Drinks with Viv and Jo

You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast in all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self-loving, sex, orgasms and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets, even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the Mastination? Let's get into it. Hello and welcome back to the Girls Get Off podcast. This is drinks with Viv and Joe episode and we've brought Courtney along, our marketing assistant to help us out with this one. Viv's actually still hung over from last night. So Courtney and I are taking one for the team and we've already had a couple. Excuse the Aussie accent that comes out when I drink. I love it. But you're, I know it's definitely, I've got a good cackle. I've shared a couple. Yeah, last night a friend surprised me with tickets to 660 and I was sitting on the couch and I was like, I literally do not want to go out. I just want to stay here. I've got knitting to do of all things, long story. And I thought, but you know what? 660 has never disappointed me and it's always the best gig ever. And I can remember the times that I felt sick and I've gone out anyway and it's just been great. don't have COVID, just to put that out there. But yeah, it was definitely worth it. But then this morning I woke up and it was like, oh no, I've taken a turn for the worst. So I'm on the waters today. But as I was saying to you guys earlier today, I'm such a booze hag, it would take me, you know, an hour and a half to pre-drink for something anyway. So, you know, it's all good. Happy days. It all evens out. Yeah, sounds good. So podcast today is unofficially sponsored by Sparkling Margarita's Alba. Some new drink, loving it. Yeah, we're big fans anyway. And so we put, we had the idea for this podcast and we put something on our stories because we thought it would be funny to give bad advice. So disclaimer, don't, this is not, this is not advice. Is that a good disclaimer? And we thought it'd be funny to give, to give some advice or give opinion on questions that our following had. I think we always get really good questions when we ask the magic eight ball. Um, so we thought, how about, how about we ask us and safe to say, we are not as popular as the magic eight ball. I think people find it easier when they have just used it. Like honestly drunk me, I feel like has great opinions. I know. In the toilet of a club. Right. No, I will give good advice. Come on people. Ask me anything. Um, so, so yeah. Um. And actually maybe that is a really good way to gather some questions is in the bathroom. Okay. Yeah. So on from this, on from our drinking tonight, we've definitely made a night of it. And yes, we are going out after, so that's a great idea. Um, yes, we will, we will ask some bathroom questions. Next time we should take the podcast with us. Be like jump on the podcast. It's so funny. Love it. Um. Okay. So Courtney, um, put up a story yesterday asking if anybody wants some drunk advice from us or sorry, drinking advice. And yep. All right. So this is what has come through. All right. Here we go guys. How to tell a boy who's bad in the bedroom. Oh shit. Well, I just don't, I just started off good. I just, I just view this differently because a, it's not, it's not a one way street. It's a two way. It's a two way street. You have to, he's not necessarily bad, but it's also, Oh my gosh. You don't like. That's such good advice. She's got better advice sober because that's what sober, that's actually what sober me would have said. Yeah. Well, you have to take responsibility for your own pleasure, you know? So if you, you can't just blame it on him being bad in bed, you've got to be able to communicate and work together, you know? 100% agree. Just my like sparkling margarita. made me think different. But I don't know. I was like, Oh, I know. I was thinking of ways to tell them as well. I was not like, yeah, I know. I'm sort of advocate for, I don't think I could have bad sex anymore because I know what I like. And so if, you know, like I just do what I like. Yeah. Okay. You're definitely going to keep us a little sensible. But then maybe if you, but then maybe if you really say you really liked someone and you know what you like, surely you surely you would tell them. Well, I think, I think honestly, the best advice is just to give hints on what you do like rather than say they're bad. Maybe bring in some toys. In bed, yeah. Like let's try this, let's try that until you find something you like. Yeah, totally. 