So, you spicy señorita, we hear you and your partner/friend with benefits/casual sex buddy have decided to dabble in a threesome? And not the kind that includes Tiff or Missy.
Congratulations queen! Exciting times ahead, but before you get to the toe-tingling ménage à trois, how exactly do you organise one? Girls Get Off has all the answers.
What is a threesome?
Girl, we know that you know what a saucy little threesome is, but just so we are all on the same page, a three-way is having your cake and eating it too, THEN watching your cake eat another cake.
Ah huh, ah huh. Delicious.
Basically, it’s when three people engage in sexual activities together. They can be of any gender or sexual orientation; it can be a couple and a single, three singles, a throuple, two friends and another; as long as it’s three consenting adults, it can be whatever combo you want it to be.
How do I organise a threesome?
Once you and your partner/fwb/friend/another person have decided to include a third in your rendezvous, it’s time to make it happen.
Of course, some of you may fall into a threesome on a night out, answer a couple’s calls for a third or be the spontaneous queen who just happens to find yourself in these situations; if you’re a couple looking for a third, here’s how to do it.
Be open and honest about what you want:
To avoid any friction, jealousy or uncomfortable feelings in the bedroom, have an honest talk with your partner and state clearly what you want from the experience.
What kind of person are you looking for? Is it a friend, acquaintance, or complete stranger?
Then, decide where you would like it to take place. Will it be at your home? A hotel? Perhaps the third’s house.
Finally, discuss boundaries. What kind of sexual acts do you want to participate in? This part of the discussion is one the third should be involved in.
How do you approach your ideal third?
There are four main ways of finding the person to help you bring your fantasy to life.
1. Dating apps: Set up a joint profile and communicate clearly what you are looking for. Some sites you can try in Australia and New Zealand are Tinder, Feeld, 3Fun and OkCupid.
2. Members-only sex clubs: These can be a great place to find a third. Some members of our GGO community have had luck at CCK and Chilli Club in New Zealand, while Australia offers Fun4Two, The Play Pen, and Our Secret Spot, among others.
3. Saunas: Much like sex clubs, saunas are a great, judgement-free place to meet your third. Sydney offers some great gay and bisexual options, and Auckland also has multiple venues.
4. Night out: It’s a tale as old as time, but sometimes chatting up a third on the D-floor and taking them home is successful.
According to the GGO community, these are all tried and true options, with the most popular being the much loved app Feeld.
What are the best positions for a threesome?
There are countless positions you and your two partners can try together, but ultimately, it comes down to what you want from the experience.
Sit down as a group, decide what you want to try, and go from there. Often, two people will engage in penetrative sex, and the third person receives oral or digital (fingering) sex.
Some people include toys, while others want to watch their partner get down with the third. Whatever your preference, make sure you are all comfortable and using protection.
Aftercare is important following a threesome.
Anytime you have sex, you should be practising aftercare, this is no different when it comes to a threesome.
As well as checking in with your third to make sure they are okay, be sure to have a debrief with your partner.
Watching your person having sex with another person may be more complex in practice than it is in theory for some people, so it’s worth talking about what you liked or disliked, whether you would do it again or if it was a one-off.