The Modern Mastie: Why More Women Are Saying Yes to Toys

Let’s be honest. For way too long, female masturbation has been treated like a suspicious little secret. Men could joke about it, sing about it, and practically build entire movie plots around it, but women? We were expected to sit there looking mysterious, moisturised, and apparently not at all curious about our own bodies.

Cute idea. Terrible reality.

The modern mastie is here, and she is not hiding under the duvet in shame. She is busy, self-aware, curious, emotionally intelligent, and very much allowed to know what gets her off. Whether it’s a five-minute stress release, a slow Sunday explore, or a “do not disturb unless the house is on fire” kind of night, more women are saying yes to toys because pleasure is not embarrassing. It’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s fun. And yes, it can absolutely be part of a luxury self-care ritual.

Because if face masks, oat milk lattes, LED lamps, and hot girl walks all count as wellness, then your vibrator deserves a seat at the self-care table too.

So, why are more women using toys?

Because women are finally giving themselves permission.

Using a toy is not about being “desperate”, “too much”, “not satisfied”, or any of the weird little myths that somehow survived into modern life like cockroaches in lingerie. It is about exploration, confidence, and learning what actually feels good for your body.

A nationally representative study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 52.5% of women aged 18 to 60 had used a vibrator. That means vibrator use is not some rare, scandalous activity happening in a secret underground club. It is common, normal, and more mainstream than most people realise.  

The real shift is not just that women are using toys. It is that women are talking about them differently. Not as something dirty. Not as something shameful. Not as a last resort. More like skincare for your nervous system, but with better sound effects.

Bzz. Ahh. Thank you, next.

Are toys replacing partners?

No babe, and we need to retire this tired little myth immediately.

A toy is not a replacement for intimacy, connection, flirting, kissing, cuddling, or the chaos of someone asking “is this good?” three seconds after changing the rhythm completely. Toys are tools. They can be used solo, with a partner, during foreplay, after a long day, in the shower, in bed, or whenever your body says, “Excuse me, I would like some attention.”

At Girls Get Off, the focus has never been about toys being “better than sex”. The focus is women taking responsibility for their own pleasure, learning what works for them, and feeling confident enough to communicate that with a partner if they want to. That aligns directly with the GGO brand purpose: helping women feel confident in pleasure, feel empowered to explore what they like, and talk about it without shame.

A vibrator does not compete with a partner. It gives you information. It helps you understand pressure, rhythm, speed, sensation, and what makes your Queen V send a strongly worded thank-you note.

And honestly, knowing your own body is hot. Confident communication? Even hotter.

What if I’ve never used one before?

Then welcome, gorgeous. There is no exam, no complicated membership card, and absolutely no need to act like you know what every setting does.

Being toy-curious is completely normal. In fact, a lot of women start exactly there: curious, a little nervous, maybe mildly overwhelmed by the options, and unsure whether they are about to buy a toy or accidentally order a small spaceship.

The easiest way to begin is to keep it simple.

Start with:

• A toy that feels unintimidating

• A low setting

• No pressure to orgasm

• Plenty of time

• A little lube if needed

• A clean, comfy space where you feel relaxed

You do not need to perform. You do not need to rush. You do not need to recreate a scene from a steamy romance novel where everyone somehow has perfect lighting and zero back pain.

You are allowed to explore slowly. Try different spots. Adjust the pressure. Take breaks. Laugh if it feels awkward. Pleasure does not need to be serious to be meaningful.

Why does using toys feel empowering?

Because pleasure becomes something you participate in, not something you wait around hoping will happen.

A lot of women have grown up with messaging that made their pleasure feel secondary, confusing, or even selfish. Toys help flip that narrative. They make pleasure feel like something you can explore on your own terms, in your own time, and at your own pace.

That matters because self-pleasure can build body confidence. It can help you understand your own responses. It can make it easier to explain what you like. It can also reduce the pressure around sex, because your orgasm is no longer treated like a mysterious treasure map that someone else is supposed to decode with no instructions.

When you know what works for you, you stop feeling like your body is “too difficult”. You start realising your body just needed the right attention.

That is not indulgent. That is empowering.

What are women actually using toys for?

Not every toy session has to be candles, satin sheets, and a dramatic playlist called “Goddess Era”. Sometimes it is that. Sometimes it is 9:47pm, you have moisturiser on one leg, three unread texts, and ten minutes before you fall asleep.

Both count.

Here’s how toys can fit into real life, let me introduce you to the real-life pleasure menu:

But isn’t masturbation still taboo?

It is becoming less taboo, but let’s not pretend the stigma has fully packed its bags and left the group chat.

Female masturbation has often been treated as either a joke, a secret, or something only discussed in hushed tones after two wines and a “can I ask you something weird?” opener. But there is nothing weird about wanting to understand your own body.

A 2019 qualitative study on vibrator use found that women often described vibrators as both a source of pleasure and something surrounded by shame or taboo. The study also noted that cost, fear of being found out, and not knowing much about toys or their own bodies could hold people back from buying one.  

That is exactly why normalising matters.

When we talk about toys in a way that feels friendly, funny, and shame-free, we make it easier for women to ask questions, try things, and stop feeling like pleasure is something they need to apologise for.

