How to Move During Sex: 8 Thrusting Techniques to Try Tonight

Jackhammering is out. Technique is in.

We asked our Girls Get Off community a brutally honest question:

“Have you ever wished your partner would change the rhythm during sex but didn’t say anything?”

Out of the 2047 people surveyed, 83% of you admitted you have.

So if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “A little slower… stay there… don’t speed up now…” while keeping those thoughts to yourself, welcome to the club.

Here’s the secret about how to move during sex: it isn’t about going faster, lasting longer or trying every position in the Kama Sutra. It’s about rhythm, depth and angle.

Researchers have even identified four specific techniques women say make penetration more pleasurable: angling, rocking, shallowing and pairing. Add in the famous Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), an ancient Taoist rhythm trick and a few simple tempo changes, and you’ve got yourself a whole new playbook.

First, forget what porn taught you

You know the move. Fast. Hard. Constant.

Porn has convinced generations that great sex looks like someone trying to break the bed frame. Here’s the thing: porn is entertainment, not education. That frantic, piston-speed thrusting is designed to look dramatic on camera, not necessarily feel incredible for the person receiving it.

In real bedrooms, most vulva owners need clitoral stimulation and a rhythm they can actually settle into. The people who create unforgettable sex usually aren’t the fastest. They’re the ones who know when to slow down, change the angle, hold still or keep doing exactly what’s working.

The best part?

Every single one of those skills can be learned.

“Everyone talks about trying new positions, but we don’t talk nearly enough about rhythm. Sometimes the smallest changes - slowing down, changing the angle or staying in the moment a little longer - can completely change how sex feels. It’s one of the easiest ways to make good sex feel even better.”

- Viv Conway, Co-founder of Girls Get Off

The four moves researchers actually named

In 2021, researchers from Indiana University School of Medicine partnered with OMGYES to survey 3,017 women aged 18 to 93 about what actually makes vaginal penetration feel better.

Instead of vague advice like “communicate more”, they identified four specific techniques that women consistently said increased pleasure.

Before we jump in though, one golden rule.

Use lube.

Every technique on this list feels better when there’s less friction and more glide.

1. Shallowing (83.8%)

Despite what movies would have you believe, deeper isn’t always better.

Shallowing focuses on teasing the entrance of the vagina using short, gentle strokes with just the tip of a penis, finger or toy.

Why?

Because the vaginal entrance contains a huge concentration of nerve endings. Rather than rushing straight to deep penetration, staying near the entrance can build anticipation while delivering incredibly intense sensation. Think of it as slow-burning tension instead of skipping straight to the finale.

2. Angling (87.5%)

Sometimes the tiniest movement changes everything.

Angling simply means changing where pressure lands inside the body by tilting the hips.

Try:

placing a pillow underneath the hips
bringing knees closer to the chest
lowering the pelvis
rotating the hips slightly

A change of only a few centimetres can suddenly hit an area that felt impossible to reach before.

There really is no “correct” angle.

There is only your angle.

3. Rocking (76.4%)

Rocking is one of the most underrated techniques out there.

Instead of repeatedly thrusting in and out, the penetrating partner stays deep while gently rocking their pelvis back and forth. That allows the base of the penis, toy or pelvis to maintain almost constant contact against the clitoris.

Less movement. More pressure. More consistency. And for many women, that’s exactly what leads to stronger orgasms.

4. Pairing (69.7%)

This one’s teamwork. Pairing simply means combining penetration with clitoral stimulation at the same time

That could be:

fingers
a vibrator
a partner’s hand
whichever combination feels good for you

If you’ve ever wondered why penetration alone doesn’t always get you there, this is your reminder that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. There’s absolutely nothing “extra” about using a little backup.

Browse our sex toys for couples if you’re looking for an easy teammate to bring into the bedroom.

💗 Girls Get Off Hot Tip

When your partner does something that makes your breathing change… don’t tell them to “keep going.”

Tell them exactly what you want.

Instead of:

“Keep going.”

Try:

“Right there.”

“Slower.”

“Don’t change a thing.”

The more specific you are, the easier it is for them to repeat exactly what feels good.

The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

The Coital Alignment Technique, better known as CAT, has been around since 1988, and for good reason.

At first glance it looks like missionary. In reality, it’s a completely different experience. The partner on top shifts their whole body slightly higher than normal so the base of the penis or toy lines up directly with the clitoris. Instead of thrusting in and out, both partners begin gently rocking together. It sounds like a tiny adjustment. It isn’t.

Because the clitoris stays involved throughout almost every movement, many couples find CAT creates far more consistent pleasure than standard missionary. It’s proof that changing how you move can matter far more than changing positions altogether.

