Why an emotional boner will lead to the best sex of your life.
Emotional boners might be the secret to having the best sex of your life and I’ve got the heartwarming reason why.
Last week a GGO queen took to the Girls Get Off Uncensored Facebook Group to share an intimate and incredibly relatable story that immediately struck a chord within the community. For this absolute legend of a human has identified what I like to call an emotional boner.
The anonymous group member asked the community if anyone else had experienced mind blowing “whole other level” kind of sex even though they “barely move” during the X rated act and it turns out it’s happening a lot.
Replies from fellow GGO members included “IYKYK”, “that’s what making love is” with one person even describing it as "soul sex", leading me to wonder if the secret to a memorable big-O is completely dependent on how large and in charge your emotional boner is.
If you’re in the dark about what I’m actually talking about, Urban Dictionary describes an emotional boner as, “that feeling you get when you are head over heels over someone. Or whenever you are emotionally charged, usually involving a significant other.”
Now, as a single, gen-z gal who tends to recycle sub-par hook ups, I was initially hesitant to believe such a nuclear emotion could exist but the more I thought about the more I found myself admitting how much better a hook-up is when I have an emotional connection with the person and how swoon worthy things get when they make me feel like the only girl in the world.
While the alternative - them treating our hook-up as a means to an end, results in a huge hit to the ego, sooty p-n-v energy and a couple of deflated tears the next day.
And it seems I’m not the only one who found this, earlier this month when I was at a girl's dinner, the conversation naturally dove head first into bumpy cuddle territory and what makes a good time, a great time. A couple of wines in, the majority ruled that the best sex happens with people who you have emotional connections because you feel safe, cared for and more easily understood.
Case and point, one friend said she had recently seen her friend with benefits and after taking it off and getting it on, he understood the aftercare assignment. Instead of rolling over to fall asleep, he instead channelled his inner Casanova and asked about her week, cuddled her, took an interest and made her feel special. The surprising bout of affection led to a passionate round two because she was so turned on knowing he was there for her and not just her body.
They parted ways feeling emotionally and physically fulfilled, an ideal hook-up situation if I’ve ever heard of one.
And just in case you’re still not sold on the importance of an emotional boner during bumpy cuddles, another friend, who is in a committed long-term relationship said she could never do casual sex because she feels like there is a huge lack of connection which is what she finds most enjoyable during sexual acts. All of these opinions now have me convinced that emotional boners are what make sex “mind blowing”.
So while casual sex can be a great way to scratch an itch, I’ve come to the conclusion that emotional boners are in for the win this year and I for one will not be wasting any more energy on people who make me feel all kinds of rollercoaster emotions post bumpy cuddles. It’s living la vida loca or nothing.
— By Lillie Rohan.