Alright you bootilicious queens, gather 'round. You’ve got curiosity, you’ve got lube, you’ve got vibes. Now let’s chat theory without the boring uni-lecture energy.

Booty play is one of the most delicious, toe-curling little detours you can take in the bedroom and like anything happening behind closed doors, it deserves consent, education, and a warm-up that would put your yoga class to shame.

So if you’re wondering where to even start… you’ve come to the right place. We sat down with Alex Hall, aka. The Bottom's Digest to get the answers to your booty questions. 

What Is Anal Training?

No one likes a super complex answer that leaves them more confused than when they started, so here’s the basics straight from our booty expert: anal training is basically helping the two sphincters in your anus learn how to relax so penetration feels good, like really, really good. 

Here are the two players:

• External sphincter: voluntary muscle; you control it.
  

• Internal sphincter: involuntary; runs the show on its own and needs coaxing.
  

Training usually starts with fingers, then moves to dilators or toys that get gradually bigger (don’t rush this step, girl, your booty will suffer). 

How Do I Know I’m Ready for Booty Play?

Once you’ve dabbled in anal training and you think you’re ready for the real deal, Alex says there’s one test you need to pass: Do you have any pain? If the answer is yes, you need to dabble in a bit more anal training. 

If the answer is no, it’s time to move to the next step. 

Despite all the stigma, myths and rumours you may hear, anal play should never hurt (seriously, just read this entire blog post on it). If you do feel pain, it’s quite literally your body saying, “Hey queen, we’re not ready for that yet.”

So if you feel discomfort, go backwards: add more lube, play around a lot more with your fingers, and engage in more gentle warming up.

What do beginners to booty play and anal sex need to do?

This one’s exciting. Welcome to the butt-clock technique, created by the one and only Dr. Carlton. It’s the perfect warm-up, and this is exactly how you do it: 

1. Lube your finger like you’re trying to sponsor a slip ’n slide.
   

2. Gently insert the tip and take a deep breath.
   

3. Press at 12 o'clock for 30–60 seconds.
   

4. Do the same at 3, 6, and 9 o’clock.
   

5. Gently pull your finger out, re-lube, go a little deeper, repeat.
   

Alex describes it as a yoga for your butthole. Slow, relaxing, and a lil pleasurable.

How Do I Level Up? Is it With Fingers? Toys? 

Girl, it’s not either or, it’s both.

Start with:

• Your fingers
  

• The butt-clock technique
  

• Deep breaths and a lot of lube (when you think you've got enough, get some more)
  

Then move to:

• A small borosciliate glass or metal dilator
  (so you can use silicone lube - aka the Anal Queen of Lubes, and put into practice everything you learn in this video.)
  

Lube actually matters more than you think. If you’re using silicone toys, you can only use water-based lube; otherwise, you’ll risk damaging them. If you use water-based lube for booty play, you’ll need to reapply a LOT, as your booty will just soak it up. 

This is because unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate and the mucus lining in the anus also drinks up water-based lube like crazy so it needs to be reapplied way more often, something that, when you’re in the heat of the moment and hormones are in full swing, you may not think about and that can cause some serious friction in the area.

Basically, silicone lube is the gold standard for anal play, but don’t let that be an excuse to just use one drop! You still need more lube than you think. When you think you have enough, one or two more pumps will quite literally not hurt anybody. 

Myth Busting: Do I Really Need to Douche Before Booty Play or Anal Sex?

Short answer: Nope.
Long answer: still nope, but this time with science.

The truth is, you don’t need to douche, but you do need to have enough fibre in your diet because:

• Fibre stimulates pooping by adding bulk to stool and making it easier to pass. 

• Poop is stored in the sigmoid colon, not the rectum.
  

• When you go #2, it cleans your rectum, which usually makes it clean enough for anal play.
  

• Over-douching messes with your mucus lining, gut health, and can trap water that makes a surprise appearance during cowgirl. We don’t want that.
  

Instead, try the dip-stick method:

Pop a clean small toy in (like Peaches), pull it out, check if everything’s clean.

If yes, skip the douche.
If no, do a gentle rinse.

More Booty Myths We Need to Retire

There are honestly so many, and most stem from decades of shame and stigma surrounding booty play, so let's break them down.

Myth: Anal should be spotless.

The reality is that porn lied. They have countless cuts and edits that make it look like a perfect bit of intimacy, but anal is a little bit messy, and that is completely normal.

Myth: Starving yourself keeps your rectum clean.

No. Just no. Eat, queen. You need energy to ride, you need fibre to form solid stool, and you need to avoid disordered eating like the plague. Here’s a video with even more info on why you need to eat pre-booty play. 

 

Myth: You need an extreme douche routine.

Nope, nope, nope. If you do this, you’ll risk messing up your digestion AND your prep, which only fuels the stigma that prepping for anal sex is supposed to suck. 

It can also strip the rectum of the mucus lining, creating a vicious cycle for your bowel movements and future prep sessions and throws off your natural bowel regularity, potentially leading to douching dependency as well as making your bowel movements harder to predict. 

If you’re a visual learner, we’ve got you, girl. Here’s a vid from Alex with all the details!

Myth: Prep should be an exhausting ordeal.

If prep feels like a circus act, something’s off.

Alex suggests learning the bowel-triggering foods that cause you the most discomfort within 30-60 minutes after consumption. As well as that, stay hydrated, get your fibre, and chill.

As a Woman, How do I Overcome Anxiety, Shame, or Pressure When it Comes to Booty Play or Anal Sex?

Alex says that there’s one secret when it comes to this, and that is solo time.

The more time you spend exploring your own body, the more you can:

• Figure out how your body opens and relaxes
  

• Notice what makes you tense up
  

• Helps you to stop fixating on mess
  

• Learn what feeling “ready” for the next step truly feels like
  

• Practice breathing (box breathing = anal magic)
  

Once you’re comfy solo, inviting someone else in becomes way less scary.

What About For the Men: How Do They Not Ruin the Vibe? 

Men’s biggest anal mistake is going in hot and fast.

The vagina and anus, just like any muscle, take time to open up. Everybody is different with different levels of tightness, different stressors in life, fluctuating diet, and that’s why Alex strongly suggests dabbling in solo anal training so that you can communicate with your partner (yes, even a hookup) how much time and effort you’ll need to open up.

You can tell your man:

• Patience is sexy
  

• Warm-up is mandatory
  

• Use fingers or small toys first
  

• It doesn’t have to be awkward, don’t make you sit there like you’re in a waiting room
  

• Join in the fun, mutual pleasure helps you relax faster
  

Foreplay = fore-widening. We said what we said.

How Do I Know I’m Actually Ready for Bigger Toys or Anal Sex?

We'll let you in on a sneaky little secret Alex shared: you can actually feel your anal sphincters relax and open up. He says just like getting a massage and feeling the muscle knot melt away, the same thing happens with your booty. 

And it goes both ways; if things feel tight or stuck, you know to go smaller, breathe more, and use more lube.

Forcing anything is like taking three steps backwards; it draws out the entire process and annoys your future self.

So, What Now? 

Now you go forth and play, girl. Thanks for reading your complete, shame-free, beginner-friendly guide to anal training.

And remember, with the right lube, the right warm-up, and a vibe that stays slow and intentional, anal can go from intimidating to very enjoyable. Just remember to explore solo, learn your signals, take your time, and trust your body. When your booty is ready… you’ll know.

Happy training, queen. Your booty’s about to enter her extra peachy era.