Weekly Quickie Episode 5: What Guys Need to STOP Doing on Dating Apps (and start doing instead!)

Jo (00:03.438)

You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast in all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self-loving, sex, orgasms and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the Mastination? Let's get into it. Hello and welcome to the Girls Get Off podcast. If you're new here, we are Viv and Jo, founders of sexual wellness brand Girls Get Off.

This season, the pot has had a bit of a glow up and we're excited to share with you our weekly segment, The Weekly Quickie. This is where we keep you updated on what's happening in the GGO world, what's new in electric toothbrushes and what's going on in our lives. We'll release an episode every Wednesday, so make sure you follow the podcast and do us a favor and share with your friends. On today's episode, I will be getting into what not to do.

for guys on their dating profiles. I've actually been enjoying these episodes because it's almost like we've cut out all of our dating updates from our normal chats. We sort of saved them all up for the podcast. So I'm always as excited as anyone listening to figure out what you've got next coming up on your plate. But first, tell us about what's been going on in your world in the business this week, Well, I usually...

I don't know, when dealing with China, can be quite stressful sometimes, I've found. Just the communication barriers and stuff. It's nothing's kind of like as simple as you would like it to be type of thing. And China went on holiday, so they have quite a few holidays each year, like the whole country. And

from Wednesday, they've been on holiday and I didn't realise how stressed I kinda was over the last week, like sorting out a few big things we've got going on. And I've kind of been like, like that's, it's kind of taken out the stressful part of my day. So it's nice. It's been nice, chipping away at jobs. And like having both been to China before and like not even being able to use Google Translate because it just doesn't translate.

Jo (02:21.78)

things properly. I feel like sometimes there's miscommunications if the person you're speaking to doesn't have enough English themselves about what something, you know, what they might be talking about and if they're using translators and stuff you can only imagine how things would be getting warped and so on. Especially like I feel like any other country in the world you'd show someone the translator and they're like, yeah sweet I get what you mean unless it's something super complex but like I remember trying to say where is the nail salon and getting someone to write in my phone.

where it was back to me it just didn't even make sense. It was like back out the back. I'm like, that doesn't make sense. We're in a five story shopping mall that I do not understand. Yep, totally. And one thing I've realized as well is that they always constantly trying to do the best for you, right? So everything they do has the best intention behind it. But that's also included

and they think their idea might be better than yours, you know, so you're like, okay, I want it like this. And they think, no, that's not pretty enough or something. I want to make it like this. And they think they're doing you a huge favour by going off track and doing something different. You're like, just like I asked, please. So anyway, anyway, they're great people and nice to have a break from this communication.

Yeah, nice. And on the flip side, in the sort marketing space, we are looking to pitch a story out at the end of the year. I guess at Girls Get Off, winter's always a really busy time for us because people are at home, they're not going out so much, they're not as occupied, they're not out spending their money at bars. So by the time it gets to Christmas, we kind of have to work a little bit extra hard to get in front of more people. And we we lucked it last year because the banks...

denied us opening a bank account, so we went, my god, this is perfect for media. And then this year, we've just been sort of trying to think up some good stories which we could pitch out to media. So Lily, our PR gal in-house, she's the best, has come back saying, how about we try and pitch out a story to media based off work Christmas party hookups. So I'm about to run some surveys on Instagram stories and say, have you ever got with someone at a workplace Christmas party?

Jo (04:38.51)

But what we want as well is your anonymous stories of it could be anything crazy, workplace hookups, if they went amazing, if they went really badly, so that we can pop wanna know who's hooked up with the boss. Yeah, we wanna know who's hooked up with the boss. Did it go well, did it not go well? Did you lose your job over it? Did you get a promotion? I don't know, anything like that. So if you are happy to share your anonymous stories, every anonymous story that comes through to jellylegz at girlsgetoff.com.

And for any that we share, will flick you a $50 store credit just to reiterate, it will be all anonymous, so safe as houses, but we would love to hear the gossip from you. All right. So after the last episode, well, in the last episode, I was going to give a dating update. And then after like Viv's story was too good and we were like, we'll do this next time. But in between that, I'm like,

It's actually the most boring update. You know, I've got, I haven't been on any dates as such. There was one profile that I was like, sparked my interest. You've downloaded the apps again. You're back for round two. Yeah. Well, I've kind of, haven't deleted them this time. So they've been going for about two weeks, which is probably a new record for me. Right. I'm using it as a boredom scroll. Like it's just kind of, I don't know why.

