, I was like, I'm going to focus on the drinking. I found a group of friends and we just had like- such a boozy day and I think it was one of those things where you finally go on holiday and your body's just like, oh, thank God. And then you just end up getting sick. And so a couple of days out from the podcast and I was like, A, I'm losing my voice. And I was like, and B, I'm quite, quite head coldy and like sore throaty and everything. And I'm like, I'd have to be in hospital not to make it to Rhythm, to be honest. I was like, watch me take all these cold and flu tablets, nasal spray and send me on my way. You had a lot of nasal decongestion stuff in you to be able to talk properly. That was so funny. And my voice sounds so deep as well. Oh, that's nice. We love a husky voice. And then on the way down, we left some little surprises. So it's been a while since we, I mean, it's been a couple of months since we've been in person together, let alone gone to road trips. So we thought we'd make a bit of fun out of it. And the drive to Gizzy from Tauranga, where we are is, what is it, like four hours? Just over, I don't know. Yeah, just over I think. Decent drive. And yeah, then we had the brainwave that, oh, we should hide some vibes somewhere. And we had one at the clock in Gizzy on like the main street and it got picked up pretty quickly. And I only just saw the DM from the people who picked it up. They'd sent us like a photo. It was so cool, but it was in those hidden requests on Instagram and it's a little bit glitchy. So I didn't see it until like two days ago. Yeah, bugger. They honestly got it within a few minutes because we walked just around to the other side and we thought we're just going to sit at this cafe to get it on camera when somebody gets it. And by the time we just got to the cafe turned around and they're waving it in the air. Somebody got it. They got it. Oh my God. That was so good. And I wish, like, oh, this is always the way, hey, I remember we were at your house and I just thought, oh, I'll flick some vibes in like, we'll obviously give them away. And I thought, oh, I'll just put, you know, some little pollies in it. I don't want people to carry around big. things and handbags and stuff so they can actually take them home. And just didn't even think, I just thought, oh, we just don't want to take, like we don't want to overdo it. And I just didn't even think of hiding things on the way. Like, oh my gosh, we could have hidden so many, like a portakie and stuff. That would have been so good. Hey. Yeah, but no, and now it's in our brain. So we will start doing that, I think. We did still find a way to give vibes out to people. We came back with the... Share notes and messages like from just send us your address, just here. Here's our phone, put your address in. Like anytime somebody did anything that was like good vibes. Yeah. We're just lighting up the world. Honestly, if you want a free vibrator, forget Instagram competitions, find us when we're out in the piss and there's a high chance that if we're offering some value, we'll, we'll exchange or we'll try and bribe our way into doing things. Like, did you bribe someone for a phone charge or something? I mean, you probably could have just asked as well, but it helps, doesn't it? I know. Yeah, no, my phone had gone flat and I couldn't find you. And I was like, I'll give you a vibrator if you let me use your phone charger. And it's also, there's also like no context to that statement. You know what I mean? People are just like, what is going on? Like if someone said that to you, you'd be like, well, probably won't give you my phone charger, you know? Yeah. All my details. Yeah. Send me your address. I need your address. So funny. Yeah. But no, also a couple in front of me, like two people went into the Portaloo and I was like, Oh, here we go. For sure. That's like Portaloo sex going down. I'm busting right now. I'm going to be waiting ages. Wait till you listen to the confessions. It'll all make sense. Yeah. And it like the dude came out and I was like, like in what seemed like less than a minute. And I'm like, oh, that was so quick. Like I was the most stoked person that yeah, anyway, started a conversation with him, got the address for his, and it's just sent him a vibe right off the bat and quickened the whole. And they sent us such a nice message the other day. Can we also talk about how you had not experienced Portalou's at a festival before? That was the funniest thing. So we were on stage at four o'clock and then afterwards we went straight to see Sin Play, you know, the DJ from Georgia Femme. So we walked over to another stage, we were going to sell a stage, and on the way there's that row of Portaloos, and I was like, I'm just gonna pop them to the loo. And there's like no people around at this time, like there's no lines, it's all in. Jo goes into one, goes out, she's like, there's poo in there! And then like goes into another one, and our friend Mason, or we call him Tree, him