Up Your Dating Game in 2023 with Lillie Rohan

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Hello and welcome back to the Girls Get Off podcast. our very special Lily, who is our copywriter as well, joining us. We will be talking all things trends with dating in 2023, the how-to's. Woohoo. I feel like this is so fitting because we did the podcast earlier in the year where we were sort of like, what should you look out for dating this year? And now we're recapping. Yeah. We are, we are. And so you've got one to kick us off then, Lily. I do. Okay. So ghosting is still alive. It's still well, and it's still happening all the bloody time. Have you guys ever been ghosted? Of course. I, yeah, definitely. Jo's the ghoster. I'm also a ghoster. Me too. It's just so much easier than being like, sorry, I don't want to see you. I even think I gave you that advice one time, didn't I? Yeah. I was saying this guy earlier in the year and I was like, ah guys I don't want to see him anymore, but I don't know how to break up with him. Joe was like, yeah You know, no, just ghost him. It'll be fine You wanted to let him down really nicely and I'm like, oh fuck that I actually hit a similar situation and my housemate and I would be going on hinge dates And I went on a date with this guy and I was like, oh I'm not into it so I'll just tell him. And I just said like, had a fun time but I'm just not seeing like a dating spark, blah blah. My housemate was like, what? You said what? Was along those lines, the message. And anyway, I was like, it's the way to go. Whereas he was out there like, just like slipping away into the darkness, ghosting around. But then he tried my strategy and it was a great time. Well, I feel like mine has come because I used to try to like slowly slip away, but then I'm like, I feel sorry for them and I go and see them. And then I've ended up in long term relationships and I'm like, what the fuck? So I'm just like, OK, bye. And slowly slipping away and I was thinking that is the same thing. I mean, just message him and say, I'm just not into it. No, no, stuff that. Because then they try and like talk you into it. Have you never had that? Like. Oh, see, Lilies had that. No, you just don't give it an option, you know? Had a really great time. Yeah, thanks so much. But no, you remember that. I said, enjoy your hinging, actually. That's why I said it even more. What was that guy's name? Hold on, I wondered, this was from a couple of years ago, but I never delete my messages. Oh, that's right, and he said- Remember this? Oh, look, I've still got the messages. He's like, I was so straight up and like- What did you say, though? Ready, I was like, oh, fuck. Here we go. I said, it's not gonna happen, sorry. You know, that was just a boozy Saturday night. And he was like, oh, fair enough, God loves a trier. And I was like, sorry, you picked the wrong girl to try on. And then he goes on to say, so if I was to ask you to waste my time again, would my persistence prevail or not? Anyway, this was after like so many messages. that was like, huh, not sure if you actually like my persistence or actually want me to go. And I was like, awkward, but no, I'm totally. You did say bye, haha. I'm like, totally wasting your time. You should probably just say bye. Like, so I have tried that and I'm like. Oh no, in particular, you did, you do, but this was his, I feel like I am totally a waste of your time, so you should probably just say bye. It's gotta be, it's just gotta be black and white. Yeah, clean cut. Like, come on, this is after this many messages of me saying like, like even the morning I woke up next to him I was like, oh that was a mistake, like. Oh my gosh. Like, they just, I don't know, ghosting is the way to go. Ghosting and the mutual ghost is the best kind of ghost, because there's two types, right, like there's the type where both of you are like, okay, don't, like they were fun but don't really want to see each other again and then you just never talk, but you like randomly view each other's Instagram stories. And then there's like the full ghost where you're seeing someone you think it's great, it's amazing and then boom they're gone. They're just gone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. See, I feel like it just takes away so much hassle, right? I guess it probably isn't nice to be that ghosted. Yeah, but yeah, I'm coming from a place where like I'm fine with being ghosted because I'm just like, oh, that would happen anyway. Like, I'm a psycho. I am a psycho. I need to close the book. I'm like, why did you ghost me? Why did you do that? You told me that you liked me. I'm like, is it stupid that I believed you? I need the closure. But I feel like being ghosted is the closure, right? No, because I'm like, do you have a girl friend? Black and white, yeah. Yeah, just come out and be honest. I think mine was like- I suppose it just depends the situation, you know? Like if you'd- It just depends. If you don't send it for each other a few