It's probably terrible. But like there was one profile that I was like, finally someone decent. Like he looks great. Did I swipe? Right? No, I just shut the app down and didn't swipe at all. I'm like, what do you mean? Like you look great. Like you're attracted to him. Yeah. But you know, just kind of like overall was a decent, looked like a decent person, you know, like I don't think attraction is the only thing I look for.

A lot of times like the attractive ones get the fastest left swipe because I'm like, no. But yeah, so anyway, boring updates because I do stuff like that and then I'm like, it's clear I'm not wanting to really date again, right? Like if I was in it, I wouldn't do shit like that. Anyway, so I have compiled a list. Now I've been like doom scrolling and just like.

Jo (07:01.194)

swiping my life away. you found the guy that you were attracted to and you swiped him away and that's it? I didn't even swipe him away because I didn't want to say no to him, but I didn't want to say yes to him. So I just shut the app. All right. Okay. Well, hopefully he comes back then. It's meant to me maybe he'll swipe used to you and he'll pop up on your likes ones or something. Exactly. Exactly. So instead I've compiled a list of things that I think guys need to stop doing on the apps because

I realized, you know, like we don't see other girls profiles. So I don't know what other girls are doing out there, but it's so clear that like the same stuff comes up over and over again with guys. And you're like, you really need to stop doing this. So I'm, I'm here to just like the don't dos of the dating profiles for me. Okay.

And this doesn't include like the fish pics or like the shirtless pics because that just goes without saying, right? Like don't do that. I've broken this down into categories. We have photos, bios, and the questions on hinge, like the question answering part. Okay. So the don'ts for photos are driving selfies.

Like, you the ones in the driver's seat, the glasses, like they're just obviously holding the camera out to the side. no. Photos? This is, I see this so much. You're going, like you're swiping down, like you're scrolling down and there's been like consistently for like three or four photos or something of the same looking person. And then you get to one that's obviously the most recent one.

and they're 10 years older and so much different. And I'm like, I think guys really need to, know, what's the like etiquette here? Is it like, I feel like five years is lenient. Like make sure your photos are less than five years old. Well, I think you just have to look the same. True. Yeah, that's good point. Some people might not have aged very much in five years. Someone might have had a...

Jo (09:19.628)

a rough ride or something and been in a different place and therefore, yeah. Switch the profile up. Yeah. So that's, that's a big one. I'm like, why'd you do that? the random picks, like, why am I going on there to see beaches and bush and cars? That's like a, I just don't even get it. you know why I think these, these things happen though, because I feel like for guys,

Like if we dress up nice, it's pretty standard. You get some photos or you know, someone's saying, oh, let's take some first traps, you know? And also because guys don't talk to often talk to their friends like we do saying, can you check my profile? What do you think of this photo? I can just imagine these guys left to their own devices going, I like the beach. They've got no context over what someone else might be posting on there. Or this is my car. I really hard for this, you know? So do you know what this is though? This is why more

guys and girls need to be friends with each other. That's what it comes back to because you need a girlfriend to order it for you. 100%. And that's, think that's like number one tip here. Hey, like go to your sister or something even, and just be like, scroll through this because I was leaning it here and I like, there's quite a few profiles that are just like the same selfie and different, you know, just to fill the photos up.

and they're just taking selfies. And I was like, that was my excuse for them. So I didn't add that on here because I'm like, they obviously didn't have a photo, like points for putting recent photos. Okay. And I'm like, this is, I left them to that. Like I gave them leniency, you know? But yeah, but this last one for the photos, professional pictures, professional photos.

That's too much. All professional photos though. just one or two. Like what if they've got their new identity? No, professional photos. when you can tell, there was somebody that I was so on the border that I wanted to talk to. Like we'd matched a few times before and I saw him keep popping up, keep popping up. And I couldn't bring myself to because I'm like...

Jo (11:43.502)

That looks too professional and you're kind of in the same outfit with just a jacket on in that next photo that looks professional. I'm like, that is a day photo shoot. If it looks like it was like a photo shoot by like a good girlfriend who was like, right, come on, we need to some photos. Or do you think it was like they booked a photographer either way or to stage to stage or last question. Maybe this is stereotyping, but I would expect this from like an American.

