BDE has been around for a while but if you don't know what it is, it is the almighty, lust-inducing, spell-binding Big Dick Energy.
Does it mean you have to have a big dick? Absolutely not.
Do you have to have a big dick-sized ego? Not in this world, baby.
Well, then what is BDE?
Honestly, I thought it was one of those things you can't explain, like something you only know when you see it, but then a girl on Twitter said:
"It is the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10K knowing you got it in the bank," which is really all you need to know.
And because I spent my weekend watching Dylan O'Brien's new movie and going to Jack Harlow's concert, I'm now a bonafide simp for white guys with BDE.
So I've made a list of the top four skinny white guys that are absolutely going on my hall pass list when I get married.
Firstly, the OG, the man who started it all, the king of BDE; ladies and gentlemen, I present Pete Davidson.
It would be rude not to pay homage to the man who taught us what BDE actually means. From his six-foot-something statue to his lanky limbs, the boy might not gym six days a week or live on a diet of protein shakes and chicken and rice, but do the ladies care?
Something about Pete screams, "I'll tr(eat) you right," and if Ariana Grande's horny album about him and Kim Kardashian's PDA moments doesn't give you confidence, he would in fact be one of the best boyfriend's you could ever have at least respect he's a Scorpio which thanks to the Astro gods, means he is (probably) a top tier sex king.
Second on the list is someone who doesn't have the bold, slightly cocky, seasoned BDE of Pete but rather an "I didn't peak in high school; I'm still out here getting cuter", and I know it, BDE.
That's right, Jack Harlow embodies what can only be described as a swaggy big dick energy.
And sure, maybe it's because I was ovulating at the time of his concert - which, I've recently learnt, means you suddenly become a horny teen, and anything with a pulse is, oh my god, so fuckable.
Or maybe it's because he is genuinely a fine piece of man with confidence that isn't at all cocky but somehow gasp-inducingly good - he's like a hot boy with ugly boy manners and me oh my, he has a chokehold on me.
Pre-concert, if you told me I would be crushing the white boy of the month more than I ever did on my teen celeb crushes, I simply wouldn't believe you but now? Oh, now he is exactly what I'm looking for in a man.
Next on the list of white guys with maaaaad BDE is Harry Styles - particularly frat boy and long hair era Harry.
I know it's predictable. I know it's worth an eye roll, but honestly, do any of these BDE claiming white boys come a surprise to you? When you got it, you got it.
Despite walking around like a sparkly unicorn most of the time, Mr Styles has something dark hidden beneath the surface.
I can't explain it. I don't know what it is; maybe the smutty fan fiction leaving a taint on him.
But he made male femininity hot, he wore a dress on the cover of Vogue and looked hotter than any Chris Hemsworth thirst trap and sorry, but if you haven't seen the Tik Tok edits of him spitting water into the air at the same time, the beat drops, darling, you haven't lived.
I just know Harry would give you the best post bumpy cuddles snuggles ever. Last but certainly not least, Mr Slut Era himself, Dylan O'Brien. I'll admit, I slept on Dylan when he was being the hot, mysterious, bad boy villain in Teen Wolf and again in Maze Runner.
But I've repented for my sins by convincing myself not to get the ick when he goes full pick-me boy during the sex scene in his latest movie - no spoilers Queens but iykyk. And now that I've caught up on the drool-worthy TikTok edits and his hilarious and relatable tweets like "not flirting, just hot and talking" and the iconic "slut era", I'm an unapologetic simp for the man.While I could talk about all the skinny white boys with overwhelming BDE for hours, unfortunately, queens, that's all we have time for today.
Thanks for coming to my thirsty Ted Talk.
- By Lillie Rohan.