times, then like, you know, all good. But if it had been a while, then that's it. Yeah. If it's been like, maybe we can make a rule. Like if it's been three times, you're good to ghost. But if it's been like three months, you're good to ghost. Not good to ghost. No, no, not good to ghost. Oh, shit. Yeah, no, I wasn't doing, yeah, I wasn't saying that. It's definitely just like a one-timer thing. Like just kind of like a, you know, like not brilliant and then just ghost, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but no, I don't take offense to someone that ghosts me either, but I think I'm the minority, right? But maybe if it had been like a three month, you'd been seeing them. Well, I just think that's fucking rude. Like would anybody do that? Yeah, totally. Well, I feel like some people do. Do they? I feel like some people do. Oh my gosh. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, well I'd go full psycho on them too, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm like, I need to know. Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah. Why would you do this to me? Yeah. Okay. The next one on our list. The next one on our list is bread crumbling. Okay. Have you heard of bread crumbling before? I have. Yeah. And I hadn't before this. So explain away, Lily. Okay. So I'm pretty guilty of this myself. Breadcrumbing is when you don't really like someone romantically but you like their attention and you basically flirt with them every now and then just to keep them interested. I love your honesty. Like if you have a work crush. I love it because like if you have a work crush or something and you know that they're moving on, you know work banter is a bit... Have you guys worked in like corporate spaces where there's heaps of you and there's always someone your age and there's always like this vibe? And then they're like, oh, you know, I've started seeing this girl or whatever. And you're like, excuse me, what the hell? I thought we were gonna shack up. But like you were never gonna shack up. It's just like in that environment. And then you just kind of break her on the light. You just flirt with them at the, what is it called? Water cooler chat? Water cooler. You just chat with them there. You flirt with them a bit. You like send them memes during the day on Slack. Oh my gosh, I love it. I don't think Jo and I, or I have worked in the corporate environment, although you did work at a bank, didn't you? That's corporate. Yeah, but I wasn't flippin' with anyone. Oh, come on. That's so funny. But I think I've probably experienced this. If I'm not into someone, I don't want them to get the wrong idea. So I wouldn't bring them from my side, but I feel like I've definitely been a breadcrummy, you know? Oh. You know? Just dropping enough breadcrumbs to keep you interested so you're kind of going along for the ride. Yeah, definitely experience that. Yeah, no, I'm definitely not a breadcrumb-er either because I'm so just straight up that I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea because then I'd be like, okay, bye, go as soon as you did. I'm not, I have the biggest ego. Someone could love on me and I'd be like, yeah, of course you are, I'm amazing. And I need that attention. You are amazing, Lily! I love that! Oh stop. Love this. I think the other side of breadcrumbing is like, my friends and I call it mental terrorism, and you play games with people. It's breadcrumbing but it's kind of like the opposite. For example... my friend likes this guy and they're only friends on B-Real. So she stopped posting for three days to get his attention because she's like, he'll know that I'm not posting. And if I do it for like two days, he'll be like, oh, she's busy. But if I do it for three days, he'll know that I'm doing it to get his attention. How are you only friends with someone on B-Real? And how do you even have time in your day to think that? Isn't it? The dating world is mental. That's like so much thought has gone into that process right there. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't have the energy. That's so funny. I've decided I only talk to people who message me back straight away. Oh yeah. With a little bit of a grace period, if they're like working or something. Not like a day later or something. No, I don't know. I'm not into that anymore or the half hour. So I don't do the not posting. I'm pretty real for the three days. I am. Oh my gosh. I'm just. That is crafty. Yeah, that's so crafty. I am just like logged on to Bumble and Hinge in the last week or so. Oh yeah, as you know, Lily, because I asked you to write my profile. Tell me how is it going? Um. Give us an update, we need to know. Well, honestly, the outcome of the profile writing, it didn't happen. I did my own, which is probably my lack of matches. You can write mine. No way. Bumble shit, anyway. No, anyway, we need to do that, Lily. But so yeah, but I'm terrible. It's like three messages in, I was like, oh no, you haven't caught me by, like you gotta