It’s spring, baby, and you know what that means?
Cuffing season is well and truly over. It’s now time to get your cute little dresses out, do your hair super nice, channel your inner romantic and get on that dating train.
I for one have never really been a big dater. I just recycle ex boyfriends but this year is the year of trying new things and letting go of the past, so I’ve finally done it and gone on a proper first date.
The night before the date I didn’t sleep - am I a child on Christmas Eve? Perhaps. The day of, I had so many butterflies in my stomach I felt like I may actually die. I considered cancelling approximately 10 times but after the bestie pep talk, I went and it was super cute.
Since I’m a writer who lives in a perpetual state of examination, here’s my breakdown of my 40 thoughts before a date:
- Omg he asked me on a date
- Better show all my friends his cutest pic
- He seems really nice and wholesome, am I ready to give up toxic men?
- It’s just one date you might not even like him
- But what if I do and I can’t partake in hot girl summer?
- We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it
- What am I going to wear? Something cute but also something that screams I’m down for a quick and dirty if you are
- I want to look the best I’ve ever looked
- Am I putting too much pressure on myself?
- Heels or flats?
- Flats are a safe bet… better clean my Nikes
- Time to practice my ‘wow no way’ face for when he tells me something I already know
- Actually I better go back through our messages so I can figure out what he has already told me and what I found out while IG stalking him
- I wonder if my mum would like him
- I wonder if our mums would like each other. It will be awkward at Christmas if they don't.
- Omg I wonder who will intimidate him more, my dad or my brothers
- I’m getting carried away
- He has to meet my friends first
- I know my bestie will eat him alive
- I just realised, when we date for real his ex gf will see me on his IG
- How will she feel about it?
- Am I hotter than her?
- Wait, am I the rebound?
- I better not be the rebound
- If I’m the rebound I’m definitely going to fall in love with him. Unavailability is my kink
- Okay, better get some sleep before the big day. Don’t want bags under my eyes
- Yeah, I’m not sleeping tonight
- I know, I’ll get Missy Mini out to help me relax - should I think about him while I’m getting off?
- Ooh yes, hot
- If he’s not into vibes, he’s cut getting cut from the roster
- Is it appropriate to ask about his kinks on the first date?
- Better leave that for the second date
- Why do I have butterflies?
- Okay managed to get a couple hours sleep, what a slay. Time for a shower
- I’ll shave my legs…. Do I shave everything else?… May as well, just in case.
- Cute dress? Check. Red underwear that you can kind of see through the dress? Check.
- Right time to order the Uber.
- One last time, am I sure I want to go?
- Yes. No. Maybe. No, yes, it’s a yes. Order the Uber
- If it’s good then fab, if not, it’s for the plot
- By Lillie Rohan