100%. And you have to, I think that's, I think that's like, that's like stretches further than the bedroom as well. You can't control what other people are doing, but you can just have to control what you, how you can go about the situation, you know? Yeah. And this is what we're all about, right? Because so many people, um, you know, don't feel like it's normal to get to know yourself and know what you like when you're by yourself, right? And so masturbate, like find out what you like. So then you know what you like when you're in bed with someone else. Yeah, totally. Exactly. There's actually a movie coming out. There's a movie coming out soon and we're going to have a little bit to do with the, we're going to give away some tickets and stuff to a screening. Um, oh my God, I've forgotten the name. What's the name of the movie? How to please a woman. How to please a woman, but one of the... What is this one we have got there? One of the themes in the movie, if you watch the trailer, it's so funny. Like I cracked up laughing. Yeah. And one of the themes of that movie, I feel, is like women learning to ask for what they want. And I think that it's not done enough. And I think that it's huge. So... Yeah, absolutely. I've appealed for that in our stories, but looking forward to that. And I guess it comes back to this a little bit as well, in terms of your communication and telling other people what you like. Yeah. Communication is key. Yeah. On that, do you reckon the main character might be at that premiere that we might go to and see? He is a Kiwi, so hopefully. We're going to the Sydney one. Hopefully you're single if you're listening. Oh, are you going to hit on the actor from the movie when we go there? Oh, planning to, planning to. Watch this space. I'll document it on stories. Can you imagine? That's so funny. Me hitting on someone is not good content. I've watched it. It's great content. I'll film Jo tonight if she meets anyone. I wouldn't know how I'd talk to anyone. That's so funny. Behind the scenes of Jo messaging. A guy is like the whole team of girls. Oh, I feel like that's standard for everyone. Yeah, that's so standard. Anyone does that. Perfect. Good. Alright. Sex with a new lover after coming out of a long-term relationship. I can probably help with this one. Here we go, Jo, take the stage. Take away, Jo. Okay. I've done this a couple of times because I've only been in long-term relationships, I feel. And then I have not sex for a long time. No, no, no. Okay. Um, I don't know what advice I've got for it apart from it's fricking awkward every time and sometimes you get clingers and it's like, oh my God. I mean, it's going to be like, it's a whole different, you get to start again, like whatever you used to do. Well, potentially doesn't like work with this next lover. I feel like you need to kind of half expect that they don't like at least. in a long-term relationship, they've kind of got to know what you like and stuff maybe. And so you can't go in there expecting that sex is going to be amazing. As amazing as that and they're going to know what you like. Yeah, for sure. I reckon best advice, don't have any expectations. Yeah, for the first couple of times. Go and open-minded. I love that. Go and open-minded. I love that. Go and open-minded. I love that. Go and open-minded. I love that. Go and open-minded. No, but I think that's good too. I think no expectations. Cool. I think no expectations. Cause you'd be silly to expect it to be the same. Yeah, I guess people that have been only in a long-term relationship though might, you know, like. Yeah, this is true. All right, new question. Sleeping with my ex. Oh, well this happens in our confessions, like. This happens so commonly. This is so common, yeah. I mean, I guess they do it cause they're comfortable. It's like, go there, then know what it's like. At some stage, you're going to have to break the cycle, right? Yeah. But- You're not going to help yourself by keep going back there. No, but I think everybody, it's a process and probably everybody is in that cycle for a bit, but the sooner you can break that cycle, the sooner you get on to your life that's meant for you and the better off you are. And also, how are you going to move on if you're still going back and seeing him? It's not really helping you. No. Yeah. I know. Yeah. And hope they're somebody in that situation, you know? I feel like everyone has to learn that and learn that process. I think one of the, one of the best podcasts I've listened to, here's a recommendation, is this Tony Robbins podcast. I think it was actually one of his TED Talks they put into a podcast and it's called Why We Do What We Do. And it talks about the six emotional human needs and how if something is meeting like three of your emotional human needs, and addiction. So that could be, but it also explains why we might watch a movie that we've seen before because we know that it's like, we know it's going to be good. We're hoping we haven't seen it in a while. So something might be different. Um, and it might be, you know, it's obviously entertaining or whatever. So