and I looked at each other and I was like, Jo, I hate to break it to you, but that is what, that's the reality that we're working with here, and in a moment, give it a couple of hours, and it is going to be packed. You're just gonna have to back yourself in backwards and do your business because you went into like three different toilets. I was like, uh, oh, poo. That is not going to work. Yeah. Well, it's just like an open thing. But I was just like, how do you even relax enough to get poo out in that situation? Might be an emergency. These people have probably already been drinking the night before, so they've already thrown their bowel movements out. Wow. Yeah, no. I did like halfway through the night though, I found a Portalu, thank you with no poo. It was probably just buried, let's be honest. But that was definitely the upside of being in the vintage club, which is that if you pay a little bit extra for your tickets, you get into the IP section and there's no poo. Wow, they've got like, they've got some like kind of flushing toilets and then they've also got Portaloos that have little flaps on them so you can't see. Well, yeah. I didn't realize there were such thing as Portaloos without the flaps. Like I've only ever experienced Portaloos with the flaps. I reckon they're just getting as many Portaloos as they can in there and they are not dressing that experience up whatsoever. Yeah. Oh man. So wild. All right. I will be prepared next time. And we also, it's so funny. Also the other thing that we do when we often go out is we end up group messaging our accountants. And it's such a random thing that we do, but we love Luke and Phil and any opportunity we can get, like, I don't even know what we ended up messaging them, but there's always some kind of excuse, whether it's like, Joe is like taking a video of me, like talking to some guy and she's like, encourage this, you know? Or like, then we decided to put on our stories, like, well, let's do, is this an expense or is this not? And had people vote like total piss take. bless the people who did DM us and say, that's only 50% deductible or something because of your offsite or something like that. But it was so funny. So good. I'm glad everyone was on our side about expensing everything as well, because I can tell you for sure, I'll be, well, I don't even do the books anymore, but it'll be, say, Ruth, put it through. It's all entertainment. Well, we were there for work. It's advertising. Surely. Yeah, but shout out to Luke and Phil, next advisory. Thank you for putting up with us. So funny. Like, I, cause I don't even think to do it when I'm not with you. And then every time we drink together, hey, it's like, I just feel like there's like, we've had some like nights out with them at the Caracas million and things like that. And I feel like there's personal jokes running and all the rest of it. And there's, it just always seems to be an opportunity to message our accountants when we're out in the piss together. Not strange at all. I love it. Cool. Yeah. And then icing on the cake was there obviously Dom Dollarplate, who's just my bloody favorite. So it was just such an all round great night and doesn't take me much convincing to make my way back to Rhythm and Mindset for sure. Yeah. We just worked it out before this podcast. I think we drove nine hours to be there for eight hours. Yeah. We were there for... So was it. So worth it. Love it. All right, well, we'll play the recorded episode now. You're in for a laugh. It was actually such a good vibe when we were there. And yeah, there's some pretty funny stories. Oh, that was the last thing, was that I did have a moment when we were recording the podcast. What we did was we invited people up to share some confessions if they would like to win a vibrator. And as the first person started walking up onto stage, we were sort of like, woohoo! As this first person's walking up onto stage, I had this moment where I... remembered a conversation I'd had previously with a friend who worked in radio saying like live callers can always be a little bit roll the dice and you like as a producer you got to talk to them and like figure out what they're gonna say and kind of like if there's interesting points of their story you get them to play that up and All the rest of it and as this person walked up on stage, I thought this could be the worst idea we've ever had. Like we literally, we've got a little crowd there, we're recording it. I was like, I have no idea what's gonna come out of this person's mouth. And it happened, and we had like three people come up and I was just like, oh my gosh, what is gonna go on? What is gonna happen? Yeah, and I think the last one was the scariest. I was like, this one is just... But they were all great. They were all so great. It was such a good vibe. And yeah, we hope you enjoy it. So fun. Yep, enjoy. Yay. Amazing. Wow, welcome to the Girls Get Off podcast. This is our first ever live recording. How good. And when Allie rang me ago, she