Yeah, if you were gonna get a professional shoot, you'd bring different outfits. You wouldn't do just a jacket over the top of something. Yeah, and then the natural poses of looking into the distance. wow. Maybe it was a previous engagement shoot and he's just cropped his X out. No, because it was at a cafe and then walking along a bridge.

And so, it's just a no. It's a red flag. I don't know if narcissist vibes or what, but I'm just like, keep it real. Keep it real. Keep it real. Okay, and I'll go through these bio tips quickly. Chat GPT bios that are straight copy and pasted, still with the last part that says, would you like me to...

Make it more. Put this in certain other way. What do you like me to make this as? What can we do to these poor souls to stop them from doing that? Oh, I don't know. mean, people are out there trying, but this is what I mean. You need to have more mixed gender friendships for this. This will help people with two, that's a whole different conversation, but people are missing out if they don't have friends of the opposite gender. Genuine actual friendships. And this is one of the reasons why they miss out.

Yeah, well, even like if you know a guy that's single, send them this podcast. Be like, check your bio to these tips. The other thing is over describing what they're looking for in someone. That's just like, some people like put that into detail and I'm like, is anybody ever going to tick all these boxes? It's such a just like, fuck that. I'm never going to live up to.

Jo (14:12.174)

Keep that one on your phone. Yes, yeah, yeah. They're the notes for your phone, you know, that you're manifesting, not to like go and list in your bio. Just something light would be great. People that have kids and when you say the number of kids you have, which is great, good information. So like, I have two kids, leave the next sentence of they are my world off.

Like goes without saying or come up with something original because the amount. Yeah. It's an instant left swipe when it's like a name my world. was like, too cliche. Awesome. Yeah. And then the last one is add me on Snapchat. yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Red flag, especially like I can see that maybe in your twenties or something I can possibly, you know, depends what you're looking for.

In your 40s? No. I would also add to that if people have their Instagram bio in a hinge profile, and they go, I'm not on here much, add me, you know? I'm like, immediately you're just trying to get followers. You're just trying to get followers. I actually spoke to a guy the other day who said, I've been getting so many followers. He is literally a model.

And he said, I've been getting so many followers, I've got a new like strategy. He's like, I just put it in my hinge profile. I was like, Dom, is the immediate, I'm like, if I see someone with their username in their hinge profile, I go, no, thank you. You know? If you're looking for a relationship, not the way to go. It's a big standout for me in the questions. Like these are the things for me basically that I see them.

I don't go any further. I'm like left, gone. The question, the best way to ask me out and when they answer, just ask. Just ask. Yeah. Yeah. So. So good. So this is my top tips. I did have one do. Yeah, because I was going to say on the flip side, what attracts you to people's profiles? What like.

Jo (16:33.772)

I like that, I like that, I like that. What's your first do? My first do is when they have a pic with their pet. Nice, nice. I feel like a lot of times guys will have pictures with anyone's pets, just for a few puppy photos. That's fine. I'm like, if you like animals, it's a big tick. So that's a good thing to have in the profile. And nothing else.

What about if they're out doing something? Like I often like it if I can see they're with people, not all group shots, but I like seeing that they have interests or hobbies that always like keeps me more interested or curious about someone. Yeah, definitely. I guess I haven't pinpointed yet. Like it's so few and far between for me. I like genuine profiles, right? The real pics, the real answers where you can see that

it's actually coming from them. Gosh, what did I, I actually screenshot someone's answer the other day to something. And I was like, that's just so nice. do you know what it was? The question was on our first date or something, what are you picking on the menu? And this guy said the second option you were tossing between, I'll take one for the team and order it so you can have both your choices. And I was like,

Probably got that off chat GPT, but that one got me. Yeah, I like any kind of prompt that sparks a conversation. So if it's like a would you rather or if someone says, yeah, or if someone says like in my hinge bio, used to have like, what's your favourite type of butter or something random like that, just out of the box or something that's a little bit funny. That always makes me curious. like, you know, candid shots from your mate's wedding album.

put those in there or like if you've dressed up for something or if you're playing sport or all these kinds of things, feel are good. Like, perfect. And when you are commenting, I think this one's hinge, hey, when you can comment on a photo instead of just like swiping. So if you're commenting on someone's photo as well, I wouldn't just say like gorgeous pic.