when you, I reckon when you listen to that, at least then you'll understand the reason that you're probably still sleeping with them isn't necessarily because you're like in love with them or like meant to be with them or whatever. It's just cause you're like a human. It's your natural reaction, you know? Well, because three of the, this is absolutely not advice, but three of them are like certainty. So you've slept with them before, you know the sex is gonna be good, uncertainty. It's still exciting, like something different, and then like love and connection. So there's already three of them being met from sleeping with this person again. So there's no wonder that even though you're like, oh, this is such a bad idea, logically, for some reason you just like continue to go back or like message them when you're drunk or whatever. I think we've all been in that situation, but it's like. Human nature. It's not your fault, you know, it's just because you're a human. It's just your brain. But I do think it's a mere brackets. It's just your simple human brain. It's all the better off. You will be in the long run. Don't waste time. It's just a time waster. Yeah. That you could be finding your soul mate. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Next question. What is a relationship deal breaker? Like what do you guys, in your opinion, what is a deal breaker? We haven't got an example. I feel like I have so many. I can't hit a spoiler. Oh, Facebook statuses. Yeah, that's a root. They do. I've never thought about tailbreakers. Facebook statuses. Great. Yep. Like if somebody needs to be like, hey, great day. I don't know. Such a good day at work guys. How was your day? Yeah. I'm like, sending love. Yeah, I'm out. I'm running. Yeah. It's not 2012. Um, Oh, that's so funny. I've never really thought about deal breakers before. Tell me some of your deal breakers, other than Facebook statuses. I feel like that's quite specific. I feel like one of my deal breakers might, but I suppose it's what deal breakers are too judgmental. So I feel like I agree with you. I could, I personally couldn't date someone the same height or shorter than me. I know I need to be like, you're taller. I need to feel like the little one. I know, but it's not their fault. So I feel like that's Empathy Joe. Breaking out. Um, Empathy Joe. Yeah. I think that's, I think that's a hard one because it's, um, I feel like a lot of people would feel the same way, but I guess at the end of the day, it's what like, what matters. What I've learned from past relationships, right? Is you actually have to be into it. Yes, that is important. That is very important. Must be into them. You have to. Yes, you do have to be into them to be in a relationship. Yeah. Step number one. Yeah. And also when you meet the right person, if they are shorter than you, you're going to be like totally into it anyway. You know, if they're like, you're a perfect man. Yeah. Come on. Like, it's just like a skill deck is like a relationship deal breaker, right? Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think that one should come before Facebook statuses. I think actually we should have said that one first. Yeah. Okay. I got my order wrong, but I've definitely learned a few lessons in my life. And now I would pick somebody. Well, I wouldn't pick somebody, but like, I would only be in a relationship with somebody if I went to take like, and ticked all my boxes. Have I just gone off on the wrong kind of tangent here? No, that's good. No, that's good. I was just, I was like, why is the, why is the height thing like a society? Why does society think that? Why is the height thing a big deal? We all know the person that changed my mind about this because same height I was always fine with. Yeah. But then I may have been with somebody that is nice and big and it felt like really safe. Like it was, it was a really nice kind of feeling. Yeah, I'd agree with that. To feel like, yeah. Yeah. I feel like in movies and stuff as well, relationships are always, the guy is like much bigger than the girl typically. Yeah. And that's like in the movie or, you know, that's what you look at. And I suppose like, I don't know, famous people as well. Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. The ideal relationship. Not really. What about Nicole Kidman and Keith? True. I never know who celebrities are. I'm just going to grab my phone. I'm just like, I know who Nicole Kidman is, but who's the other person? Keep going. Just nod. Anyway, yeah. So I think Viv kind of thinks that my ideal guy has big arms, but. I think you said it once. I feel like you said it once. Like. I think you said like big and you did this with your hair, like you kind of like, with my arms, yeah. Your shoulders out a bit. And I'm like, Joe likes big arms. So every time. I know, but it's just that I like them like kind of, yeah, I think it's, I like them bigger than me. Yeah. But now every time we see someone with big arms, Viv's like, Oh, that's Joe's type. I think. But I'm not really into big arms. Like I'm like, they might restrict you if they're too big. Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? Because I have noticed in the past that if I'm like sleeping with someone, I just ignore things that not well, yeah, I guess that would be red flags, but because I can be quite like positive about things. I'm like, that's all good. Oh, that's really fun. And then you look back and you're like, Oh my God, you're an idiot. That was a dud move. So I think it was positive about everything. That's what I'm thinking about these red flags. Cause I'm like, I will deal breakers. I more now I've been like, this is the criteria. And so if they don't meet the criteria, I have to have an agreement with myself that that's not, if they don't, if they don't meet the criteria, then I have to logically go, are they meeting, like, is this what's happening? And if it's not, then it has to, you know, like if they, you know, like if someone doesn't like their job or something to me, that is super unattractive because I really like my job and I get like work is a huge part of what I do. But in the past where I've just been like sleeping with people or whatever, I would just kind of like. push that aside and then you get down the stage when you've been sleeping with them for six months and then you're like, what am I doing with my life? You know? But yeah, so now I'm like, yeah, a relationship. So now I'm more like, this is my, this is like the, the ideal kind of criteria. And unless they kind of tick the boxes is the wrong word, but unless they like displaying these features, then I have to be able to logically be like, this is not, this is not what you decided. So I'll see how that goes. Keep you posted. Yeah, that kind of brought up a good point. I feel like driven is like a relationship deal breaker for me. Like they need to be driven. Yeah. Yeah, well, positive talking about their life, like their work is what? So much of their life. If they hate their job, they're naturally gonna be like negative all the time. Yeah, and just like, ugh, I don't know. Like just come home from work, we're all shitty. Well, even if they're not shitty about it, just like I like someone with drive, like even. you know, they might not even be successful, but if they've got drive to kind of like... They just love what they do. Yeah. Do you know what's probably a better word for that? I reckon it's probably that like growth mindset, you know what I mean? Because someone might not like their job, but if they have like the ambition or drive, like you're saying with the mindset to be like, I don't like my job, but I'm going to do something about it. That's probably the most... Yeah. That's probably more important. Yeah. That's just the job part is just like the byproduct, you know, of perhaps not taking action. Yep. Okay. Let's go next question. All right. Okay. I want to meet you guys. I'm a professional in Taronga and nervous you'll know all my secrets. Oh, obviously a confession. I don't get it. Can't she meet us? What do you mean? Is she going to... I think she must, she must be active on like replying to our wish-in-boxes and maybe thinks we're going to be like, oh my God, you did that. Oh, you were the girl that did that. So let's message her and invite her over for a drink. Yeah. Tell her we're podcasting now. And actually there's someone, people have asked me that time and time again, do you get to see who sees all the confessions? I'm like, yeah, I can if I want, but I'm like, but I'm so desensitized to it. Like nothing really phases me anymore. It's just like, I don't even, it doesn't, it's not something I look into, you know? This is so true, but then there is the occasional one that I kind of said to, like I'll send to Viv and be like, And just when I thought like I wouldn't be surprised anymore. I love it. We're so here for it though. I know, but like I never even think to stalk anybody. That's no, you get like you get that many confessions and that you actually don't. If you went and looked through everyone's little personal profile, it would take you hours. