Vibrator Theft!

You're listening to the Girls Get Off podcast, an R18 podcast on all things female pleasure. Think girl talk, but real girl talk, where we chat all things masty, self loving, sex, orgasms and more. Nothing is off limits, which means you get all the secrets, even our guests BFFs don't know. We're on a mission to make talking about getting off as fun as actually doing it. Ready to join the Mastination? Let's get into it. 

Hi, everyone! Welcome back to the Girls Get Off podcast. Great to be back. So today, what we have planned is some chats about vibrator theft, which is going to be pretty exciting. And it seems like quite a random topic, but actually this has happened to me. So I thought, oh my God, I'll tell the story and surely we can bring in some listener or listener, some. Follow us submissions to this because surely I'm not the only one who's experienced vibrated theft. Yeah, so we put it up on our stories and you're definitely not the only one. I know. And so what we've done anyway is we got them to email their stories through to Maya and we haven't read them yet. Yeah, so we're hoping that we'll get good reactions from us. Yeah, we've got three each sitting in front of us that we're going to read out today. But I suppose my, so my story and what happened was probably, it must have been, it wasn't, it was two years ago now, it would have been 2020. Yeah, 2020 I was down at the snow and I got this text on my phone and I got an email from Westpac saying that my card had been deactivated or something for like fraudulent transactions and I was like, wait that's super weird, I think that's the card I left at home. And sure enough, we'd gone, we sent some friends over and we'd been robbed, unfortunately. But moving forward, we came back from the snow and we were taking the cops through our house because you've sort of got to walk through and go, this has been moved, this has been touched, oh, that's not in its place. And while we were doing this, I said to them, look, I'm starting a vibrator business. So there are like quite a few vibrators in my bedside drawer. While they're all doing their dusting for fingerprints. And... As I'm walking through, I didn't really take much notice. And as I was standing outside waiting with my flatmate, I said to one of the cops, I said, did you check my bedside drawer? And he said, no. And I said, can I just go back in again? Because in my mind, I just had this thought that I didn't see the pink color through the little drawer opening bit. And I went back in and I was like, oh my God, they're all gone. And they had taken all my vibrators. all the batteries, I hadn't even opened them because we were doing all this product testing for girls get off and I was like, where's my pillowcase? They had full on taken off reverse Santa, taking my pillowcase and honestly, we were just crying with laughter. The cops were in hysterics. Meanwhile, Laura had... We're gonna have to post the video again on our socials so you can see behind the scenes. I know Laura took a Snapchat of the cops. fingerprinting, like dusting the drawers. But she had like cash left in her room and stuff. Honestly, it was as if they'd found these vibrators and then gone, yahoo, and then like taken off. They, Carl. Yeah, yeah, the culprit. And like the funniest part was that, A, these two cops were just like in hysterics. We were all just laughing, like cry laughing. And they were also telling us another story about how they'd been to, I don't know. a theft place or whatever and this dog had like, had taken, what happened? This dog had, I actually don't know the full story so that's not a good story. They went to like a theft and then there was a dog who'd like stolen this dildo or whatever and this lady wanted her dildo back and it was all just quite wild. But anyway, long story short, they wouldn't stop calling that my merchandise, they wouldn't say the word vibrator and then when they finally did find out who it was, I ended up getting my like... my MacBook Pro, like my 2019 MacBook Pro back and nothing else. I was like, they didn't give back the vibrators, not that I want them back, but obviously that was like a prize possession, so it was all very funny. So here we are, and that's what led us to this episode of hearing more about people's vibrator theft. I remember when we went to collect your stolen items. Yeah. I'm not sure if I should say his name, but Constable Singh had. Constable Singh was the man. Yeah. He was such a legend. went in to collect the stolen items and he's like, this is all that was there, we're like, sure, constables. We were like, I was like, did you ask about the vibrators? He's like, he's like, had a little chuckle and he was like, yes, he says those are gone. And also when, honestly, he was so funny. I was on the phone to him and he'd been like, the guy has, he's got your MacBook Pro, and he's gonna give it back and he's got a bike here. I'm like, he can keep the bike because, Also, backstory, I'd been on Mount Main Street and I'd seen the guy who'd robbed us with the bike from the shit in our house and I'm like, oh for fuck's sakes. Like it was just this ongoing palaver really, but that's okay. Yeah, and I missed the part where the, yeah, we moved out the week of, and then they squatted in our house. Yeah, didn't he paint the fridge in it? Yeah, painted the fridge from the, I