Suggested illustration: Simple comparison between standard missionary and the CAT position.

Nine shallow, one deep

This rhythm comes from ancient Taoist sexual practice, and it’s surprisingly simple.

Start with:

nine shallow strokes
one deep stroke

Then:

eight shallow
two deep

Then:

seven shallow
three deep

…and continue if you feel like it.

The counting isn’t actually the important part. The anticipation is. Those repeated shallow strokes build tension until the deeper movement feels completely different. It also naturally slows everything down, making both partners pay attention to rhythm instead of racing toward the finish line.

The best part?

It works just as well during solo play using one of our internal vibes, where you’re completely in control of the pace.

Tempo tricks that change everything

Once you’ve mastered movement, start playing with time.

The Hold

Go deep. Pause. Stay completely still for a few seconds before gently grinding instead of thrusting. Sometimes the pause is the most exciting part.

The Slow-Mo

Cut your speed in half. Then keep it there longer than feels natural. You’ll probably be surprised how much more you notice when you’re not rushing.

The Switch-Up

Only change one thing at a time.

Depth.
Speed.
Or angle.

Not all three. That way you’ll actually discover what your body responds to instead of guessing.

Pass the Aux

Let the receiving partner control the rhythm.

Whether that’s grinding from underneath or taking the top position, sometimes the easiest way to find the perfect pace is letting the person feeling everything take the lead.

👑 Queen’s Challenge

Tonight, don’t try three new positions.

Pick one technique from this article and stick with it for at least five minutes. Whether it’s slowing down, rocking instead of thrusting, or experimenting with shallowing, you’ll learn far more by changing one thing than changing everything.

Your cheat sheet

Technique	The move	Best for
Shallowing	Short strokes at the entrance	Building anticipation and stimulating nerve endings
Angling	Tilt the hips to redirect pressure	Finding the spot that feels best
Rocking	Stay deep and gently grind	Continuous clitoral contact
Pairing	Add clitoral stimulation during penetration	More reliable orgasms
The CAT	Shift higher and rock instead of thrust	Keeping the clitoris involved throughout
Nine shallow, one deep	Alternate shallow and deep strokes	Building anticipation
The Hold	Pause during deep penetration	Increasing intensity without speed
The Slow-Mo	Cut your pace in half	Feeling more with every movement

How to ask for the move you want

Knowing what you enjoy is one thing. Telling someone else is another. The good news is it doesn’t have to be a big, awkward conversation. Sometimes the best feedback happens in the moment.

Simple phrases like:

“A little slower.”
“Stay right there.”
“More of that.”
“Don’t change a thing.”

can completely transform the experience without killing the mood.

If talking during sex feels a little intimidating, try guiding with your hands. Move their hips. Aust the angle. Slow them down. Your body can communicate just as clearly as your words.

And if chatting feels easier with clothes on, send them this article with a simple:

“Thought this was interesting 👀.”

Sometimes that’s all it takes to start a conversation.

Want the thrusting done for you?

Sometimes you want to practise the techniques yourself.

Sometimes you want a little help.

Meet DeeDee.

Unlike a traditional rabbit vibrator, DeeDee combines thrusting and vibration, creating movement as well as stimulation. If this article has taught you anything, it’s that rhythm matters - and that’s exactly what makes DeeDee feel so different.

With 10 pleasure modes, a 19 cm design, a silky smooth silicone finish and a 100% waterproof body, she’s designed to stimulate internally and externally at the same time. Whether you’re experimenting with shallowing, slowing things down or simply exploring what rhythm works for your body, DeeDee lets you do it all at your own pace.

One of our customers summed it up perfectly:

“Go all the way with DeeDee 😉 DeeDee is amazing! I struggle with finishing normally, but DeeDee cuts the time in half 😂 The only thing I’m mindful of is the noise. It’s not that loud, but I’m just a bit more aware of it.” - C

It’s no surprise DeeDee is rated 4.8 out of 5 stars from 65 reviews. For plenty of queens, she’s become the toy that completely changes the way they think about movement and rhythm.

If you’re ready to experience the difference for yourself, Shop DeeDee. Or, if you’d like to explore a few more options first, browse our full range of internal vibes to find your perfect match.

Message from the founders:

Better sex doesn’t always come from trying a new position. Sometimes it comes from slowing down. Changing the angle. Holding still for a moment longer. Or simply finding the rhythm your body has been asking for all along.

So tonight, instead of chasing something completely new, try changing just one thing. You might be surprised by how much difference one small austment can make.

Happy experimenting.

Love, Jo & Viv x