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And to be fair, probably the confessions we get in the most are like so common that we're getting them by not just you, we're getting them by like 10, 10 plus people as you know, that are doing the same thing. Oh, honestly. I've seen it all before. As I mentioned, every week someone pegs their boyfriend for the first time. People try the Missy Minnie and a butt plug and a vibrator. Yeah, apparently they're having sex. Yeah. Yeah, it's all go. Yeah. Nothing's really new, I guess, but it's great because there's always different variations of the confessions and yeah, it's always spices it up and it's not the same for everyone. Like when we're reading through and like figuring out which ones. and we're gonna post and stuff that's different for people who are just like consuming the content I feel. Yeah. Sorry, just typing back to this lady. I'm gonna come out for a drink. Sorry, bear with me. You guys keep chatting. Yeah, on the confessions, I've had people say to me as well, like, oh my God, you're gonna see what I've been doing. I'm like, we actually, we don't. Like the name, in comparison to what we see, the confession is like. so big and it's a tiny little picture of you and a tiny little name. And also there's no kink shame yet girls get off and stuff, do you know what I mean? That's our whole thing is to normalise this and no judgment so of all people, yeah it's not a big deal. All right, next question. Thoughts on waiting till marriage? Oh hell no. Personally it's not for me. Gosh you guys are sensible with that answer, I just like was hell no. No, it's not my personal views either. Well, I think that often for the most part stems from religion and I'm not, I don't classify myself as religious, but you went to a Catholic school, Courtney. I did. A lot of people who you went to school with, are they like saving themselves for marriage? Is it still a huge thing? It's not surrounded by that. Maybe one person in the year maybe two? Maybe. Oh my God. Wow. I feel like it's not, I don't know. I can't really speak on behalf of everyone, but I. I don't know how common it is. I feel like there would come a stage where you just, oops. Yeah. No, I honestly, if someone can do that and hold themselves out to marriage, like great from them. Like that's cool that they've been saving it for that long. If that's what you're about, obviously, like it's you. Like I'm well done. Yeah. Imagine like not doing it for someone for so long. Like, yeah. I think it- If that's what makes you happy, you go for it. Yeah. 100%. admire people, I guess, with beliefs that... Oh, for sure. That they're following it so close to their heart and they've... And they actually stick to it. Because... And what a special marriage night as well, you know? Yeah. It's like a whole new thing for them. That's like a fairy tale story. That's so cute. Yeah, person to person, depends if that's what you want to do, you do that. Don't let anyone else influence what you... what you have to think of that about that. But for me personally, that's not something that I've ever intended on doing. Yeah, no, either. We're all here for the try before you buy. Yeah, test drive a few cars. Well, you don't buy a car without, you know, driving it first. I did. Oh, you did? How did it go for you? It was great. Oh, there you go. Just sold it for more than what I paid for. You're joking. She was like, I just, you've done that with two cars. Yeah, yeah. Good point. I almost. Cause I remember you buying one and I was like, what? And she just bought it off Trade Me. She's like, oh, Laura has a car like that. I'm just going to buy it. And she just bought it. That was crazy. Well, I don't know. I figured reliable Toyota, but then, yeah. Then the next one I bought too. Yeah, you're right. I was just like, sent it up from somewhere. The amount of cars I test drove with my dad for my first car and he's like. opening the bonnet and taking the air filters out and stuff. Oh my gosh. And the tyre tread and then Jo just flies it off the road. I'm like, wow. Somebody just- Busted Moose over here. Somebody just bought my car the other day and I'm like, here's the key and I think this is the spec key for it, but I know nothing else about the car. I'm like, I'm not a car person, sorry. Yeah. But anyway, so yeah. Okay. So anyway, I like to try before I buy with other things but cars. Not cars. All right, next question. The Bumble match that keeps delaying our second date. Why am I still into him? Nah. Oh, nah, nah. Bye. There's so many people on Bumble. Thank you, next. Bye. Yep. You deserve someone who's going to give you your time, give you their time. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, 100%. If they, it's that whole, if they want to meet you, like they will make it work, right? Like you prioritize that shit. Totally, and also if you didn't wanna, if it was you and the tables were turned and you wanted to see someone again, you wouldn't be delaying the second date. No, no. No, it's exciting, like it's fun. You'd be totally right in the DMs after the first date. I actually have some dating app experiences from last week. Or was it this week? Tell us, tell us more. On Tuesday, we had a date and he was really cool and he was like, I was like, oh, that's quite hot, that's all good. And then, and it was quite refreshing to, but go on a date with someone and you don't have any mutual connections because it's not New Zealand. And anyway, then he, then I thought, oh, he's really, it was really fun. It was cool. I actually quite like meeting new people like that. That's awesome. Um, but then I was like, oh, I'm not really getting like a dating vibe from him though. And so when I said this, he messaged again, like for another date. And I said to my flatmate, I was like, um, there's a reason for this, I'm bringing this back to the story. I said to my flatmate man, I need to tell him that I'm like, how do I message him and say that I'm not coming for another date? My flatmate's like, oh, I would just leave that. I'm like, come on Harley. I'm like, we do not do ghosting here. So I just said, I was like, had a really great time. That was so awesome, but not really feeling like the dating spark there. Happy hinging, you know? And he was like, thanks for being so upfront. Happy hinging. Yeah. So, you know, just be upfront about it. And so if someone's putting off your second date, just be probably trying to go steal something like not with your time. Yeah. Well, it's a scary thing. I feel like you struggle with it. Don't you Joe? What do I struggle with? I'm not being able to like say it. Like anyone, anyone would, it's not easy to be like, Hey, real fun date, but just not. Not for me. Yeah, but it's always like a weight off your shoulders when you do it. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It took me 10 minutes to write the message and Harley was useless at helping me. I was like, Oh, what about this? And then I was like, I don't want to say, I don't want to say, I just want to be friends because I was like, I don't actually want to be friends. Well, and because he's putting it off, he's probably really nice guy, but like feels bad saying it. And so he's just putting off the date, but really. If he wanted a second date, sorry, I think he would have. Yeah. Hard out. It's better he knows anyway that you're not keen, like you did the right thing. You don't want him hanging on and you, you know, going out there just because you feel bad. On this though, this made me just like click on Bumble and I have two new matches. So I'm just going to open them. Oh, exciting. Are they hot? Ray. Ray, if you're listening, we're going out soon. Looking for Bestie. Maybe not Ray, sorry. Have you tried Hinge? Oh, no, I think I had to do too much for Hinge and that was too much of it. Um, do you have the app sitting there? So it might get the girls at work to like, yeah, sign me up for that Monday morning meeting. Yeah, love it. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, no, sorry. Bumble excitement from me. How often are you on it though? At looking for people. Ah. like once a week, I just flick through, but I've paid for it so they can't see that I'm on there. Yeah. So yeah, they can only see you if you match them, if you'd like them. Like if I like them, yeah. And you're not that active, so that's... My chances are slim. We need to add it into your calendar every day, like bumble 10 minutes, contact Swipe. Swipey swipe, swipe swipe. Stay active. Yeah. Okay. Incorporating toys after a long time together. I don't have any experience in this. Communication. Yeah, I would whip out too many. Yeah, just like, I definitely think it's, I think the only issue with it is, right, that a guy may think, because this wouldn't be an issue in a girl-girl relationship, right? No. But the only issue I can see with it is that a guy would feel intimidated. So, or maybe he's like, if you're bringing in so light, he's like, am I not good enough? Exactly. So he feels like he feels shit. He feels like he's getting replaced. So I think they're like, I think. Oh my gosh, I cracked myself up. Anyway, um, I think that it's about communication. Yeah. You have to just say like, yeah, yeah. It's, it's like, what did we use at the start of this whole thing, Viv? It's like an ice cream. Oh yeah. Like you can have vanilla ice cream for so long, but sometimes it's good with topping and sprinkles. It's already great. Exactly. It's already, it's already great, but like you add topping to it or sprinkles for me nuts. That's convenient. Um, cream and nuts. Yeah. And you know, you've got this whole other level, which yeah, I feel like, um, Cam, the episode we did with Cam Fraser, he explained that really well as well, right. And he talked about, um, ways that you could bring it up and you could say, Hey, I heard about this thing in a podcast. Do you think we should try it together or would you be open to that? Um, and if you, I think he talked about, if you do think that they will be intimidated then yeah, maybe a conversation to have prior to like launching a vibrate hour over your bedside drawer or something and like, you know, surprising them with it. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Totally. Maybe even choosing one together. Yeah. Make it fun, like a fun thing. Yeah. Like involving them in the process rather than just surprising them. Bam. I mean, they could, they should start watching, um, like Sunday Confessions or something, like as a way of your partner, you and your partner had like nothing. nothing in the past, start watching some like content of like girls get off. Yeah, sending them stuff. Yeah, sending them stuff and then like low key dropping it, dropping it that way. Like if it's going to be, if you're like too afraid to bring it up. Yeah, just as a little segue. Okay. Next question. How to tell a friend their significant other is a shit bag and they should dump them. Could have a coffee. Are you sure you don't have COVID there? Yeah. Everyone here has got the sickness and it's not COVID. And we're all, we're all going down together. Um, oh my God, that's so funny. I feel like, I feel like, like if it was one of you girls, I would just literally tell you he's a shitbag. So I may be the wrong person. Yeah. No, you're definitely best to be honest, but like, I guess I know people and I've been in experiences where you don't listen to what other people say and you might shut them out because you're being so honest with. with them. Totally. Yeah. And it definitely is probably a reflection of where it's also a reflection of where that person's at the time, you know, because like I mentioned about, you know, when I was situation shipping with people and, you know, seeing them for a long time and then you're like looking back, you're like, man, and it's actually just because you didn't really know yourself properly at the time. Yeah. You know, so you wouldn't have and even if people drop hints then. Yeah. You don't really take it on. I think it's a major that at the time they don't really see it. So it is, if you're going to bring it up, I think it's so important to probably, you know, make sure they know you're still there, whether they're in it or not. Yeah, you're not attacking. Like, you're not, you know, but you don't think it's right. I wouldn't be able to sit back with someone in a bad relationship and not say anything. That's just me. Um, Yeah. And I think it's good when. you as the friend are quite direct about it as well. Like I have a friend and she recently told one of her really good mates that she was like, he's a dickhead. You need to dump him. Like nothing left to it. Like nothing left to it imagination. Not like, you know, shut him ass or he's being a little bit of an asshole. She's like, you deserve better. He's not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Blah, blah, blah. And was like very black and white about it. Which I, when she told me about it, I was like, that's, that's pretty clear. It's not just like your friends, if they'd made like sly remarks or they're just like, maybe you're in a situation, they're not like, you know, treating them, giving them the time of day or something and trying to like hint at it that way. This is actually being direct. You know, it's definitely a hard one because it's, it is scary having that conversation with a friend that, that they are going to completely like disregard what you're saying and be like, take it personally as well. You want them to... So like hear what you're saying and be like, you're coming from a good place. You know, you're not. I do know there's one person that I've continuously told this to like, and being straight up, like my straight up self. But, and then they continue to go back, but I think I'm aware that that's just, you know, their choice, all part of the process. And you do, you just have to. still be there for them. You have to be there for them because eventually they will, if it's, you know, you're going to know if they're not, if it's not for them or, you know, they're not treating them right, you're going to know. And yeah, it may just take them a little bit longer to actually realise that. I guess it can get annoying if you're like, if they're agreeing and they're continuously going back, but at the end of the day, like a good friend, right, would stick by them and- Yeah, hang around. Make sure that- I actually have said this to a friend. I'm probably thinking of the same friend. Yeah, I actually have said this to a friend. Yeah. And I even wrote her a letter once and I was like, wow. Yeah. And I get, yeah, I actually bought her a vibrator as well. I think we're totally the same person. Yeah. I wrote her a nice letter and I'm like, I love you so much and you're so great. And like, if it just, just get well acquainted with this dildo and like, it's my favorite, it's going to be great for you. Yeah. Whatever. And