had leftover paint from a sharp costume I made and that just got like, they painted the oven, the fridge. It was just a wild ride, but you know, RIP those vibrators, I've had to replenish my stocks and that's okay, lucky we've got plenty of Missy Minis. Do you wanna go first with your first story? All right. I'm very excited for this, I don't know what to expect. I know, I know, so I've got this piece of paper in front of me that is turned upside down and I have not read it. Okay. So I had my most favourite Missy Mini and still had it hidden away in the box. I was doing long distance at the time. My now ex had stolen my Missy Mini thinking it was new and gave it to the girl. He was cheating. Stop it! No! What? Oh my gosh, she was horrified when I let her know. Oh my gosh. Stop it. That is. What an idiot. Well like, oh she will never notice that this is gone. No. But like, stealing, stealing. Oh my gosh, I'm speechless. Now I'm realizing this is just gonna, there's gonna be like no closure on some of these stories cause I wanna ask what happened. I know that's wild. Thinking it was new. She must have kept it in the box. It's testament to our nice packaging. And like what a catch that guy is, can't even buy. Yeah. I don't know more what happened after that. Oh. Imagine. Oh, it might not have been a guy, hold on, just his ex. Oh my gosh. That is wild. That's wild. That reminds me of the other day. We were up here in the lunchroom. Rob was going through, so we share a warehouse space with a couple of other businesses. Tash has Tastefully Studios Photography and Rob has Mitchell's Nutrition. Anyway, Rob was going through the recycling bin to like make sure there wasn't any plastic in there and he literally opened the studio box and held up this vibrator to Maya to be like this is not recyclable. And Maya was like, that is used. She had someone send it back so we could see how loud it was and oh my god that was so funny. I've never seen him more mortified. I still can't believe that sending it back. So like I don't care how loud it was. That is so funny. Okay. Oh my gosh. Use vibrators. Yeah, not the goods. What a first starter though. Okay. So I got my very first Durex bullet vibrator from Countdown. It was a purple and about the length. It was purple and about the length of my middle finger. Anyway, I was staying at my ex-girlfriend's place one night and had the bullet with me for a bit of fun on the side with her rabbit vibrator. So one of our close friends came by to hang out. Oh, ex-girlfriends, okay, this is confusing. Well, after she left, the mood was set and we ventured off to the bedroom and both of our vibrators were gone. As it turns out, our friend had taken both of them and we found them in her drawer a few days later when we went to her place. Safe to say we left them there and our friendship at the door. I'm confused, so. I'm confused. So I was staying at my ex-girlfriend's place. So she invited a mutual friend over to her ex-girlfriend's house when she was hanging out and they were going to get it on. Oh. And then they had, god, this is so confusing. What? Like, so the person she invited over took them? Oh, right. Okay, no, so she was going to sleep with her ex-girlfriend. Because after she left, so after the friend who came by to hang out left, the mood was set and we ventured off to the bedroom and both of our vibrators were gone. our friend had taken both of them and we found them in her drawer a few days later when we went to her place. So her and her ex-girlfriend are hanging out, they invite a mutual friend over, the mutual friend comes over, they'll hang out, blah, the friend leaves and then they can't find their vibrators. So the friend has come over, taking the vibrators. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't call her a friend. Yeah, God, that is theft. That's like. That was very confusing. But just, yeah, like straight out theft. Oh my God. Imagine that, imagine inviting someone over. And they take your boyfriend. I was like, are you sleeping with your mutual friend in your ex-girlfriend's bed? I was like, I don't understand. Okay. Wow. And there's a few parts to that story. So living with the ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Alrighty. Next one. Okay, here we go. Oh, this one has a name. I'm guessing. Oh yeah, you can say who it's, you can say. All right. That's from me from. This one was sent in by Alice. Thank you, Alice. Hope you're listening, Alice. My ex was cheating on me the entire time we were together. Hardly got laid myself, so invested in an SP2 towards the end. He never knew about it. When he moved out, got kicked out, he decided to take the most annoying things, like one pillowcase from memory sheets. Oh. All batteries and all charging cords. Thankfully, never knew about the SP2, but my charging cord was on the ground and he took it. Oh my god. The biggest F-U moment was it died right as I was about to squirt. Oh my gosh. That would have been a funny thing to do in a breakup if you hadn't have been the one treating the whole time. Do you know what I mean? Like if she'd have, If he'd have been cheating the whole time and then cheat had been like, I'm gonna take one pillowcase from every sheet set, then I was like, that would have been like, well, that's good payback, you know? But it's, what? How, why do you cheat on you that much? Oh my gosh. You