said, is four o'clock okay instead of six o'clock? And I said, absolutely, because that means there's more time to prep for Dom Dollar later. You know? How good. Exactly. Amazing. So we'll give you a bit of background on what girls get off as if you're not already aware. So we're a female-focused sexual wellness brand. So we're out there for the girls. Yeah. And we're actually gonna do some live demos later. So you're in for a treat. No kidding. But one of the things that we do on our Instagram account is... The guys in the front row have gone. We've just lost two of our punters. Yeah, woo! The keenest two. Well, have a little perch, eh? Yeah. So if you don't follow Girls Get Off already, every Sunday since we've begun, we've... Ha ha ha! Amazing. So we have a segment every Sunday, it's called Sunday Confessions. People write in and tell us what all the naughty things that they've been up to on the weekend. Yes, you will be able to. Yeah, we've actually got some prizes here today. So if anyone wants to come up and share a confession live, we've got some treats in it for you. And boys, I've also got some booty plugs on hand as well, so you won't miss out either. And so what we've done for this podcast is we've asked our audience and our friends for submissions about confessions from R&V or festivals in general. So we've got some rogue, funny, sexual mixture of things to talk about. Yeah, we've got a good mix in the end. Some of them are a little bit... Not just sex in the portal. And if we've got time, we might share some other confessions, but we've probably got enough. from the festival scene. Yeah, yeah, amazing. All right, I might kick off the first one. Not at RMV, but got caught out with my legs in the air in a Portaloo getting pounded. Yeah, wow. Remember to lock the door. Always lock the door. I reckon... I'll try anything twice, but I just don't know if you'd get me to have sex in a portaloos, you know? I think it's just a bit full on for me. I know, desperate times though, desperate measures. I've got one here. Had sex with my boyfriend in a tent and realised halfway through that the tent wasn't ours. Carried on anyway. So good. Love that. We've got our fans back at the front. another Portalu story. This one surprises me, I think, got pegged in the Portalu. So that... bringing a strap on through your luggage that gets searched to get in here. Yeah. Not sure about that one. Yeah, you need equipment. Okay, I don't know if these drinks are on the menu at R&B. They better not be, otherwise it'd be a bit raucous. But this one's from 2014. So it was 2014 R&B and we'd done the five day option, full BYO at B-Dub Canc rounds, year of the riots, et cetera. I drank purple Gs for most of the festival and not much else. I hadn't made a bowel movement for a few days and so when day five rolled around I finally pooed and it was Hulk Green and radioactive looking. And I have to say this is actually one of my friends who sent me this and he also sent me a picture of the poo. And it was the worst thing I've ever looked at. Show us the poo. She's got the poo. You can see the poo. Oh this is so bad. I actually can't, I can't even look at it. It's... That's enough, Rania. You'll never eat pesto again. Oh, yuck. It's so bad. Oh, yuck. My next one was also a poo confession, and I'm going to skip it because that's just too much right now. All right. Gave the gave a guy a hand job in the crowd at DMB 10. Wow. Yeah. Good skills. Ten year friendship ended because she ditched me the whole of R&B for a guy she barely knew. Bad behaviour. Yeah. Perfect. We peed in cups and tipped them outside our tents so we didn't have to get out. Excuse me. Yeah, pretty smart I think, hey. Smart. I had a chick piss down my leg in the mosh in 2011. I love it. I love that these people are remembering the years that it happened as well. That's obviously so notable. Just great. Okay. My sister, new to things up noses, sniffed a whole bag of speed instead of a line. Oh. We also didn't get many guidelines as to what we were allowed to talk about in these confessions and we thought, mate, is that going to be a little bit too far? And we're just going to say it anyway, it's only four o'clock, it'll be alright. Shall we have a break? Does anyone want to come and share a confession? Yeah, come on, alright. I've got a lot of prizes today and we're called Girls Get Off, but like I said, we've got some booty plugs on stage as well, so... And lube. We've got treats for everyone, and lube. Come up here, we've got a headset for you. Alright. I'm so happy someone actually wanted to share a confession with us because sometimes people are a little bit... Alright. Oh that's okay. That's okay. They haven't given us guidelines so they might next time. We won't yukkoyum. Yep. Nothing... No shame around here. No shame. I got with the guy and I needed to do a booze poo so... Went out on his lawn the next morning. Is this an algorithm? Was it just in general? Just in general. Went out on his lawn, did a booze