also, and also just. real heartfelt letter. Obviously other times where I've been like, I have absolutely no time for him. The way he's treated other people, I was there in certain situations. Yeah, and then I wrote a nice letter and I bought her a cool vibe. Yeah, and based on experience, I think you stay in a bad relationship if you don't have confidence. And so if anything, try and find ways to get them more confident as well, to know what. that they were worth so much more. Yeah, you know, because that's, I think that comes to. And also letting them know that like, and I know that you'll probably screw up because you know what we talked about earlier in this podcast, you know, like. That cycle. Yeah, you probably will sleep with them again and like whatever, and just please don't ever stop telling me about things or think that you can't come to me and blah, blah. Because the last thing that you wanna do is have them like shut you off and then. Absolutely. Feel like they can't turn to anyone. Because that'll just make them turn to that person more, I reckon, so. Totally. Yeah, yeah, correct advice. Great advice by us. Must have been this like, angorita. It's the alba. Okay, next question. Last one, surely that's a full episode link. Yeah, let's go to the last one. Okay. Hello, a friend of benefits that I like more than I should. I'm a grown ass woman for fuck's sake, pretty much a one-sided situation. It's not your fault, it's your silly little human brain. She likes him and he doesn't. Oh, sorry, she likes her or him and they don't like them back. Yeah, and I feel like. It doesn't matter what age you are, like grown ass woman or not, like this can happen at any age. Yeah, that sucks. That's always, yeah, that always sucks. At least you realize it. You know, at least you've got the self-awareness to be like, yeah, that's the first step. You're aware of it. To be like, oh, this isn't a two way street. The thing is maybe if you're hung up about it right, like it might be best to say something, you may need to have as many drinks as I had to do that because it sounds like a good idea right now. But. just to get that closure within yourself. Like at the moment, she might be thinking that, oh no, she doesn't like me. But like a little bit of her might be thinking that, oh, what if she does? But if you get that closure, it might be helpful. And in these situations, I think we always try to look for like the easy way out. Do you know what I mean? We're like, oh, I was, you know, underneath you're like, oh, surely there's like a little shortcut here or something. And unfortunately there's no shortcutters there if you do have to cut it off. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Way to wrap it up with a shorty. Way to wrap it up. Well, if it comes a time where you need some, you need some candid advice on anything, hopefully next time we'll do better than the magic eight ball. Yeah. I think next time we'll definitely make sure Viv drinks so she's not as sensible as what she was tonight. I'll probably just swear more, be more, you know, more emphasis. I'm surprised. Buck hasn't come out yet. So wait till we're recording another episode after this. And I'm sure after a couple more drinks, we will, um, we came to the conclusion the other day, didn't we, that the only time I swear is when I drink or have sex. I always swear. I swear all the time. I think I do. I don't know. I think she was a swear of it. It might be when you're drinking, you're drinking a lot. Maybe when you're on the work mode, maybe that's when I know you. Sometimes I say things like that is good shit, you know, things like that. Oh, shit doesn't count. Oh, doesn't it? Okay. No, I mean, fuck. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, guys, we love it when you leave reviews. So if you leave a review underneath, we're going to get our favorite every week to give away a vibe to. And you can find us at girlsgetoff on Instagram and Facebook and all our Facebook group. Girls Get Off Uncensored is a hit. Am I missing anything else? Because I'm the drunk one. Girls Get Off Uncensored is the place to be as well. It's so epic. If you need some more hype girling, God, I love that group. Isn't it epic? The hype girling. Such a good group of girls in there. Yep. And also just before we finish, that post the other day about that girl who was clearly like, was still sleeping with her ex and he was like so unavailable to her and was like not treating her properly. And then she had like, heaps of sparks with the flatmate and she the comments were outstanding. People were like ditch the ex, ride the roomie. If you need real advice, jump on us. Because the girls in there will have your back. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Alright, we will see you next time. Catch you later.