Advent calendars have started filling shop shelves, and it’s given us at Girls Get Off an idea. Forget the chocolate this year, queens; your countdown to Christmas is about to get a whole lot sweeter.
If there is one thing we know how to do well, it’s swapping your predictable bedroom tango for something you don’t see coming—until you do, too.
This festive season, you deserve to not only be the yummy mummy kissing Santa Claus on Christmas Eve but to have a genuinely jolly time in the lead-up to the naughty night.
To have your cheeks rosier than the big man himself, you’ll need yourself, a comfortable space, some toys and a lover (but honestly, the last one is optional).
Here’s your 12 days of Sexmas:
Day 1 - Mistletoe make out
What better way to start the same way you mean to go on? Lean into the mistletoe cliche and place it somewhere in the house where your lover will stumble upon it. Make sure you’re in the same place at the same time, and let the magic of the mistletoe do the rest. If you’re living large as a singleton this festive season, we love to see it girl. Simply place your mistletoe at the head of your bed and let your Queen V enjoy some smooches with Missy(or another toy of your choice).
Day 2 - Christmas Carol dance party
The chivalry is dead debate is alive and well, but we’re ready to put it to bed. Pop on some of your fave Christmas carols and make the most of dancing with your boo - or for yourself. Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is the perfect smooch song, All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey is the ideal romantic sway song and Santa Baby? Well, let’s just say it’s better without clothes.
Day 3 - Naughty and Nice list
If you’re naughty, you get coal. But what if you didn’t? Make your own list this year with all the nice things you love about your partner (or you) and all the naughty things you’d like to try. The naughtier, the better. Do you want to dabble in a booty plug? Try out some restraints? Are you a sex in the wild kinda gal? Swap your list with your boo thang and have fun ticking them off.
Day 4 - Christmas movie night
After a long day at work, there’s nothing quite like curling up in bed with a festive movie. Are you a Hallmark gal? Does the Grinch secretly do it for you? Maybe Bad Santa’s your kind of vibe. Whatever you choose, snuggle up with your lover or fave toy and make your night a little less wholesome and a little more spicy with some sexy spooning, a dirty dangle or bootyiful view.
Sexy spooning: Lay on your side with your partner lying in the same direction also on their side. Push your booty toward them as they insert their peen or dildo into your Queen V - add a toy or some hand action for extra tingles.
Dirty dangle: Lay on your back with your head with your legs slightly spread. Have your partner position themselves between your legs and insert their peen or dildo into your Queen V. When you’re close to a big-O, inch your head towards the edge of the bed and dangle it over. When you climax, the blood will rush to your head, causing a moan-worthy feeling - this also works with oral.
Bootyful view: Have your partner sit up on the bed with their legs out straight in front of them. With your back towards them, straddle them and insert their peen or dildo into your Queen V. Extend your legs so they are almost behind them and relax your torso onto their legs. Slide up and down, and add a booty plug for extra stimulation.
Day 5 - Release your festive stress
Christmas is a stressful season. Not only are you trying to find the perfect gift for your family, but work is busy, supermarkets are a nightmare, and everything is telling you to spend money. Sigh. Forget your woes for the night by stripping down to your birthday suit, lighting some candles, popping on some soft instrumental holiday music, and asking your partner to give you an extra sensual massage. Have them focus on your Queen V, your breasts, or other erogenous zones, then swap. Once you’re both relaxed - and, let’s be honest, turned on, see where the night takes you.
Day 6 - Santa’s Little Helper
You’ve heard of the naughty nurse and the sexy librarian now say hello to Santa’s little helper. Dress up as Mrs. Claus, a lingerie elf or even sexy Santa and deliver a wrapped present to your lover. Whether it’s a cock ring, vibe, booty plug, or maybe even some massage oil, make it all the better by showing just how helpful you are by performing oral sex or dabbling in your favourite position.
Day 7 - Winter Wonderland
Wait until the sun has gone down, then turn your bathroom into a Winter Wonderland. Grab some cinnamon-scented body wash, a Santa-inspired bath bomb, and some festive-smelling candles. If you’re enjoying a cosy shower, try out the Slip n Slide, and if you’re having a bath, make it extra steamy with Snowy Alps.
Slip n Slide: Rubber duckies are a thing of the past. Bring Tiff, Wanda or another fave waterproof toy into the shower and lean into your lover as they take control of your big-O, or make them watch you as you do it yourself.
Snowy Alps: The perfect foreplay move sees your partner sitting in the bath with their legs out straight and you sitting in between their legs facing them. Grab your body wash of choice and pour it over your breasts before rubbing it in and making them extra soapy - or let your partner do the honours.
Day 8 - Holiday hunt
Make your partner’s day extra special by setting up a holiday hunt. Leave little notes in their car, lunchbox, and dressing gown pocket, places only they will find and give them little treats. Is it a naughty Polaroid of you? A spicy IOU? Maybe something extra sweet, like why you love them.
Day 9 - Christmas wax
Candles are one of the best parts of the season. As well as making the room smell extra festive, they also help set the mood in more ways than one. If you’re feeling a bit naughty and ready to lean into your kink era, purchase a body-safe wax candle and delve into wax play. Top tip: To have an extra enjoyable sensation, drop the wax from two metres to allow it to cool before it hits your skin. And add in some toys for even more fun.
Day 10 - Yes, No, Maybe, Santa baby
Santa Baby is the ultimate flirty tune. Lean into your own flirty behaviour by grabbing a copy of the Girls Get Off ‘Yes, No, Maybe’ list and playing a round with your lover—then get started on trying out the yeses.
Day 11 - Keep it quiet
We’re so close to the big day, so close in fact, you may find that your home is full of family and friends, or you’re staying at theirs; either way, this is the perfect opportunity to make a quiet rendezvous, quietly spicy. Pick a position of your choice, like the Ultimate Sleigh or Christmas Kiss and enjoy whispering naughty somethings in your lover’s ear, moaning softly, or if you’re into BDSM, add a ball gag/hand over mouth to stifle any sounds.
The Ultimate Sleigh: Great for G-spot stimulation, have your partner lay on their back with Bumpy Cuddles or plain pillow under their hips. Facing them, place your legs on their side of theirs and slowly lower until your pelvis’ line up. Insert their penn or dildo into your Queen V and ride as you please queen.
Christmas Kiss: Lay on your tummy and place Bumpy Cuddles or a folded pillow under your hips to elevate them. Have your partner eat you out from behind or play with Elle - our double ended dildo either in your Queen V or your booty. With your face smooshed into the bed, you won’t have to worry about all the moans slipping between your lips.
Day 12 - Unwrap each other
Who doesn’t love an early Christmas present - especially when it comes in the form of you all dressed up in a matching lingerie set. Whether it’s an emerald green, vibrant red or extra nice white, add a bit of sparkle, and you may as well be the angel at the top of the tree. Allow your partner to unwrap you under the Christmas lights or have a self-love sesh in front of the mirror.
Visit the Girls Get Off blog for more spicy fun.
THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY…..
Hiiii queens!! I’m Lillie Rohan, a Lifestyle and Entertainment journalist. I currently write for established publications such as NZ Herald, Metro.co.uk, The Mirror & of course, Girls Get Off. Along with all things pop culture, I love bringing you helpful info on all things relationship, sex and self pleasure, it’s a vibe! x