By Heather Foord, Core Restore Co
There are many things in life that remain a mystery. Where do galaxies come from? Who was Jack the Ripper? Why can men identify their favourite footy player from across a stadium, but still struggle to find the clit?
Well, gals. There’s one mystery that we can solve right here, right now.
The mystery of how the female orgasm works. AND, just call me Nancy Drew, because I have a hot little tip for making you cum more regularly and more intensely.
Let’s start with the anatomy of the female orgasm and the sexual response stages.
Stage 1: Desire
This stage is all about sexual urge, desire and libido and the desire stage can stage can last for hours. We tend to bring in fantasies and sexy thoughts to this stage – maybe it’s from ready a spicy book, sending a saucy text or thinking about how damn good your lover looks from between your thighs.
Stage 2: Excitement
This is where we take the desire from mental to physical and our body starts to react to all those sexy urges. During the excitement phase, you’ll notice your vagina becomes lubricated, the inner-thirds of the vagina expand like a tent (to ensure that when/if penetration occurs it feels good and not painful), the labia minora (inner lips) thicken, the clitoris gets bigger and nipples can harden. In fact, research has found even your breast size can increase during this stage! The pelvic floor’s job during the excitement phase is to relax and allow blood flow into the vulva before starting to gain tension. The more sexual stimulation, the more the pelvic floor tenses making the vaginal wall thicken and creating a juicy cushion around the entrance to the vagina – ready for penetration.
Stage 3: Plateau
Although it sounds boring, the plateau phase in anything but. During this phase, all of the sensations you felt earlier become even more intense. The clitoris is uber-sensitive and can retract a little under the clitoral hood.
A fun little fact to add to your sexy time toolkit is that during this stage, your sight and hearing dim – so it can feel like the world around you is blurry. Not only that, but your rectal sphincter (anus) contracts, which is why butt play, especially during the plateau phase can take you to another level. Your Bartholin glands produce extra lubrication and your pelvic floor contracts and relaxes to help make everything sensitive (which should feel amazing at this point) and creates more friction in the vaginal wall (so you get more of a grip during penetration).
Stage 4: Orgasm
Ahh, the Big O. During this stage, your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily and rhythmically contract which causes that beautiful buildup of blood in the veins to empty – giving you a feeling of release. Research shows that the orgasm experience depends on the strength of these muscle contractions, so a strong, functional pelvic floor is key when it comes to intensifying your orgasm. During this Big O you experience a general loss of voluntary muscle control – so you can experience spasms all the way from your feet to your face. Heart rate, blood pressure and breathing peaks and your rectal sphincter also contracts and releases.
The 1 thing you can do for better orgasms
You may have picked up on the smattering of clues throughout the sexual response phases, but my big tip for a better sex life? Pelvic floor strength and function. Research has shown time and time again that the pelvic floor is key when it comes (hahaha, cums?) to getting you to orgasm – and also the making your orgasm stronger AND longer.
In the Core clinics, we use Emsella to get your pelvic floor working (each 30-minute sesh is more than 11,000 Kegels), but you can also work on your strength at home. Download our free pelvic floor strength class to get started – this class uses movements and exercises that require ZERO equipment and there’s not a Kegel in sight (because I don’t know about you, but Kegels can be SO boring). Click here to download and reach out with all your women’s health and sexuality questions for simple, no-fuss answers.
Heather is a passionate advocate for women's health and owns Core Restore Co, a group of core and pelvic floor rehabilitation clinics across NSW. With degrees in Communications and Health Science, a Diploma in Pilates, Masters in Women’s Medicine and Masters. In Sexology (in progress), Heather is available across all four Core Restore Co clinics and provides educational content through the Core Restore Co Instagram.
References:
Rao TS, Nagaraj AK. Female sexuality. Indian J Psychiatry. 2015 Jul;57(Suppl 2):S296-302. doi: 10.4103/0019-5545.161496. PMID: 26330647; PMCID: PMC4539874.
Westerik-Verschuuren, L., Lutke Holzik-Mensink, M., Wieffer-Platvoet, M., van der Velde, M. (2023). Sexual Aspects of the Female Pelvic Floor. In: Geuens, S., Polona Mivšek, A., Gianotten, W. (eds) Midwifery and Sexuality. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-18432-1_10