Jo (18:59.838)

There's nothing to come back to. You know what I mean? Like the one person I have like answered back to one of those things was that last guy I was seeing a few months ago. And he like commented on my cold toast, like that I like cold toast or something. He was like with Vegemite and it's just like different. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Something so simple, but it isn't just like

Cute pick. Because otherwise I think on dating apps you end up having the same conversation with a hundred different people. Hi, hi, how are you? How are you? God, don't look at my phone for three days. I'll go back to it. No momentum. yeah, anything that is just like a little bit off beat. I mean, now you have chat GBT, right? So just get rid of your things. And if you need a bit of inspiration, like by all means just anything different to get the conversation started. yeah, exactly. Exactly. But yeah, just.

pick what parts from ChatGPT you're copying and pasting. And it's funny to know what other, like other people would be interested in such different things. Like for example, if I saw someone who was like flashing their wealth around or had like cars or was showing like their Rolex or something like that, that would turn me off. But I know guys who have profiles like that and I know that they just are going for a different target customer and it really works for them. So.

I think it also is fascinating to see. I think at the end of the day though, if people, like if the guy who's taking lots of photos by himself, just like, almost feel, I'm like, oh, poor guy, doesn't have anyone to ask to take photos of him, or maybe he feels uncomfortable about it or something, you know? Yeah, when we first met, remember, we went and did a dating profile, like, photo shoot thing for me, and we went and got McDonald's and ate it down at the beach. Oh yeah, the picnic.

Yeah, the picnic at the beach with McDonald's, just like, just to get a couple, because I had zero photos of myself. So get a friend that you know is on the dating apps and help them out and go get some pics. Look at their profile. your girl, don't ask your girl, like if it's a guy listening, you've to ask your girlfriend because we're a girl, mate, they'll be into it. A guy friend has got probably equal chance of being like...

Jo (21:18.542)

Oh no, like, oh, what do you want? Is this all good? You know? I should probably take our own advice and go show a guy my profile. Yeah, 100%. And get a guys review. Yeah. Yeah. Cause haven't done that either. So I'm all judgy on every one else. I have one question for you though, because I feel like I've seen this a few times in different piss take videos of the flip where the guys are taking the piss out of like all the same things in the girls' buyers. Does your buyer have anything about marks in it?

Do you say that you like a spicy Marg or anything? No. Okay, good. I know that your LinkedIn tagline had some Marg enthusiasts, which is different from LinkedIn, but on Hinge, I know that that's something that guys will take the piss out of being like, what's your drink or drink or what do you order? I don't even know, but like spicy Marg. Oh, that's so funny. pizza as a really common one that they're like, oh, for God's sake.

True, and it's funny, because that LinkedIn bio, I just don't use it, but that was when somebody was doing my page for me. Remember? That was ahead of its time though. That was ahead of its time before I feel like everyone started putting spicy marks or Negronis on their I can't even see my My prompts are never have I ever lied, playing never have I ever. So like never have I ever. god, that's with a brain gym. Yeah, nice.

Lie playing, never have I ever. And the other question is simple pleasures. And my answer is cold toast, wildly underrated. Nice. And my most irrational fear is being the one responsible for choosing the music, which is just very honest, because I hate that job. Nice. Yeah, those are all quite good. And like the cold toast is quite controversial, you know, which is kind of what you want. Yeah, that's the one that, yeah, gets the most hits, I'd say. OK, let's wrap this up.

Amazing, all right, well if anyone's got any feedback about Hinge Profiles, want to add to that conversation, let us know. And just a little announcement, that starting in October, the weekly quickie episode of every month is gonna include your wild and funny anonymous stories. So this month, we want to hear about your petty or funny breakup revenge stories. So you can send them in to jellylegs at girlsgetoff.com and every submission that we share will get a $50 store credit.

Jo (23:36.33)

If you've enjoyed today's podcast, make sure you share it with your friends. Follow us wherever you listen to your podcasts and you can get in touch with us at Girls Get Off on Instagram, TikTok, Girls Get Off, Uncensored on Facebook. We'll see you next week. Bye.