Despite the world becoming increasingly sex positive, there can be a stigma that comes with introducing vibes, dildos, booty plugs and other toys to your bedroom activities - especially with your partner.
Thankfully, we’ve got all the answers to how to do it.
Here is the Girls Get Off guide to introducing toys into your relationship - without hurting anybody's feelings.
- Communication is key
Some may choose to rip the bandaid off, throw a toy on the bed, and give their partner the eyebrows —power to you, queen. Others may want a more subtle approach, and to that, we also say, power to you, queen.
This is because there are plenty of emotions when it comes to using toys; excitement, nerves, arousal, and anxiety, all of which are completely normal.
So, regardless of how you choose to breach the topic, the first step is always communication. Start by sitting in a safe, comfortable space with your partner and communicating your feelings.
It can be as casual as saying, "Hey, what do you think about us using Missy?" Or “let’s do a sex challenge… with toys”. Maybe it's a more serious chat in which you share your desire, answer any questions your partner may have and discuss what you're both comfortable with.
If you feel really nervous about having the conversation and opening up to your partner about your fantasies and desires, take it slow. Frame it as a request or suggestion rather than an order, and let them know you're curious about toys.
Allow the conversation to flow naturally.
- Find a toy that you both like
Once you've agreed to bring toys into the bedroom and established how you want to do it, it's time to find a toy you both feel comfortable using.
If you already have a toy collection, open your treasure chest and let your partner familiarise themselves with each toy. Explain what each one does, tell them which one is your favourite, and answer any questions they have.
You have to introduce toys at your own pace, so the first step may be looking at them and closing the drawer, then coming back to them hours, days or even weeks later. Or, you could open the drawer and start playing around immediately.
There is no right or wrong way.
If you don't have any toys, this is a great time to treat yourself. Ask your partner to come with you to a sex shop or go online and browse through the many toys - Girls Get Off have plenty of options!
If you don't know a lot about sex toys, it's worth starting small. Missy, Polly, or a penis ring are great ones to begin with, but the main thing is to take your time and explore options together.
- Introduce the toy into your sex life
Now that you're both comfortable and have the toy, it's time to have fun.
Bring the toy into your spicy session and keep communication open. It may be awkward the first time as you figure out how the toy fits your rhythm.
Have some giggles, keep it lighthearted, and try out different positions until you find one that works for both of you and remember, you want the toy to be a part of the experience, not the entire focus.
For more answers to your sex queries, check out our blog on our website, or closed Facebook group, Girls Get Off Uncensored.
THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY…..
Hiiii queens!! I’m Lillie Rohan, a Lifestyle and Entertainment journalist. I currently write for established publications such as NZ Herald, Metro.co.uk, The Mirror & of course, Girls Get Off. Along with all things pop culture, I love bringing you helpful info on all things relationship, sex and self pleasure, it’s a vibe! x