So you want to sextplore?
Buckle in, babe. Your DMs are about to get hotter than the fire emoji.
As a self-confessed flirt-o-holic, it's only natural that part of my flirting takes place over the phone and thank god it does.
Sexting is your one-stop shop to get your lover all riled up before they even lay a hand on you.
This method of seduction is oh so under appreciated, and it can often be tainted with the "but that's what teenagers do" stigma.
And while the statement isn't exactly wrong, it fails to acknowledge that those pimply pubescents are quite possibly the horniest people in the world.
And I'm willing to bet sexting has something to do with it.
If you're not entirely sure where to start with your sexting career, never fear; there are so many ways to sext that it's almost impossible to get it wrong.
Unless you accidentally send a piccy to your family group chat, in which case, godspeed, queen.
But let's not accidentally manifest that… instead, let's get started:
1. Get comfortable
I'm not talking in bed, on the bus or at work. Don't literally get comfortable. Get mentally comfortable.
When you're sexting, things can get very hot, very fast, but they can also get very awkward.
Especially if you're trying to experiment with a new love interest and they aren't on the same page.
When you start talking to someone, the chat can be flirty, fun, and light with a sexy undertone, so sexting can feel like a natural progression.
But if you've been dating someone for a bit and they haven't initiated any r-18 rated chat, give them a heads up before sending them a full-frontal nudey rudey.
Don't pressure them if they're giving you the cold shoulder or don't seem interested in the saucy chat (and vice versa).
If they sound super into it, though, and you're both feeling the ooh la la vibes, have a chat about your boundaries.
Are you both comfortable with keeping sexts on your phone, or do they need to be deleted after?
Sexting tip: Snapchat is great for keeping your raunchy back and forths on the down-low.
2. Double check
Now that everyone is on the same page and you're ready to send your first flirty text, please double-check it.
The last thing you need is to accidentally send your "I can't wait to rip those clothes off you" text to your dad or worse…. Your brother.
You'd never be able to show your face again. A peaceful family Christmas would be something of the past. Cya dad, cya bro, I'm moving to Istanbul and never ever coming back.
3. Prepare for possible awkwardness
Sexting doesn't come naturally to everyone.
You could be the smoothest talker in the bedroom, but when it comes to channeling your naughty Shakespeare, it might be more like trying to teach a toddler how to spell.
Of course sexting is a lot of fun, but there can still be moments where you are gobsmacked and need a minute to process what in the lord sexy you just read.
Not to mention figuring out what to say back.
Don't stress. Take a breath, go flick the bean if you have to, and let your partner know things got a little too freaky.
Or, if you enjoyed it, tell them what you just did in the bathroom. They will love it.
4. Where to start
Thanks to f*ckboys, we all know the most classic sexting line starts with "what would you do if I was there".
And yeah, alright, it's overused and gives you a slight ick, but it's a classic for a reason.
If you know your partner is about to jump in the shower or get into bed, and would be all over you if you were there, ask them what they would do.
If they don't pick up on your sexy queues, give them a visualisation with a pic, a voice memo or a couple of smutty lines you 100 per cent stole out of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Another fail-safe sexting starter is if you have a date night planned, you can start the date early with an anticipation builder of "guess what I'm wearing".
Then instead of describing your fabulous outfit, describe the layers underneath….if there are any.
Or if they're asking you to do something, like take the trash out, take a page out of the rebellious teenager's book and reply, "make me".
Watch trash duty go from yuck to ooh la la, very quickly.
And if you're reading this and having a menty b because you're not a wordsmith, it's all good, baby; there are a whole lot of emojis with a whole lot of dirty meanings.
Start with the peach, the eggplant and the water and see where you go from there.
Whichever way you embark on your sexting journey, remember to always get comfortable, double-check, and embrace the sexual innuendo of emojis.
- By Lillie Rohan.