get my attention straight up. Otherwise it turns to admin and I'm like, don't have time for it. And I ghost, I don't say bye, I ghost. Exactly. Oh, I feel like dating apps, I'm not onto the date. I'm not worried about someone's putting us on a dating app. Like they, yeah, they kinda. Like even that's admin, you know? Like you go, I'm not gonna just chat. And boring chat, shit chat. Well, that, Viv, yeah. Actually, Lily, Lily DM'd me. Off the platform ASAP. Yes, I did have this experience with bad chat and Lily messaged me and she said, you can't reward bad chat, Viv. Viv wanted me to give him a chance. That was particularly bad chat, but the context behind it is that Joe's just consistently like red flag. Red flag, red flag. I'm like, you gotta actually, like, you know? You have to give this a go. No, definitely not. Flip the coin a little bit. That particular instance was, he was not getting the vibe, but I feel like we haven't had a situation where you've actually given someone a chance. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dry chat is the worst though. We don't reward that, because then you just put in all the effort. See? Oh my god. Yeah, so I'm out if you don't get me interested within about three messages, I feel. She's done and dusted. Yeah. Dating apps are so hard though. I don't use them because I like to get the vibe from people. Same. Yeah, me too. Dating apps can go. They're out. Yeah, okay. We'll delete, although I did pay the bumble premium thing. So, we're having a... Did you? till December 22nd. Yeah, well, like how good is this? Only people that I swipe right to get to see that I'm on there. That's cool. Yeah, I'm like that's worth $22 a month. Yeah, that's cool. So yeah. Getting rid of all the povos. Yeah, like you don't have all this shit like somebody has, you know, like liked you and stuff like that. Yeah, so anyway, I'm on there till the 22nd of December. Anyone listening, you better get on there. Nice. We're going to need an update then as well. Yeah, the other thing that I heard for 2023 that started to become a thing in 2022 is non-monogamy. I can't say that word properly. Non-monogamy. Non-monogamous relationship. Like opening up your relationship. Yeah. COVID started that and people realized kind of that they wanted more excitement and that's starting to be a thing. We're just spicing it up a little you know. That's so interesting so I recently went to Sydney and I was with this guy and he's gay and he's got this long-term partner but they like opened up their relationship and they just they you know overseas they don't know about it off they go do their thing. I don't think I could do that though. Yeah, I have probably never thought about that if I was in a relationship. So they're in different countries? I think so, yeah, I think that's the rule. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it appeals to me. No. It's the thing, like I think I'm a one person loyal. Yeah. Yeah, I think. I once had a boyfriend that was like, oh, we should totally open up our relationship. And I was like, didn't speak to him for two days. I was like, how could you even, how could you say that to me? You're so young as well. That is just, that's not even like opening up your long-term marriage. That's just cheating. Yes, that's just wanting, wanting you to be okay. And also my whole thing, like, I guess there's, I guess there's, if in a, ethical non-monogamy in a lot of ways, like whether people are going to sex clubs or if they're going and being swingers together or whatever, but when people were dating others, I'm like, I can't even find one person to date. I'm like, I can't even find multiple. I'm like, I can't even put in the effort to go on a hinge date. You know? So that's the part that I can't. I can't wrap my head around. Yeah, they call it ethical sexploration. Ethical sex exploration. Yeah. Yeah, so I think if you were, yeah, if there was like an easy road, but the people who actually date, other people are like so hard. That's so fucking true. How do, like we can't even get one person. I know. The two. I don't stand it too far. And then you've got involved. Yeah. And then it probably might cause drama in your existing relationship, and then you've got someone else to worry about. Fuck that. I know. Well that's like, people say you shouldn't have threesomes if your relationship isn't stable because then you'll just like fight with each other. Oh yeah I agree with that one. Yeah that's a bad one. Okay this actually leads us quite well into the next one. Situationships. Have you guys had one? Heaps. So many. I feel like every relationship now is a situationship. Yeah. For those who don't know, it's more serious than a one night stand, but it's not a relationship. Yeah, I feel like it's kind of like on the friends with benefits scale. Although there's friends with benefits, and then there's, what was that other thing called? Like, well, no, what it used to be called. Like kind of like, no strings. It's kind of like