poos, cool, whatever. On the lawn? Back inside, on the lawn. And woke up the next morning and his flatmate went, yo, look at this big ass poo that this dog did. It was my poo. The man that I was sleeping with had a look at it and went. No shaving! Look at this poo. And I was like... Wow. And my head... Congrats. It was me! But you got away with it. Yeah, I got a taxi... Oh, happy days! I got a taxi about two hours after and never talked to the man again. Amazing. Well done. Yeah, hold on. I've got a vibe for you. I just can't walk around the stage. They're just down there. Here we go. Would you like booty plugs or a vibe? Have you got a... Polly or a missy? Yeah. Polly or a missy? Is anyone else up for sharing a confession? A what? A vibe? Yeah. Which one? Go Messi. You don't have Messi? No, take one of those. Amazing. That's a bestseller. Alright, any other? For a booty pluck? Okay, perfect. Come on, come and share a confession. Perfect. Oh, we've just got a bit of a helicopter going overhead. All right. OK. I think you're our first guy to ever share a confession because we don't usually post guys confessions. Well done. Amazing. OK, blow us away. Now is it a festival specific confession or have we gone broad? Well I thought I'd do festival because we're at a festival so... Tis the season. This was last year actually. So I don't know, probably only males know but they've got those urinal troughs out there. That's weird. It's like a four man urinal trough. And last year I thought it'd be quite funny. Well I took fucking shit in one. Can we have a confession that's your little poo? Phantom shitter. And how did it go? Were there three other people there while you did it? No, no, he was there. He was there. He's got video evidence but we're not fucking putting that one out. So would you like some lube or would you like a booty plug so that doesn't happen again? No, booty plugs. Booty plugs. Here we go. Booty plugs. There you go. They're all yours. All right, who's next? This is great. How good? We've got vibes up for grabs. No, we'll keep going. All right. If at any stage someone has some inspiration, feel free to come up because we've got a few treats in the bag. Rightio. So the next one that got sent in, both R&Vs I've ended up with my ex in the tent and my friends never found out. Ooh. Yeah. Okay, all right. So a friend of mine got red carded slash banned for life. Again, we weren't sure what the guidelines were with what we could say, but we're going ahead with it anyway. So a friend of mine got red carded slash banned for life at RMV for climbing a tree out of his mind with a full box of beers and then proceeded to yell like a monkey, throwing full cans at people. And I think you knocked someone out, ha ha. That's so good. Anyway, that's a what not to do. I'm sure they will get the next people guidelines. Yeah. Um, all right. Another poo one. Um, we thought we would get more sex confessions than poo confessions. Yeah. We did not. It's because I put. Um. Not me, but a workmate shat himself seven times in the three days of R&V. He needs to go to the pharmacy and get some no-dial or something. Right? Wow. Not a good friend to have. This one's a bit of a long one. Okay. R&V confession. A few years back, I ended up bumping into my ex at R&V and on New Year's night, we had a, we'd done the countdown and I kissed a stranger in the crowd. We ended up meeting up anyway. I was... of course under the influence and stupidly wandered over to his tent after the you up text. All of his mates were camped out on chairs by the tents and I said my awkward hi it's me again to them and climbed into the tent. We got onto the double air bed and started intensely hooking up as we know ex sex is some of the best sex. Sorry I went to scroll and that is not on Instagram. Uh, things were getting hot and heavy and I was on top of him and I looked down to the bed and saw his best friend laying on the air bed asleep. Continued to do my thing. And oh goodness, is it one of the best nights of my life. Ha ha. Then once we were done, his friend woke up and was like, whoa, what are you doing here? His friend still claims he had no clue what was going on. We ended up taking a selfie to commemorate the threesome that could have been, and then we all had a spoon cuddle as it was a bit of a squeeze, and in the morning I did the awkward goodbye to the both of them. And then they actually sent me a photo of the three of them, which I thought was a nice touch, but obviously you're not gonna share that. So this girl discreetly had sex in a muddy paddock beside R&V. Turns out her back was covered in mud for the rest of the night and it was not as discreet as she thought. Wow. Not good. Not good. And okay. Another vibe to give away is anybody here going to admit to Portaloo Six? Because I think it is the number one confession in there. Anyone? A little bit. You got a half. Come and tell us the story. Come on, come and tell us the story. Go on. We've got more headsets here for a reason. Here we