Sit down, get comfortable, and grab your favourite vibe, queen.
If you’ve never had an orgasm, think you’ve had one but aren’t 100 percent sure, created some wet sheets but no toe-tingles, or are just here for the conversation, welcome. This is your no-nonsense Girls Get Off guide to what an orgasm really is.
What Is an Orgasm?
According to science, or rather the American Psychological Association, an orgasm is "when a person reaches peak pleasure. The body releases tension, and the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and reproductive organs rhythmically contract."
For females, or vagina owners specifically, having a big-O means that not only does your heart rate increase, but "the muscles in the vagina and anus may contract roughly once per second, for around five to eight times."
Lucky for us queens, big-O’s can last for 20-35 seconds and, in some cases, may include female ejaculation.
Is squirting an orgasm?
According to our resident sexologist Morgan Penn, "Contrary to popular belief, [female ejaculation or squirting] is not pee, and it's not an orgasm. The clear, odourless fluid expelled during squirting comes from the urethral tube and surrounding 'sponge.' This happens due to the erectile and glandular tissues in the area, which can build up and expel fluid after a rush of blood creates engorgement."
In simple terms, being turned on = blood rush to your urethral glands = fluid buildup = squirt.
How Common Is It for Women to Have an Orgasm?
A big-O is pretty darn glorious, but penetrative sex and orgasms don’t always go hand in hand—in fact, they are almost more likely not to go together.
Just last year, Durex conducted a study of 2,000 adults and found that 4 in 10 women (40 percent) don’t have a big-O during penetrative sex.
As for men, the study found only 1 in 10 (10 percent) don’t reach orgasm during sex.
PhD Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, also weighed in on the matter, telling Cosmopolitan that “the overwhelming majority” of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration, to orgasm.
It’s also worth noting that while big-O’s are a great part of sex, they’re just the cherry on top. If you’re someone who physically cannot orgasm, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life.
How Do I Have an Orgasm?
Big-O’s can be caused by many different things: vibrators, nipple play, oral sex, dreams, and one of our favourite little secrets—the core-gasm.
What causes a big-O can be different for everyone. Maybe you like a combo of oral and penetrative sex, or maybe it’s all down to nipple play or a vibrator. If you menstruate, you may find different times of the month result in different levels of horniness, making it easier or harder to reach orgasm.
The same goes for different stages of life.
A big-O isn’t as straightforward as the movies may lead you to believe; they look and feel different for everyone. The only way to figure out what makes you grab your sheets, curl your toes, and scream is by experimenting.
How Do I Know If I’ve Had an Orgasm?
When your body is climbing the orgasm ladder, there are a few signs; your heart rate speeds up, your breathing becomes erratic, some women report ringing in their ears or a numb sensation in their limbs.
There’s a lot going on, a lot of commotion and your big-O is the moment all this pressure that’s building in your body releases.
With so many moving parts (literally), it feels like it’s impossible to miss the moment you big-O, but the reality is you absolutely can.
And there are a few reasons, one being your very own expectations. Porn, TV shows, and movies have raised the bar to earth-shattering heights when it comes to orgasms, and if you’re constantly waiting for that “I need an hour to recover” moment, you might not get it.
Thankfully, the thing about orgasms is that they’re different every time. While some are indeed earth-shattering, others are like eating a tiny piece of chocolate—short and sweet.
How Many Times Can I Orgasm in One Saucy Session?
According to the experts, you can have as many as 20 orgasms in a row... but it’s not our place to put a limit on this, queens!
In the Girls Get Off community, some women have reported double-digit big-O’s in one session, while research has found that some women have had up to 100 in one very steamy encounter.
Whichever way you choose to experiment with big-O’s, we’re on your side, queen and so are our toys.
Check out the entire Girls Get Off range on our website.
THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY…..
Hiiii queens!! I’m Lillie Rohan, a Lifestyle and Entertainment journalist. I currently write for established publications such as NZ Herald, Metro.co.uk, The Mirror & of course, Girls Get Off. Along with all things pop culture, I love bringing you helpful info on all things relationship, sex and self pleasure, it’s a vibe! x