situationship like lays in that category, right? I feel like I can be no strings or friends with benefits with someone who I don't like, I kind of don't like him a little bit. You know what I mean? There's something about him that I'm just like, oh, like, you know what I mean? Really? But then why bother like even doing a situation? Oh, it's for the sex. No, because that's different to the sexual, that's different to the situationship. Where they're like, when their like situationship is... you know, you kinda like each other, but it's not probably the right timing or it's not quite right, you know? You just continue seeing each other because it's really easy. But you're not like friends with benefits just going over at night time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's totally the thing, though. You don't want to get locked down. You know, you don't want to spend Christmas with their family. Yeah. But like, you want to spend Saturday night in their bed. Yeah. Yeah, good point. and then you hang out the next day and it's still very easy, but there's a little part of you that goes, mm, this is just not that. Isn't that just, because if they are on a different page then that's just gonna be a disaster, right? Yeah, that's how a lot of situationships end. Yeah, because they gotta be on the same boat of not like, you know? Wanting to take it further. Yeah. Absolutely. But a situation ship, I don't feel, if it's a situation ship, I don't feel, it's not friends with benefits where you might go and like sleep with other people, you know? I feel like a situation ship, you sort of got it good enough going together so, and then that can be what also, you know, stirs the pot a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also like, why not date in 2023? God, it's so hard. So hard, it's shit. Nah, it's fun. But I think situationships as well, like it's just easier and you can kind of like, you can go be a menace in the club and then you can like go see them later. 100%, yep. Which is kind of this takes us to the next one. I think a tip that people should take into 2023 got I had to think about what year it was I think I see this at the start of the year as well, but 80% of dates don't become relationships. I Think we all yeah, so it's like four out of five dates or something Don't progress any further than like this first second or third date. I Thought it would be more than that to be honest That's quite a lot Yeah. But if you think about it, like, how many days? I'm trying to think of that as a percentage. It's over 80%, isn't it? Yeah, I just feel like, I don't know. Just feel like it might take me longer than five to find someone worth the second one. But that's definitely. I gotta start dating to even do five. Yeah, exactly. But I think it's like in New Zealand, we're almost moving away from that culture of like you hook up in the club and then you're kinda like dating. And we're more moving into like dating because of the dating apps. Do you feel? It's true. That's so true. Yeah. That's actually so true. Yeah. And yeah, but like. It's so true. Before dating apps, that's really the only chance. Yeah. I guess you'd give someone your number. But yeah. True. Did you ever do that? Just give someone your number. Gave someone my number. Yeah, probably go home with them. Yeah. I don't remember, I'm too old. Oh Joe. Yeah, yeah no. All I'm thinking, I'm just stuck on the thought that fuck. I haven't even been on one date, let alone five, to find my chance. But also those stats are taken from thousands and thousands of people. And people that aren't as picky to actually go on the first date. Exactly, and to get that stat you've got to, it's got to be a very large pool to. I believe they were from Bumble, and they were taken across Australia and New Zealand. Yeah, so that's a lot of data. Yeah. So it's a percentage. Yeah, but I think- And people were just like happy to go for coffee with people, whereas- Yeah, cause you hear, I was reading this column from a dating columnist and she- I was like- Oh my God. I was like, I can't think of one person that I'd actually wanna go on a coffee with. Well that's when these people are on Bumble talking to them all. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be? I think I would go Jack Harlow. She's already thought about it. Well I've seen you post that on your story before. Lily, I don't even know that many, I don't know enough celebrities to even, even be in too god. Okay, what about the classics? You might be doing another podcast with Harry Jowsey. Harry Jowsey. Ooh. Yeah. I don't know, Lily. I've never really thought too hard about what celebrity I'd be into. How about you, Jo? No, I'm a bit- What about like a childhood crush? You know, like what about Jesse McCartney or- Oh, I did think Heath Ledger was quite hot, but RIP, you know, so he's gone. Oh, Heath Ledger was one of mine too. You've always gone for the older guys, haven't you? I was. He's like, he was around my age. You know who was on my wall