can't cheat on someone and then like screw them around. Oh my gosh, this poor, poor Alice. Oh my gosh, Alice. Oh my god. Should we hook Alice up with a messy Minnie? Yeah, Alice needs to be a messy Minnie. All right, Alice, we're gonna be in contact and get a messy Minnie with an extra charger to you. Oh my gosh. Far out, could you believe it? I'm gonna get you mad. Okay, next one. I have an interesting one for you all. So my partner and I have recently moved into his mum's house in the interim between houses. We have all our items and suitcases and I had placed our toy bag, eight different toys, lubes and condoms, in my pillowcase with my pillow to keep it safe. God, sounds like a, sounds like a robber. So the pillowcase falls off and the bag has just gone missing. Days and days of searching every nook and cranny, unpacking and packing the suitcases to not find it. We are 99.9% certain his mother has taken it as she's been going through our stuff being nosy. No idea how to ask her about the lost bag of sex toys. Eek. Oh no. Um, I reckon don't give up because we were going to have Sheree on the podcast today, but she's doing a photo shoot and she thought she had her vibrator stolen. We were like, like six months ago, ages ago, and she found them in a suitcase under the bed in the spare room. Like she'd tidy, like done this massive cleanup for some reason and just, um, hidden them away and then completely forgot about them. So I have my fingers crossed, don't give up hope on the vibes, but it is bloody awkward. Oh my gosh, it does remind me though of that time. My dad went and cleared out all my stuff from my house. I had forgotten at the time that there was, and it was a decent bag too, cause I went to one of those sex toy parties and stuff, like early 20s. And the lady was smart. She brought wine and just kind of got us a little wasted and then I decided to buy like the whole catalog so I had a decent bag of sex toys and Yeah, have never brought that up to this day. Sounds kind of yeah, and what your dad found them or he well I don't know. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna ask I'm not gonna ask I just know that they were in that house that he cleared out. Oh my god Far out, yeah, so fingers crossed. Otherwise, I vote just ask her, ask her straight up. That'd be quite funny. And also, you know, we're all here for normalizing that. Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to see the reaction there. All right, what else have you got? I'm out. Oh, you're done? Oh, she must've given me another one. So you've got three, I've got two. Yeah. Cool. Okay, a couple of years ago, my house got burgled. My vibrator and a few other bits and pieces were taken, along with other household items. I claimed insurance for the vibrator thinking it would all be done by email. But no, an insurance assessor turned up at my place and I had to go through each item that was taken showing photos slash receipts or pictures. My online shopping! I was dying inside but I didn't let my embarrassment show. The guy was pretty hot, we got talking so I could find out if he was single and found out we grew up in the same area in a remote part of the North Island. Unfortunately he had a girlfriend and as I was ready to pounce it absolutely would have gone there. Oh my god! Oh my gosh, far out. That is so funny. I'm sure after seeing what you'd been purchasing, he would have been keen to. Oh my gosh. That's so funny. Imagine, far out. I've never had an insurance, oh I think, I had an insurance assessor turn up at our house once when I'd blow up the kitchen bench. But otherwise I've always done things online. Blow up the kitchen bench? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Imagine me as a child. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Yeah, but imagine that. No, I've definitely always done my insurance claims online. Yeah, yeah, mine have just been over the phone. That's so funny. God. That's so funny. That's so good. You go, girl, try and live that embarrassing show. Wish she was single for you, but excellent. What a good outcome. Yeah, yeah, fantastic. Oh, well, that brings us to the end of the Vibrator Theft episode. Actually, we'll have to redo this in a few months or a year or something. I reckon a few, there'll be some more stories out there. That first one was my favourite, I think. What was yours? What was it? The one with the ex-girlfriend and the girlfriend? No, no, no. The guy that stole it. Oh yeah, that's wild. Yeah, I'm so glad she let her know though. That's so good. Good move. Yeah, great move. Anyway, if you've enjoyed the podcast, make sure you leave us a rating and a review. and share it to your Instagram story if you love it that much so we can get the word out about the Girls Get Off podcast. But thanks for listening and keep an eye out on our Instagram stories where we'll be asking for submissions for different topics that we wanna talk about. Have you got anything else to add? I think just, were we going to give away a vibe each week to someone that leaves a review for us? Yeah, let's do that. So ratings and reviews really help us. We wanna get in those top charts, so we'll give away a Vibrated to Funny review. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll pick our favourite with you each week. We'll pick our favourite, yeah. Sounds good. Awesome, thanks for listening.