go. Yeah, well, we'll hear all about it so it's recorded. How's it going? What's your name? My name's Michael. Michael, lovely to meet you Michael. We didn't even introduce ourselves. Oh, yeah, cool. I'm Viv, this is Jo. Alright Michael, take it away. So basically in my youth, I must have been 18, and my missus was the same age as... oh she was 17 at the time. We were in school. Oh, so you were saying you were at Rhythm? Nah, we decided we'd meet up at lunch. We kind of already knew what was going to go down, but we didn't know how we were going to do it. So back in Blenheim we got this park called Pullard Park. So we go down to the park and we're scoping it out, like, fuck, how are we gonna do this? And we found a public restroom. We're like, oh, this'll do. So we stroll over to the restroom. Stop, first time. And we get there and there's the toilet here and a playground and there's a child's birthday party happening right here. Perfect, perfect. And I look at my missus, I look at her, babe, we're gonna do this, like, this feels wrong. And she's like, fuck, yeah, she was ready to go, so. I got her in the toilet and sat her on the sink. We were looking at the toilet but it was just too low, there was no chance. So I put her on the sink and honestly I've never worked out my calves so hard. I burnt my calves out drilling her and it was honestly the biggest walk of shame. Opening up that door, me and her walked out and all these parents are just standing there disgusted. It was no good. Surely in Blenheim you would have known one of them? Yeah, well I feel like it's just a local thing, you know? How do you... Everyone knows it. The public toilet sex? Yeah. Oh wow. What do you think? It was nuts. I honestly reckon that Portloo would have been so much better. At least we could have both sat down, but... Wow. Yeah, it was a shit show. That's wild. Anyway, good story. Would you like some lube? Thank you. I'd love some lube. Oh shit. Oh god. Oh, it's good. Amazing. Enjoy. Wow. Love that. We've had a whole range of confessions. I know. Do you have any more? Mine? I've got a couple more. I've got my confession for R&B. Put up a tent on the 28th. Didn't sleep in that tent one night the entire festival. Did I already say that or not? No? OK, there you go. Nice. And then I think I had one more. I am just looking, except I don't think my phone's got enough battery to do it, to see if any last minute ones have come in. I've got one more here and it is much the same. So, again. Okay, arrived day one and it arrived separately from my boyfriend. Arrived, I was on form and I think because of the good weather, excitement and general vibes, I was super horny. So I dragged him into a port-au-l'oeuf again, initially to Pash and probably P and then one thing led to another and we were both kind of like, this is gross but whatever. And she said then our friends were banging on the door telling us to hurry up and that it was disgusting and gross and made us use hand sanitiser on the way out. Good friends. Great friends. Do you know the last one that I've got that I didn't share is lost my virginity in the tent at Parachute, a Christian festival. That one's just great. Absolutely. I also had one more here. My sister and her friends had a thing where they would, also this is, anyway. We're not, we're. We're saying more rogue things than we normally would on our stories because normally we get feedback about things being gross. I found out recently that my sister and her friend had a thing where they would put a tampon in for a festival no matter what week of the month it was. So halfway through the day or evening they could pull it out and feel fresh. Hectic. Anyway, has anyone else got a confession they want to share? Someone's got to have something better than that. Yeah. We've got more vibes to give away here. Has anyone else had sex in a portalo? Just any other hands up. Perfect. You get a vibe. Great. Oh shit. I'm a bad throw. Amazing. Cool. All right. That's about it. Unless someone wants to share some more stories. No. That probably would have happened if we started at 6 o'clock, but 4 o'clock I think we've done quite well for sharing. Amazing, well thanks for having us, and have a great festival. Woo! Amazing. Come here on the first. Yeah, we will. See you at Dom Dollar. Thanks for listening to the podcast. If you've enjoyed the podcast today, feel free to leave us a review, we would love it. Any of our products that you've heard about on here or anywhere else are available at girlsgetoff.com. Our Instagram is girlsgetoff and Facebook group, Girls Get Off Uncensored for all the juicy girls only gossip. We've actually got some very exciting news before you go. We have a new toy coming out. So this one is set to release within the next couple of weeks. So keep an eye on our Instagram for more information. And remember that Valentine's Day is coming up in about a month's time. So make sure you send your wishlist to your partner for Valentine's Day or treat yourself to something new.