was Dean Cain, the old Superman, and he, like no one's even heard of him now, but he's gay. Oh God, we haven't chosen very well. No. No, I was expecting you to come out and be like, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom. Yeah, no, I had Leo. I also had Leo. Yeah, good old Leo. I don't know. Yeah, maybe celebrities just don't, do it for me. I think it's the same as dating apps, you can't tell until you talk to them. This person is true. So you know, they might be like good looking, but I don't know if I, you know, find them attractive at all. You really get to talk to them. Yeah. Like I mean, there's a couple of people on socials that like I follow and stuff and I'd be like, oh, I'll do you, good old Sean. And I feel like he's got a lot of people around the world that would do him. Oh, we've had him on the podcast before, haven't we? Oh no. Joe name jumping the podcast guests. I love it. Yeah, no, he's hot though. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. That's so funny. I forgot we've done that. Tearable answers to your question. Moving on. Okay, I've got another tip. Don't take yourself too seriously. I think we did this at the start again, but it's just such a good one. And it rolls in so well with that 80% of dates don't become relationships, because if you're just getting so wound up about it, you're not gonna have a good time. And that's how point of dating, you're just meant to have fun. Yeah, you're just meeting people. Yeah. It's just a test and it's a trial and error situation. Or trial and success. Do you get nervous before first dates? Because I'm a mess. I'm shaking, I need to go for walks. It's probably why I don't go on them, Lily. Yeah. And just make an excuse before it gets to that stage. Yeah, you wait and wait and wait and then you're like, oh, okay, I'm not going. I reckon I do a little bit, but then as soon as I'm there, I'm like, sweet. Yeah. Like as soon as I'm there, I'll say hello, then it's all good, but when you're like sitting there waiting for them or something, then, you know. Yeah, you're like, oh, hope it goes well. Yeah, or you'd be like, oh God. Especially if you meet through a dating app and you don't really know what they're gonna be like in person. Yes, that's so true. Yeah. That's so true. Or when they're like walking towards you and they're just like, it's an awkward amount of time. And they're like shorter than what they said in their photos and like, oh, and then I'm like instantly freaked out and fine. Okay. I know. And then you go for the hug, do you go for the kiss? I think don't take yourself too seriously, but also the putting so much pressure on it as well. Yeah. Because I feel like, I feel like, when you go into it going, is this gonna be my life partner? It puts a lot of pressure on. And I reckon it makes it even, like the, say the height thing, makes it even more apparent, do you know what I mean? Like anything little that pops up, versus if you were to say, meet that person in like a friend setting and then like get to know them first so you probably wouldn't care, but it's because you feel like everything's, you know? a big deal. You can. Do you know what guys? That it's more noticeable. Just after this conversation, I realised. Set a break through. Pippany, I've nailed it. I've got the secret. Because the last two dates I've gone on, Viv came with me on one of them, and Courtney came with me on the other, and they were fine. Like, we just remembered. guy up in Auckland. Oh that's right. It just. It was three wheeling and. Yeah and then Courtney did on my next one and those two have been great. I've loved them. I haven't loved the people. They were great. Well I was drunk. Both times maybe. Cause there's not as much pressure on them. Great way to go. Yeah you know what I mean? That takes the pressure off and it was just like sitting down with some friends. That's so true. Yeah. That's so true. I'm gonna take one on all. Double dates could also be fun. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, double dates, actually that's a great idea. Or, like, I think that's, what was it? Jacob Lucas talked about going on like a walk. I was chatting with a friend the other day and he had been on all these walks like Lena's legs were sore. But, because then it kind of also takes the pressure off going for a walk. You're not like looking at each other just, you know, into each style. I felt like if mine was up. I'd be like. You can pick the rope. You can walk. You're going round the mountain or up the mountain. You just walk ahead. I'm good, I'm just gonna die back here. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Okay, another one. Watch out for the gas lighters. Yes. Nasty, nasty voice. I had a funny conversation the other day. My dad listens to a lot of talk back. And I walked in. I must have come home from breakfast or something and he's like, Vivian, what's gaslighting? I was like, oh my gosh, I can just imagine, I can just imagine the conversations on the talk back about, you know, the work millennials or something and something to do with gaslighting and all go, yeah, all go. But I agree, Lily, not nice. No. Yeah. And the love bombing. And the love bombing as a separate, what's the love bombing? Topic? The love bombing is like, okay, I meet you and I'm like, holy shit, you're the most amazing person I've ever met, I wanna get married, I wanna have kids with you, I wanna buy a house with you. And then, and all your friends are like, oh babe, I don't know, I feel like this is too good to be true, and you're like, no, oh my god, he loves me. And you're like, yeah, but it's been two weeks. It's been too bad. And no action. I think the other thing with love bombing is like, oh my god, next year we'll go to blah and then no action. I feel like love bombing is the biggest turn off anyway and you should be running. Yeah, add it to the art class. Yeah, but that's how, I feel like that's the start of every, every con. Rom-com? Yeah, we'll know the, yeah, Rom-com or when you're watching something about a con artist on Netflix, it's like vulnerable person. plus love bombing equals someone losing all their money. You know? Or someone in jail, like. Yeah, someone in jail for someone else to, you know what I mean? Definitely. Yeah. My last tip for everybody is to get rid of your ick list. Ooh. Really? I think we're too picky. Guilty. I know, I'm like looking at mine right now, I'm like, oh, what's on that? She's got a list. You've got a list. Oh, I should write a list. My list would be long. Oh. Can I tell you my favorite but worst ick? Yes. Okay. When they drink a vodka soda out of a straw. Stop. I'm like, nah, I'm done. That is so funny. That's so funny. Oh no. The funniest that came up in the office the other day, actually it might've been after your article, Lily, was the... holding the nose to jump into the pool. That's so bad! I know, I'm just like, that is like the world's biggest act. Oh my god, I just died laughing because it is so true. No one's doing that either, they are though. No, but they do, I feel like I've seen it before. I've seen it before. Yeah, I told my flatmate that, we were in the car talking about them and I was like, oh, when they hold their nose and she's like, oh! No, I can't do it. She's like, I'm deleting, I'm blocking, I'm getting out of there. I know. I feel like it needs to be like, within the first month you have to go to a pool just to see if they do that. Because I'm like out if they do that. Yeah. Oh my goodness. That one's pretty bad. That's up there with like, when you're bouncing on a trampoline and they kind of like flail their arms everywhere. No. So. Like loose your belly. Someone double bounces them and they're like, whoa! So do we need to get rid of the echolist altogether or do we need to, you know, just... Well, I think also it's like that concept of confirmation bias. Like, you know, if you focus on... The megabase. If you actually... All you're gonna see is these guys with icks, you know what I mean? It's all gonna be focused on. Yeah, I know! And no wonder why I'm never gonna get married or anything. We might go swimming once and just because he holds his nose when he jumps in, I'm like, out! That's me done. Yeah. Maybe for every ick that you have on your list, you should have like a smash list, you know? They do something you're like, mm, smash. Yeah. Yeah, or just like kind of, you know, work out if the ick is a red flag or it's, you know, because I feel like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Might be an ick, but might be okay. Yeah. If it's a green flag ick, maybe we should still just kind of like, oh, unless it's something that's going to happen every day and piss you off because fuck that. Oh, no. Maybe you can, yeah, maybe if it's not really going to affect your life, you could go and see therapy for the holding the nose thing. Yeah. I spent $100 on a therapist and yeah, that's good. So there's one study being done just to finish this off that apparently seven in 10 singles have admitted to going back to a form of flame. So- Oh, I do that all the time. I have my actions on rotation. Who haven't I been back to? Exactly. And so do we need to stop this trend for 2023 or continue it? Well, sometimes it's just really easy, you know? It's real easy and like, you know, it's not gonna happen. Like you're just gonna have fun and then you're gonna leave it there. Really? Yeah. Unless it's super toxic. I swear, 10 years ago, yeah, I think 10 years ago, Jo did not know. Yeah. And it was just a horrible circle. So maybe identify- Yeah, emotional roller coaster. Yeah, so maybe identify whether this is affecting your mental health. Yeah. But you know. Friends with benefits, stop talking, see each other again, all good, you know? There's always like old flames that you're like, oh, they're not that bad, you know, on the scale. On the scale, they could be like, just for fun. But then there's those other ones that like, I messaged you guys about last week and I was like, oh my