Because really, why should female pleasure be treated like a scandal?

It should be treated like what it is: normal, personal, and very much allowed.

What makes a toy feel less intimidating?

The best toy is not always the biggest, loudest, most complicated thing with seventeen settings and a button layout that requires a pilot’s licence.

For many women, the best toy is the one that feels easy to use, beautiful to hold, quiet enough for real life, and designed with women’s bodies in mind. It should feel like something you want to reach for, not something that makes you panic and whisper, “What does this button do?”

GGO toys are designed to feel approachable, not seedy. The brand tone is intentionally more “skincare ad with a sense of humour” than “weird husky voice in a dark corner of the internet”. That matters, because normalising female pleasure is not just about the toy itself. It is also about the experience around it.

The packaging. The language. The quality. The care. The way it makes you feel before you even turn it on.

Luxury is not just about looking pretty. It is about feeling safe, considered, and confident.

Is there a “right” way to use a toy?

Nope. Your body is not a customer service script.

There are good safety basics, of course. Clean your toy before and after use. Use water-based lube with silicone toys. Start low and slow. Do not use toys internally unless they are designed for that purpose. For anal play, use toys with a flared base. And if something feels painful, stop.

But beyond that? Your pleasure is yours.

Some women love direct clitoral stimulation. Some prefer pressure around the area instead. Some love internal toys. Some like suction. Some like rumbly wand-style vibrations. Some like a mix. Some need five minutes. Some want a full evening of “do not perceive me unless you are delivering snacks”.

There is no universal script, because there is no universal body.

What if I feel awkward buying one?

That is so normal. Especially if you grew up with the idea that women’s pleasure was something to be private, hidden, or whispered about like a family scandal involving a casserole dish.

But buying a toy does not mean anything bad about you. It does not mean you are lonely. It does not mean your relationship is failing. It does not mean you are “too sexual”. It means you are a grown woman who is allowed to own something that makes her feel good.

That’s it.

And if you are worried about privacy, brands like Girls Get Off understand that discretion matters. GGO products arrive in plain packaging, with discreet sender information, because empowerment does not mean your courier needs to know your plans for Friday night.

Your business is your business. Your jelly legs are optional evidence.

Where do women sex toys fit into modern self-care?

Right between “I deserve rest” and “I am done pretending pleasure is embarrassing”.

For a long time, self-care has been packaged as everything except sexual pleasure. Bubble baths? Fine. Skincare? Gorgeous. Pilates? Inspirational. A $78 candle named after a feeling? Apparently essential.

But a toy that helps you relax, learn your body, feel more confident, and reconnect with pleasure? Suddenly people get weird.

Let’s be consistent, shall we?

Women sex toys can be part of a self-care routine because pleasure is connected to confidence, stress relief, body awareness, and emotional wellbeing. They are not the whole story, but they can be a really lovely part of it.

And unlike a face mask, they are far less likely to drip clay onto your dressing gown.

How do you introduce toys into partnered play?

Gently, casually, and without making it sound like a performance review.

You do not need to sit your partner down with a PowerPoint titled “Areas for Improvement”. Toys can be introduced in a fun, collaborative way. Try framing it as something you want to explore together, not something they are failing to provide.

You could say:

• “I thought this could be fun for us to try.”

• “I’ve been learning more about what I like, and I want to include you.”

• “This feels really good for me, and I’d love to use it together.”

• “No pressure, but I think this could make things even better.”

The goal is not to replace anyone. The goal is to make pleasure easier, more playful, and more honest.

And if someone feels threatened by a rechargeable silicone object, that probably says more about the emotional range of the room than it does about the toy.

Respectfully. Mostly.

What should you look for in your first toy?

Think comfort, quality, and ease.

A good toy should feel approachable, body-safe, and suited to your actual lifestyle. If you share a house, you might care about quietness. If you’re nervous, you might want something small and simple. If you already know you love intensity, you might want something more powerful or dual-action.

Here’s a quick guide:

The modern mastie is not shameful

She is curious. She is confident. She is allowed to learn.

She might be using a toy because she wants better orgasms. She might be using one because she is reconnecting with her body after stress, a breakup, burnout, or a libido shift. She might be using one with a partner. She might be using one because she simply felt like it. No deep explanation required.

The point is this: women do not need to justify pleasure.

Using toys is not dirty. It is not desperate. It is not weird. It is not something that needs to be hidden under layers of shame and a suspiciously placed towel.

It is modern. It is normal. It is personal. It is powerful.

And if your toy also happens to be cute, quiet, waterproof, rechargeable, and capable of making your legs forget their job?

Well. That’s just excellent planning.

Final thoughts

More women are saying yes to toys because more women are saying yes to themselves.

Yes to curiosity. Yes to confidence. Yes to better communication. Yes to pleasure without apology. Yes to finding out what works instead of waiting for someone else to guess.

The modern mastie is not a taboo. She is a tiny revolution with a magnetic charger.

And babe, she is fully charged.

References

Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Sanders, S., Dodge, B., Ghassemi, A., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2009). Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women in the United States: Results from a nationally representative study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6(7), 1857-1866.

Davis, S. N. (2019). “Best invention, second to the dishwasher”: Vibrators and sexual pleasure. Sexualities, 22(7-8), 1237-1256.