god guys, guess what, he's a psycho. And you were like, don't go back! Lily will fire you if you go back to him. Yeah, no, no Lily. Yeah, that's a hard one. Case by case basis, I reckon. Ideally not, ideally, you know, but um. Oh, there's always one though. There's always one that you've just got a soft spot for, but you know you'd never date. Yeah, true. Oh no, I haven't had that. I say that about every single one of mine, so. But you can have one of mine. You must have had nice exes, that's good. No, I just like being friends with them. I like breadcrumb. You like the attention still, hey? Yeah, I like the attention. Back to number one. I like sometimes if they like all your photo or something, when all your exes like your photo and you're like, oh, the whole crew is here. That is such a good one. Such an achievement. That's such a good one. That will make a meme out of that. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Awesome. All right, well I guess that wraps up our tips and tricks and trends of 2023 dating. Feeling very equipped to go into the new year with a new piece on dating. How about you, Jo, are you gonna get on some dates? I don't know, maybe we need some commitment on our stories or something for work. that Jo has to go on five dates for 2023 because if it's like four out of five, I need to get my odds up. But to get a statistic, like it has to be a fair test. So, and a fair test is at least 200 times. Now, scientifically speaking, so to actually meet at least 200 goes at something like that, I believe. That exhausted me. I nearly fell asleep. For you to get to the four out of five. you'd have to go on like 200 dates. No, I'm just going on five dates. Let's do one a month. Yeah, so you know, and it would give you better chances. Okay, and then if we're doing it for work, someone has to come with me, so. Okay. Easy, easy, right? Just come to Auckland, I'll go with you. Drop that pin in Sydney, happy days. Yeah. Amazing. Wasn't there a Kiwi woman that wrote a book about going on like 300 dates or something? I'm sure. I went to a, I actually went to a night in Sydney and a lady had gone on, she'd gone on a hundred dates or something like that and so she did a, oh she did, it was like a play. We had that Alex and Summer one that had gone on heaps too. Okay it's a hundred, 138 dates by Rebecca Campbell and it's a true story and she's a Kiwi woman and she was on her search for love. Right. Did she find it? because I'm giving up right now if she didn't. We can't give that away, you might have to read the book. I see. Well. True story of one woman's search for everything. Well maybe this needs to be a new segment next year and it'll make me date, I get to have somebody with me. Wow, please do. Maybe you can get her on the podcast. Well if she went on 138. Maybe it was number 138 that is now her partner. Cause it's a random number. Honestly, that is the most exhausting thought I have ever had in my mind. That's like two dates a week. But Gals dedicated, you know? She obviously was committed to her search for everything. Meanwhile, I just feel like I did the biggest commitment in saying five dates. Five dates is huge. Right, thank you. Yeah. One a month. Yeah, one a month. Okay, so anybody listening to this, just DM the socials with any eligible bachelors that aren't red flags. Your brothers. Yeah. Your brothers, your brother-in-laws. Yeah. Is that it? Brother-in-laws, not your sons. I feel like brother-in-laws are married to their sibling and probably shouldn't. Yeah, that's a red flag. Oh, is that what it is? Ex-brother-in-laws. I thought of. Oh yeah, no, I got you. Probably not your dad's. We had one DM. I thought it was like your husband's brother. That's so funny. We had one girl DM us last year that's like, my dad wants to take her out on a date. Yeah, look. What a deal. Yeah. I need to, yeah, I'll come up with my ick list, red flag list and we'll go from there. And I'll narrow my ick list down. What about the good list? Yeah, okay, I'll do one of them too. You need a smash list. Okay, smash list. Smash list, yeah. I'll do the smash list. I'll show you the bad ones and then no good ones. We'll do this tomorrow. It's the combo. We'll do this tomorrow. Amazing. Perfect. Thank you for your time, Lily. What a... What a great app, if you've got any feedback, make sure you send it through to Girls Get Off Instagram and we'll chat with you soon. Yay, thanks so much for having me. Bye. See ya, bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Girls Get Off podcast. Make sure you leave us five stars on Spotify or a review if you're living. listening on Apple Podcasts. Just one thing to note is that we can't have any explicit words on Apple Podcasts otherwise it doesn't get shown. So make sure you keep it PG. And if you want to find out more about Girls Get Off we're on Instagram at Girls Get Off. Our Facebook group is Girls Get Off Uncensored and you can find us on TikTok, Girls Get Off HQ. Our website GirlsGetOff.com. Thanks for listening.